waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Me and my girl have been dating for 4 months. She is totally in love with this facebook thing. She hides stuff from me on there. like who she adds and what she does. She also goes into groups and tries to meet new people. It is really starting to get to me. We are in an LDR and I feel like she is not honest with me. What should I do? I have facebook also but I never hide things from her. When we are together she tells me all these nice things. But when we are apart it is like our communication is horrible. She never calls or sends text or anything. I am lucky to talk to her once a day. She is also on MSN but she never sends me an im when she is online. She just sits there. Personally I think she is cheating or trying to find someone else. What to do? Any ideas?
whichwayisup Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Fact that you two are in a LDR makes this harder. How long have you two been seeing eachother and how long has it been an LDR? Listen to your gut. If you are not trusting her and think she's up to no good, then don't ignore that voice!! By her actions, or shall I say NON-actions, she's certainly not putting in ANY effort into the relationship! Not talking to you whenever she can, phone or msn, is just weird. Her actions are showing you something so maybe you need to rethink what it is she offers you in this relationship! This isn't about feelings, it's about a give and take thing. Respect, friendship and romance. Talk to her about how you feel, don't let her walk all over you!
Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 I don't really understand Facebook. I'm on there, but I don't "get it." There's really no information to see/share, is there?...but then again, maybe I'm doing something wrong? Meh, I'll stick with MySpace.
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 We have been together for 4 months. She lives an hour from me but now she lives 6 hours from me. I have driven down there the last 3 weekends to see her. When I am there everthing is great! But when I am gone it is a different story. For example today she only talked to me once on the phone and she was online all day and never sent anything to me. Should I lay low for a while and see what happens or should I just confront her about the facebook thing!
whichwayisup Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 You two SHOULD be on the phone ALOT more than that! 4 months isn't a long time for the honeymoon stage to disappear. Yes, lay low, back off and get busy! Live life OUTSIDE the house instead of online, waiting for her. If she wants to talk to you, she can pick up the phone and CALL you! Forget talking to her online, personally I think if you're in a relationship with someone, it should be LIVE conversations that one can hear, not online when you don't know who else she is talking to at the same time. You can't control what she does, so if you tell her off about facebook that is only going to push her to get into more. Even more so because you two are long distance.
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 yeah i agree. I Am going to lay low for a while. She is just not into the whole communication thing when I am not there. To be honest with you I do not trust her. She is on there in forums trying to get people to add her and comment on her pics. She never writes anything that we are girlfriend and boyfriend. She also has it so guys cant see that she is together with someone. Which is totally crazy!
whichwayisup Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 How can your relationship grow if she isn't willing to put any effort when you two are not together? That's a sure way of growing apart, and to make you feel insecure and doubt her, like you are now. She may not be 'cheating' physically on you, but she is putting it out there that she is single and not tied down to anyone. Ask yourself this. Is she worth fighting for? Do you see a future with her? If not, it might be best to cut ties now and break it off. You need someone who is going to love you and want to spend time with you. Even if apart, you want that girlfriend to call you into the late hours of the night, talking and having some fun sexy talk too! Seems she isn't doing that either. Again, listen to your gut.
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 I agree. She is off for the next three weeks and I asked her to come down to my place and she denied me. She said that she was going to hang out with friends. She is more of a social person that me. She Likes to go out to parties and get hammered. That is where I do not trust her. So the fact that she is not coming down this week so I am kinduv annoyed and feeling bad... any help ther?
Trialbyfire Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 She's not emotionally invested and sounds very immature. You're chasing someone who's a gamer. Walk away before she rips your heart out.
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 your right! I think she is a gamer. I think she is just using me. She really has no feelings. She is hard to open up and talk to. At least today I have only talked to her once. And she said that she has pms and that i should not call her today because she would be mad at me or something like that. So i dont know what to think
Lucky555 Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 First off, when your with her everthings great, are u sure? Make sure you ask her if shes having a great time. Also, she might not talk to you online because she rather have a real relationship, where you can actually telephone and listen to eachother voices. Believe me online only will complicate things. She's still single because you probably didnt tell her that you think you and her should be boyfriend and girlfriend...to her its not clear where she stands with you so it sounds like she is still keeping her options open even though she might just want you! Another thing is talk to her, the facebook is usually for friends, but myspace is worse. I think if you talk to her about the actual relationship itself then it would clear things up between you instead of just guessing and trying to know whats going on..COMMUNICATION!!! But wait to talk to her face to face this way you can read her body language too. Be sweet be kind if shes been good to you.
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 yeah i understand where you are coming from. But we are girlfriend and boyfriend. We have decided that long ago. I am very sweet and kind when she is good to me. Dont get me wrong there!
girlie908 Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 hii your girlfriend sounded exactly like my bf!!! except we talked and he openly admitted he wasn't willing to put as much effort into the relationship i was. great. awesome. thanks for the year and a half and a nice start to the summer by saying "oh yea, i have a lot of things in my life right now that are more important than you. bye" haha well it wasn't exactly like that. but we're on a break now to see where things go. it's been kinda good actually. i have been sad occasionally but other times i think "hey in the end, you only have yourself" so don't depend on one person too much, and yes, there are many other ppl u can meet. good luck with ur situation tho, maybe ur gf is more mature than my bf!
GodofNietzsche Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Number 1: Delete your facebook account. It's social aleination. And it's only good for killing time. I think you're reading too much into this facebook stuff and it's doing you no good. Number 2: "Your gut" is often times the voice of your insecurities. Try being rational. That tends to be a good approach. If you can rationally see signs of her losing interest (which the lack of communication on her part shows), then yeah, you should question it.
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 12, 2007 Author Posted June 12, 2007 well today i found that she has a hot or not account on facebook. Where people go in and rate how hot she is. I confronter her and she flipped out. I dont give a flying crap anymore. I dont think someone should care what others think of them. But I guess it is human nature!! But I am starting to not care anymore and that is also a big problem of this relationship!
whichwayisup Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 She's obviously having fun with it and sadly feels the need to have that ego boost by having people rate her. She's acting immature though and honestly, what are YOU getting out of this relationship? Take the time, back off of her (meaning just stop calling/emailing/IM'ing with her) and decide if she's what you want. Think about ending it with her.
Author waitingwaitingonyou Posted June 12, 2007 Author Posted June 12, 2007 way to immature for me. I cant deal with things like that. We are both 28 years old. That was like cool when I was 17. I dont do that stuff anymore and I dont understand why she would either!
GodofNietzsche Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Dude, hate to tell you this, but facebook is for college kids. Even though its open to everyone else, it's for college kids.
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