Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her? Rob: You don't call. Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her. Rob: Right. Mike: So I don't call either way? Rob: Right. Mike: So what's the difference? Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back. Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her? Rob: Right. Mike: Well that sucks. Rob: Yeah, it sucks. Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her? Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite. Mike: What do you mean? Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her. Mike: Well what if she comes back first? Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget. Mike: There's the rub. Rob: There's the rub. Recognize this, peeps? Why do they always come back, the very second you literally forgot to think about them?? This happens to me every time. Every single g'damn time. When the relationship is over and I'm officially over them, they come crawling back. I'm infuriated and gloating at the same time! Who hasn't experienced this at least once? The above scene in "Swingers" is this exact subject. For guys, she doesn't call until you ACTUALLY stop waiting for her to call - not pretending you've stopped waiting, not convincing yourself that you've stopped waiting... it's ONLY when you've ACTUALLY STOPPED WAITING for real. This is no coincidence, and it happens with guys too. Once a gal has literally forgotten to even care about a guy not calling, whaddyaknow, the phone rings. How do they KNOW that you've slipped away?? It's the vibe we let out, even transcontinentally. It's what my friends and I call "the inner glow." I believe this goes along with the reason why when it rains, it pours. Ever find yourself single for what seems like forever, and then you find that one person likes you and then BAM! so does everybody else?? Yeah, I don't think it's a coincidence. You're glowing like an SOB. People can FEEL confidence. They are attracted to independence. When you aren't looking, you find the one, right? It's annoying how true this is. "I know by now that you'll arrive by the time I stop waiting" -Bjork. It's all about the glow. A-holes like that glow, but when you fall for an a-hole, you lose your glow, they get bored, and it's not until you're long gone does the glow come back and they come floating towards you like a bug to a zapper in the middle of August. FF is L-A-M-E.
sb129 Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 I love Bjork, and I loved Swingers. But the only thing going thru my head (which is NOT representative of my music taste) is "its just too little too late, something something I can't waaa-iii-it" by JoJo. (see I can't remember all the words, so I am not a proper fan of JoJO and besides I am old enough to be her mother) SG.... yes FF is a lame-o. Onwards and upwards!!!
Trialbyfire Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Hahaha...love the bug zapper reference. You have seen the ones that look like tennis racquets, haven't you? Think of all the things you can do with one, styled in this manner. Want to watch FF dance? Have a game of tennis with his body parts.
Krytellan Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 FF is L-A-M-E. *hugs* Don't stop forgetting about him
Author Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 *hugs* Don't stop forgetting about him Thanks, Krytie. I'm trying to forget about the entire experience. I don't want to be fearful, but vulnerability is pretty damn terrifying. The experience did teach me something though - being with him allowed me to vulnerable once again. It had been years since I'd been willing to be so open....it was like I had forgotten how. *Sigh* Anyway. On to better things!!
tanbark813 Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 w3rd. I've only had one ex who I never heard from out of the blue after we broke up. It almost always happens the way you--and Swingers--describe. "No, baby, she was smiling at how money I was." Love that movie.
Author Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 "No, baby, she was smiling at how money I was." Love that movie. "All I do is stare at their mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a sweetheart."
tanbark813 Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 "All I do is stare at their mouths and wrinkle my nose, and I turn out to be a sweetheart." "You take yourself outta the game. You start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream, of course it's gonna end up on the friendship tip."
Author Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 "You take yourself outta the game. You start talking about puppy dogs and ice cream, of course it's gonna end up on the friendship tip." "There's nothing wrong with letting the girls know that you're money and that you want to party."
Author Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 WTF? Update with background: Okay, so against my better judgment, earlier last week I sent FF a message via MySpace that generally and politely said, "I'm disappointed, but oh well, time to move on" kinda thing...I largely followed Johan's advice. It was longer than that, obviously, but I needed to send it for my own sense of closure. Over the next few days, I'd check my Sent box - you can see if they've read it or not - and he still hadn't read it. I just forgot about it. Earlier this morning, I saw I had a voicemail from him...that's what prompted this thread. However, I found the tone and content of his message a little odd given my MySpace message to him - he sounded, well, a little clueless. Wants to get together, misses me, blah blah blah. So, I went and checked the MySpace message, and he STILL hadn't read it yet. He called on his own, without prompting from me. Again, it's still like he had ESP - he didn't KNOW for a fact I was done with it, he just somehow must have had that gut feeling. So, just now he responds to that MySpace message - like he's traumatized. Calls. Texts. Emails. Hits me from all angles. Oh so apologetic... he's been oh so busy... he's soooo sad... Yeah right. And I don't care, Mr. Lame FF. Most likely he got busy playing around with some little hoochie who blew him off... But even if his excuses were true, HOW EFFING HARD would it have been to PICK UP THE G-DAMN PHONE and CALL me to say this?!?!? It takes virtually NO effort to make a stupid phone call. /rant.
Pyro Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 WTF? Update with background: Okay, so against my better judgment, earlier last week I sent FF a message via MySpace that generally and politely said, "I'm disappointed, but oh well, time to move on" kinda thing...I largely followed Johan's advice. It was longer than that, obviously, but I needed to send it for my own sense of closure. Over the next few days, I'd check my Sent box - you can see if they've read it or not - and he still hadn't read it. I just forgot about it. Earlier this morning, I saw I had a voicemail from him...that's what prompted this thread. However, I found the tone and content of his message a little odd given my MySpace message to him - he sounded, well, a little clueless. Wants to get together, misses me, blah blah blah. So, I went and checked the MySpace message, and he STILL hadn't read it yet. He called on his own, without prompting from me. Again, it's still like he had ESP - he didn't KNOW for a fact I was done with it, he just somehow must have had that gut feeling. So, just now he responds to that MySpace message - like he's traumatized. Calls. Texts. Emails. Hits me from all angles. Oh so apologetic... he's been oh so busy... he's soooo sad... Yeah right. And I don't care, Mr. Lame FF. Most likely he got busy playing around with some little hoochie who blew him off... But even if his excuses were true, HOW EFFING HARD would it have been to PICK UP THE G-DAMN PHONE and CALL me to say this?!?!? It takes virtually NO effort to make a stupid phone call. /rant. He wants what he can't have anymore, simple as that. Before when you kept initiating contact, you gave him the belief that he had you on a leash. Good for you for letting him know whats up.
Author Star Gazer Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 He wants what he can't have anymore, simple as that. Before when you kept initiating contact, you gave him the belief that he had you on a leash. Good for you for letting him know whats up. Yeah, he kinda did have me on a leash. I can't help it. When I'm into a guy, I'm into him. I don't know how to play lame games. Your avatar is bugging me for obvious reasons, Rid.
Pyro Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Yeah, he kinda did have me on a leash. I can't help it. When I'm into a guy, I'm into him. I don't know how to play lame games. Your avatar is bugging me for obvious reasons, Rid. It has happened to the best of us, so its all good. He wants to play games? Let him find some worthless gal that will put up with it. Sorry about that, but its my thing.:cool:
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