upto_here Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 HI GUYS ..ITS been a while i did not post or update my story...because i try to think and work everything out...briefly:me and my mm have been through a lot together lately ,i have been pregnant by him and went trough the termination together which is hearth breaking for both of us we try to comfort each other throughout the ordeal ..and he had shown me how much he really care for me and PROVED to me that he is always there for me..i know what you might say that he felt the guilt thats why ...yes he did feel all the guilt that he put me trough this situation...we sat down and talk things like we never did before and felt closer than i could imagine...but somethings stuck in my mind ..though i really want all this to end and move on but i find myself so weak and every time i wanted to do it he always called and checked how i am ,how i felt so i have to start over and over again....as he will never leave the W and i don't want to leave my H...but i find myself clinging on to him...last week we talk again about spending a bit of a time together....he said that after everything went on he wanted to take things slowly and need time to clear every things < he is in trouble with the financial situation as well> out of his head ..and make decision with a clear concious ...although i understand the whole situation..but at the back of my mind i am so afraid ..and i don't know what!!! please give me some advice ..guys ..so confused:( try not to be a harsh one please because i am really emotional at the moment..then again thank you...
PoshPrincess Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Hey, Up to Here, you certainly sound confused at the moment. What do you want out of this R with him? Where do you see things with you and your H going?
Author upto_here Posted June 12, 2007 Author Posted June 12, 2007 Hey, Up to Here, you certainly sound confused at the moment. What do you want out of this R with him? Where do you see things with you and your H going? i'm not so sure what exactly i want from him all i know is when we together we understand each other and i felt so comfortable with him and due to respect he is so good to me ...did i make any sense? ,< i'm not sure> what do i want out of his R? to be honest with you i wanted to spend some time with him from time to time if that possible..i felt so warm when i'm with him ,i respect him for what he done and try to do and he has proved it to me that he cared a lot..as i say this there is no road for us apart from ending it. things with my H ,not good at all, i lose interested in him not because the MM but because of lack of respect from him and so on..after 10 years with him nothing had been done but said and i fed up of his behavior around people..i am annoy by that but because of the kids i try to stay in the M for their sake but i am an unhappy MW ,not happy at all as much as i try to ...but try not to show it ....i am confused and i don't know where to start.. as me and my MM we broke up a few time because things are going nowhere not because we not love each other .but we did not see future together we just enjoy each other company...so much and i think we both lack of attention from our partner but get it from somewhere else ..i know its sound unfair to the M but i just want to be with him and talk to him sometime...
Onelife Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 i'm not so sure what exactly i want from him all i know is when we together we understand each other and i felt so comfortable with him and due to respect he is so good to me ...did i make any sense? ,< i'm not sure> You really sound confused! And it's not a healthy way to be. I went through that feeling before and once I had reached the point where the weight of confusion and uncertainty ate me inside out, I knew it had to end. what do i want out of his R? to be honest with you i wanted to spend some time with him from time to time if that possible..i felt so warm when i'm with him ,i respect him for what he done and try to do and he has proved it to me that he cared a lot..as i say this there is no road for us apart from ending it. Please listen to your own words above. Right there...you know there is no road/no future. I really hope I could tell you which way to go from here but things like this you have to feel it within you. No matter how people try to tell you, it will never work. For me I had to reach the bottom first before I could pick myself up. I am still working hard on it. I hope you will find what works for you soonest. I hear your pain. as me and my MM we broke up a few time because things are going nowhere not because we not love each other .but we did not see future together we just enjoy each other company...so much and i think we both lack of attention from our partner but get it from somewhere else ..i know its sound unfair to the M but i just want to be with him and talk to him sometime... Love love love....I wish love will conquer all but I don't think it will in our cases. Love yourself more! That might be a way to go. I am trying ot do the same thing.
PoshPrincess Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 things with my H ,not good at all, i lose interested in him not because the MM but because of lack of respect from him and so on..after 10 years with him nothing had been done but said and i fed up of his behavior around people..i am annoy by that but because of the kids i try to stay in the M for their sake but i am an unhappy MW ,not happy at all as much as i try to ...but try not to show it ....i am confused and i don't know where to start.. I personally don't think staying in a M for the sake of the kids is ever a good idea. I don't know how old your kids are but they will pick up the vibes that everything is not as it should be, and should your R with MM ever come out in the open it will only make things worse if you do leave. I think you should take a step back from MM for the time being and either work on your M or get the hell out of it. YOU deserve to be happy. This has no reflection on the way you feel about your kids. Once you detach yourself from the MM sitch and your marriage you will be able to see things more clearly. Then, you may find you don't want MM either, after all. as me and my MM we broke up a few time because things are going nowhere not because we not love each other .but we did not see future together we just enjoy each other company...so much and i think we both lack of attention from our partner but get it from somewhere else ..i know its sound unfair to the M but i just want to be with him and talk to him sometime... Basically you BOTH need to be honest with yourselves and you with your H/him with his W. I don't necessarily mean tell your SOs that you have been involved with each other, but just to lay your cards on the table. You need to let your H know that you're not happy (if you haven't already done so) and he needs to let his W know the same thing, unless he just sees you as a convenient distraction, that is.
lost0604 Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 upto here: oy hearing how unhappy you are in your M but staying for the kids...I may not have room to talk being unhappily M myself but I do feel I am trying to sort it out and perhaps even overthinking it before making a definite move..hence the 3 separations in a year...sigh..but from growing up I can tell you staying in your marriage unhappily for the kids doesn't help the kids even if you think you are good at hiding it...regardless their age...they know...my son is 3 and he caught onto a lot more than i though he would...and as a child i always knew my parents were not happy...I'd rather have grown up in a split home, and this was my mom with my stepdad not my alcoholic father...she was still not happy but in it because she found us a good father...just not a good husband...anyway i'd rather have had them divorced and happy than married and miserable...they know hon...try to do what is right for you and i can almost promise you it will be right for them...
PoshPrincess Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 ...anyway i'd rather have had them divorced and happy than married and miserable...they know hon...try to do what is right for you and i can almost promise you it will be right for them... I'll second this. I grew up knowing that my Dad never loved my Mum. It was a relief in some ways when they finally split up and I was in my 20s then. My Mum took my Dad back briefly, much to mine and my brothers disgust, but just totally proved to her that that was the biggest mistake of her life. I think that was the most frustrating thing with my MM - that he was staying for the kids - but every situation is different and he had to do what he had to do. I think he will realise in the not too distant future when the kids have left home that he made a mistake, not necessarily by giving up on me but by staying when he's obviously not happy (from what he tells mutual friends) just as my Dad did. It's the reason I ended up ending my LTR. I didn't want to end up the same way. Don't let this happen to you!
Author upto_here Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 I personally don't think staying in a M for the sake of the kids is ever a good idea. I don't know how old your kids are but they will pick up the vibes that everything is not as it should be, and should your R with MM ever come out in the open it will only make things worse if you do leave. I think you should take a step back from MM for the time being and either work on your M or get the hell out of it. YOU deserve to be happy. This has no reflection on the way you feel about your kids. Once you detach yourself from the MM sitch and your marriage you will be able to see things more clearly. Then, you may find you don't want MM either, after all. first of all thank you very much of your guys support and advices....it does mean a lot to me...i know how unhappy i am in this M and i think my H can see through it i told him and talk to him from time to time ,he only listen for about 2second <even less> then after that things will be the same again and i hope for the better believe me each day ....my affection for him is none apart from feel sorry for him if i actuallu leave..and he will be devasted ...and can you tell me how can i take a step back from MM ? where to start? yes,i do want to see things cleary and sort my head out exactly what i want ,and yes may be o don't really need MM either...to be honest sometime we meet up but i felt somethings is not 100% right ...i need my confidense back somehow to work things through...then i can be a happy woman and take control back of my life...i will try to do what is right maybe not in a rush time but slowly step by step...
lonelybird Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 i'm not so sure what exactly i want from him all i know is when we together we understand each other and i felt so comfortable with him and due to respect he is so good to me ...did i make any sense? ,< i'm not sure> i know its sound unfair to the M but i just want to be with him and talk to him sometime... so in the beginning you and your husband just married, you didn't love your husband? didn't feel warm around him? didn't want to talk to him? and didn't feel comfortable with him? what did make your feeling changed? can you sure you can keep same degree of warmth and love to the mm all the years?
Author upto_here Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 [quote=lonelybird;1221235]so in the beginning you and your husband just married, you didn't love your husband? didn't feel warm around him? didn't want to talk to him? and didn't feel comfortable with him? what did make your feeling changed? can you sure you can keep same degree of warmth and love to the mm all the years? To be honest with you i know that a long time ago that i did not love him ..the foundation of our M is not from love ,yes ,we used to be girlfriend and boyfriend but then i found myself pregnant and thats was it...all those years there are so many things went on and of course i saw it but not acknowledge it...everyone around me include my parents see that but only me that not see because i believed in M and the kids needs the DAd ,and im not believe that anyone can loved by kids like his own dad so yes i stay...i admit it my MM did play some part in it,to open my eyes<in my case> that i deserved better but the grass is not always greener on the other side...is there! i never felt warmed around him anymore all he wants and talk about and its the big issue for him is intimate....!!! and i hate that i try to work things through with him but always ..this intimate played a big part in our R....as for my MM the intimate never be the big issue, always gentle ...intimate is not the big deal in our R at all...what can i say after this ,,and i know i am such a coward that i know the R with the H is not good,, still ,,,i can't leave ,just like that,isn't it? no ,i don't think my feeling toward my MM will be the same in the year..its begin to fade away bits by bits..we don't have anything much to share ...apart from the feeling...emotional and guilt altogether because of the termination,,it bound to end soon ,,may be both,i can feel it...somehow:o
Author upto_here Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 I've been so low today ..knowing that i meet with the MM for a coffee but i felt so bad afterward.i don't know why ..but so on the more we talk the more there nothing to talk about:lmao: its kid of weird situation and again ..he asks for more time to clear his head about what he want and how exactly he feel about me..or i'm i pushing him too hard? i just want to know how he felt about me now,somethings telling me i can't wait becuase its started to hurt and the fear is coming in...the fear that i will loose him...thats is all i can think about now i can not concentrated properly on everything ,my head tell me to stop this and concentrated with my M but on the heart i don't want to be a looser either ..ant its so dreadful....i' start to be an insecure woman ...all i want is to be with him which i can't...its hurt so much...
Onelife Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Sooner or later you will have to realize that this R is doomed from the start. It's good that this R helps you to realize that you DO deserve more from the R with your H or in any R for that matter! But it's the different story! You can't keep on living like this. IMO anyway. Think of what you and your kids will benefit from all that is going on. If you can see yourself being happy in the long run or not. If not, you ought to think of the better plan which may mean fixing your M or get out of it and start fresh once and for all! I do hope you will find peace within yourself soon because you sound very very confused and that is not a healty way to be. Best wishes to you and your kids. I feel your pain.
Cobra_X30 Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 upto_here, I pity your family so much. If I were your son and you did this to MY dad, I would NEVER forgive you. It says alot about your character that you blame the whole thing on your H for not bieng perfect. You took advantage of someone that actually thought you were special, to be a booty call for some MM. Way to F over his wife too. You didnt just cheat on your H, you cheated on your kids too. Unless you take action, they are going to grow up and realize what you actually are. I can't believe you have this guy actually working on your M, while your running around on him. You know its not too late to grow some integrity and get a divorce. You want your kids to grow up with this as thier example of a marriage??
scaredinlove Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 HI GUYS ..ITS been a while i did not post or update my story...because i try to think and work everything out...briefly:me and my mm have been through a lot together lately ,i have been pregnant by him and went trough the termination together which is hearth breaking for both of us we try to comfort each other throughout the ordeal ..and he had shown me how much he really care for me and PROVED to me that he is always there for me..i know what you might say that he felt the guilt thats why ...yes he did feel all the guilt that he put me trough this situation...we sat down and talk things like we never did before and felt closer than i could imagine...but somethings stuck in my mind ..though i really want all this to end and move on but i find myself so weak and every time i wanted to do it he always called and checked how i am ,how i felt so i have to start over and over again....as he will never leave the W and i don't want to leave my H...but i find myself clinging on to him...last week we talk again about spending a bit of a time together....he said that after everything went on he wanted to take things slowly and need time to clear every things < he is in trouble with the financial situation as well> out of his head ..and make decision with a clear concious ...although i understand the whole situation..but at the back of my mind i am so afraid ..and i don't know what!!! please give me some advice ..guys ..so confused:( try not to be a harsh one please because i am really emotional at the moment..then again thank you... It means that he loves you but he is confused if he should stay married,continue the affair or end it. My MM was like that, he asked time too but I never let him go because I was confused and afraid. Now he is OK. You went thru a lot recently and you both being married dosen't make it any easier.Maybe if you can you should give him time and take time for yourself too. i am the last person on earth to give this advice because I clinged to MM so much and I never allowed him to take his time, but now I regret I didn;t. I think it would have been good if I had, I actually feel guilty for not giving him some space. Set up a date like one week ,two weeks, something you can work with. Good Luck!
Author upto_here Posted June 15, 2007 Author Posted June 15, 2007 upto_here, I pity your family so much. If I were your son and you did this to MY dad, I would NEVER forgive you. It says alot about your character that you blame the whole thing on your H for not bieng perfect. You took advantage of someone that actually thought you were special, to be a booty call for some MM. Way to F over his wife too. You didnt just cheat on your H, you cheated on your kids too. Unless you take action, they are going to grow up and realize what you actually are. I can't believe you have this guy actually working on your M, while your running around on him. You know its not too late to grow some integrity and get a divorce. You want your kids to grow up with this as thier example of a marriage?? one life:thank you very much for your support and yes i do realize what went on and try to remind myself all the time...and be realistic also... COBRA: I think thats a bit harsh what you saying there ,i or everyone never meant or wanted this situation to happen and never plan the whole thing if something bound to happen it happen..and i think i deserved to be happy one way or another but i didn't want to choose to be a cheater to be happy,,you don;t know me so you can not judge me how i treat my kids ...i loved them to bits and never wanted to hurt them in the world..this is personal, kids will never get involved no matter what ..did you ever been married or we call it stay in a convenient M ? .and you got it wrong there that i blame everything on my H that he is not perfect ...i wanted this M to work somehow but find it hard to .nobody perfect including you and me if i don't want this M to work i wouldn't stay at all and like i said i do believe in M ..and i know and i will take step by step to sort everything out one by one ..i can not put the whole problems together and sort it...all i wanted to do now is clear my head and think with concious...for the sake of everyone including myself.......and i don't really think you did read all my post about my R with the H at all... scaredinlove: thank you for your advice, TIME, i suppose it will help work through everything and i know i need it most ..i wanted to calm everything down now and we go from there whatever happen i know it will be the best for everyone.... i know guys i can not work out on the M and R with MM at the same time and i won't, i will think hard what is worth more in the long run like onelife said ..i think deep down i know the answer to that but hate to admit it...i know i can gain my confidence back and work everything through .. ..
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 kids will never get involved no matter what .. Trust me on this one: as the child of two marriages, both marred and destroyed by philandering - eventually your kids will be involved, whether you like it or not. I knew something was up between my parents from a young age, and to this day decades later it still disgusts me. I heard about it from friends at school, from other family members, and so on. You cannot begin to imagine how ashamed I was to have parents who screwed around on each other with single people, with other married people, etc. Get out of this affair while you can. Before your children pick up on it, because eventually they will and you don't want them posting on a forum years from now talking about how disgusted and ashamed they are by you - not only for cheating on their father but cheating with the husband and father of someone else's children. Divorce is traumatic, but it is nothing compared to finding out just how low your parents can possibly sink by sneaking around and cheating with someone else's husband or wife whenever they have the opportunity. At least consider sparing your children that. 1
Cobra_X30 Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 [/b] COBRA: I think thats a bit harsh what you saying there ,i or everyone never meant or wanted this situation to happen and never plan the whole thing if something bound to happen it happen..and i think i deserved to be happy one way or another but i didn't want to choose to be a cheater to be happy,,you don;t know me so you can not judge me how i treat my kids ...i loved them to bits and never wanted to hurt them in the world..this is personal, kids will never get involved no matter what ..did you ever been married or we call it stay in a convenient M ? .and you got it wrong there that i blame everything on my H that he is not perfect ...i wanted this M to work somehow but find it hard to .nobody perfect including you and me if i don't want this M to work i wouldn't stay at all and like i said i do believe in M ..and i know and i will take step by step to sort everything out one by one ..i can not put the whole problems together and sort it...all i wanted to do now is clear my head and think with concious...for the sake of everyone including myself.......and i don't really think you did read all my post about my R with the H at all... I agree it was intentionally harsh. Sometimes it takes a splash of cold water to wake you up. I believe what you mean is that you never intended the situation to turn out the way it has. Your just waiting for some guy to come along and sweep you out of your bad marriage. Look, you cant really say oops it just happend, because you made the choices and decisions to end up where your at. Yes, I think your H deserves probably most of the blame for where your M is at, but you 100% own the blame for your A. You do deserve to be happy! But you dont need to destroy the lives of those around you to accomplish that. Why does your happiness have to come at the expense of two families? Will that really make you happy in the end or is it just short term gratification? Your right I dont know you, but Ive been where your kids are so I know the road your taking them down! Look, Im not saying go back to your H and try and make your M right! It sounds like that would be a disaster. You seem confused but at least your choices are clear.
scaredinlove Posted June 15, 2007 Posted June 15, 2007 Up to here, When I started my affair 5 yrs ago i was married too, so i know how hard it is. When his W found out almost a yr ago I told my exH about the affair and ended my marriage.At that time I thought ending the affair would be the best too, i tryed ending it but I couldn't now I decided to leave it as it is.I chose the affair over my marriage. What I am saying here is it will very hard to you to sort both relationships out.i knew in my heart I had to end that M and time just proved me right. You said you don't want to leave your H. I would assume your marriage is not that bad and you love him.In that case i would suggest you to end the affair and work in your marriage and go from there. Good Luck whatever you chose. And yes time will sort things out.But be prepared to go thru hell once your H and his W figure it all out. Best wishes
Impudent Oyster Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 To be honest with you i know that a long time ago that i did not love him ..the foundation of our M is not from love ,yes ,we used to be girlfriend and boyfriend but then i found myself pregnant and thats was it.. That seems to happen to you quite a lot. Maybe that's the problem. You might want to learn how to prevent unwanted pregnancies, they can really add a lot of drama to a persons life.
Author upto_here Posted June 16, 2007 Author Posted June 16, 2007 I agree it was intentionally harsh. Sometimes it takes a splash of cold water to wake you up. I believe what you mean is that you never intended the situation to turn out the way it has. Your just waiting for some guy to come along and sweep you out of your bad marriage. Look, you cant really say oops it just happend, because you made the choices and decisions to end up where your at. Yes, I think your H deserves probably most of the blame for where your M is at, but you 100% own the blame for your A. You do deserve to be happy! But you dont need to destroy the lives of those around you to accomplish that. Why does your happiness have to come at the expense of two families? Will that really make you happy in the end or is it just short term gratification? Your right I dont know you, but Ive been where your kids are so I know the road your taking them down! Look, Im not saying go back to your H and try and make your M right! It sounds like that would be a disaster. You seem confused but at least your choices are clear. yes and thank you ,i know you all meant well and some of you might been there and done that.and wanted to open my eyes.i knew in my heart that its only a short term happiness with the MM ..and what more worthwhile is my M and the kids ...i'm the only one who has been hurt by all this and its pure me...i don't want to make the bad choices at all..my heart tell me one things my head tell me one...its so confused ...i need to make decision and i'm not very good at it..at all.. i spoke with my H today about our R and i have to be honest with him purely my feeling not because of the A and as much as i'm being honest we both getting hurt i hate to see ourself like this ..and i want to be normal the whole situation is getting me down...i really want our M to work and be a perfect family again...and with my MM ,,i think i just wanted to see him suffered and feel the pain that i been through ..its called revenge ...but the end of the day i'm the one whose really hurt by all this...spared me some soul!!
Author upto_here Posted June 16, 2007 Author Posted June 16, 2007 Up to here, What I am saying here is it will very hard to you to sort both relationships out.i knew in my heart I had to end that M and time just proved me right. You said you don't want to leave your H. I would assume your marriage is not that bad and you love him.In that case i would suggest you to end the affair and work in your marriage and go from there. Good Luck whatever you chose. And yes time will sort things out.But be prepared to go thru hell once your H and his W figure it all out. Best wishes thank you very much for your support.i knew i won't choose my affair over my M as the A is not worth it...its started to get to the point that i wanted more in the A relationship and its not healthy for me at all..the best solution for me is to leave the A ..i know but its getting harder and harder every time you actually want to do it. me and the MM talked again today and its not good i wanted more from him and as i said in this post that he need time to sort out his head .and the i pushed him again and again..and he come up with 2 solution.. 1> we just help each other with all emotional and deal with the R and get along 2> we just confess to both of our partner and get on with life ...and he chose the 1 choices and we said the same thing that we can not lead two lives but our emotion for each other is held us up....he hold his hand up and accept everything and he don't want me to go through that emotion again...sigh...its hurt soooo much...hurt like hell...
scaredinlove Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 thank you very much for your support.i knew i won't choose my affair over my M as the A is not worth it...its started to get to the point that i wanted more in the A relationship and its not healthy for me at all..the best solution for me is to leave the A ..i know but its getting harder and harder every time you actually want to do it. me and the MM talked again today and its not good i wanted more from him and as i said in this post that he need time to sort out his head .and the i pushed him again and again..and he come up with 2 solution.. 1> we just help each other with all emotional and deal with the R and get along 2> we just confess to both of our partner and get on with life ...and he chose the 1 choices and we said the same thing that we can not lead two lives but our emotion for each other is held us up....he hold his hand up and accept everything and he don't want me to go through that emotion again...sigh...its hurt soooo much...hurt like hell... Yeah ...It hurts like hell, and it is very difficult to leave.I know this all very well. A word of caution ...think hard before telling your spouses because you will virtually detroy them,it is not pretty. I told my exh almost a yr ago and he it was horrible, I don't think he can ever get over that.My MM wives is still crazy, the circle of pain never ends. If you tell them your friendiship with your MM may have to end too.I don't see the point of telling unless you want to end the M and go with MM. I am still in the affair, my MM is still M and his W is still freaking out,She thinks the affair is over but is not sure, and she cannot get over it so far. We tried breaking up thousands of times but the pain was worse than anything I have experienced in my life. I decided to be his lover, and wait to see what life will bring me. The only way you can do it is to accept the situation as it is and make the best of it.It is possible , many people have long term affairs. I don't know wht is goig to happen to us but I decided to live in the present, be happy when I see him. If you decide to stay the best is: avoid cell phones and e-mails, don't leave any trails. Make days where you will see each other. When you are not with him live your life and don't think about him. Respect each other partner by not calling at home and not calling each other in the days when you are with your partners.For example I will never call him on his days offs when he is with his W and he wont call me either. We set up days and times we can talk and we stick to it. Think what you will do and say if someone finds out. Take it easy, enjoy the present.Make it real, you are together for few hrs and that all you can have unless you decide to be together full time. Forget about wishing and wanting and you will be OK!At least it is working for me and MM like that, it may not work for you too. Either that or go NC and end the A if you cannot deal wth the hidding. Good luck!
Author upto_here Posted June 16, 2007 Author Posted June 16, 2007 I don't know wht is goig to happen to us but I decided to live in the present, be happy when I see him. If you decide to stay the best is: avoid cell phones and e-mails, don't leave any trails. Make days where you will see each other. When you are not with him live your life and don't think about him. Respect each other partner by not calling at home and not calling each other in the days when you are with your partners.For example I will never call him on his days offs when he is with his W and he wont call me either. We set up days and times we can talk and we stick to it. Think what you will do and say if someone finds out. Take it easy, enjoy the present.Make it real, you are together for few hrs and that all you can have unless you decide to be together full time. Forget about wishing and wanting and you will be OK!At least it is working for me and MM like that, it may not work for you too. Either that or go NC and end the A if you cannot deal wth the hidding. Good luck! thank you scaredinlove its means alot to me of your support..i woke up today feeling so bad my heart is so slow and i felt so low and then i saw your post..it does help me in one way i suppose...i will try to do what is best and make the most of it..i think i demand too much because he always busy with business and his family...and try to make time its is a bit uptight at the moment ...today is my last day at work< i work with him> i decided to quit a while ago because i don't want to hurt myself more and its the best solution for me i guess because i be leaving and see him not make a move or plan how we will meet up its kind of kii me inside ..i have to be the one who plan all the meeting anf felt like its only one side...iguess what you said its the best for now and try to deal with the situation ...and live in present...what i'm i ? a fool? i hope not...
scaredinlove Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 You are NOT a fool! I been there I know how you feel took me a long time to get where I am now. You are going thru a lot, the marriage, the affair, the terminated pregnancy, changing jobs. Come on don't be so harsh on yourself!!!! Just take it easy and you will find the best solution , be patient and take it easy. One day at a time:). Things you fall in place again!Bad times pass and go away,only when we are going thru it we forget and think that it willlast forever.This all will pass and things will be fine again.
pureinheart Posted June 16, 2007 Posted June 16, 2007 Love love love....I wish love will conquer all but I don't think it will in our cases. Love yourself more! That might be a way to go. I am trying ot do the same thing. First Upto....my heart really goes out to you and my prayers are with you....I totally agree with Onelife..... Love can be like a drug....I have had to "white knuckle" it many times....I heard a statement from a guy a few years back who needed to end a R....he referred to it as "withdrawls". That stuck in my mind, and how true. Man, in reading your posts I can feel all of the stress that you have been through and are going through and I fear for your physical and mental well being. If this is possible for you, this is what I see is needed for all concerned....go NC w/MM.....work out the things w/your H and see where you stand afterwards, meaning D or making things better with him....please seek counceling for all issues. This will take some time to fully come out of, but in the end you will be whole and healthy....one situation at a time, one day at a time....
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