WhiteKnight Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Hey everyone Well I have to say that this has been awhile since I've had an issue come in my life lately. I just wanted to say that this has been a huge turn around in my life and here's my story. Well sometime after September 2006, I had met a new girlfriend after trying to move on from the terrible fiasco I had with my ex-gf (who was my fiancee who is married to her real husband currently...) for nearly 12 months. My new girlfriend and I have move along with a few bumps and bruises along the way and I had cut all ties with my ex-gf on December 2006 and moved on with life without her. After March 2007, I had re-established ties with my ex-gf with the support motivation of my current partner that she did not mind my ex and myself get along as good friends. Therefore, I just unblocked my ex-gf from my chat programs and yet just deleted her from the list so I can't see what she has for her status etc. And let her try to prove herself and fixed the friendship despite I had betrayed her trust before sometime in mid 2006 by revealing to the husband about how she trying to cheat online with another person. However anyways... Mrs V, got frustrated about getting my mobile (cell) phone contact details from me when I had ignore her request in a conversation and she hadn't asked me since. As I knew my ex-gf wanted only and online friendship, where all of a sudden she just wanted to keep in touch with me with my real contacts details which I found awkward and suspected that she was onto something, so buy following my gut instinct that she was contradicting herself and I just maintained an online friendship without saying about seeing her again. Anyhow... I'm just rather glad that story is over now and I can put the past behind me and move on with life. Well now, my main concern is now the relationship I have at the moment. The problems with Mrs V and I are okay, so that's not the issue. The issue is now that my current partner from Hong Kong is about to finish her University studies, I'm proud of her and she is graduating this year sometime soon. I am feeling a bit sad at the moment in a sense that I know she is leaving sometime in July, which I'll would feel very much alone. My partner is doing her best to apply for a VISA of some kind, whether its a working or permanent residency visa so she can stay here and be with me. Unfortunately with as the situation as it is, my girlfriend and I had consulted with each other that I would not mind she would go back to Hong Kong and I will collect her later on. However, I feel that there is a certain strain on the relationship that I would miss her dearly. I raised it with her and she was aware of this as well, so she influenced me with the best comforting advice to try the Distance Relationship thing... until she comes back to where I live if the VISA works out and her getting a job is another thing. The issue I'm dealing with now is that I'm stressed about it, feeling very depressed inside at the same time because I would feel that I'm losing her for a period of time and I know I'm not good with the whole Distance Relationship thing, and to make it worse... she is very far away from me. I am doing the best I can to remain strong and loyal to her, its just very hard for me to handle this. Any advice?
midlife2 Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 Wow, well it kinda sounds like your hands are tied in this whole situation. Theres nothing worse then not being able to control a situation and this is one of them. Does she know you don't think you can handle a long distance relationship? What about your options of going to Hong Kong with her if she can't stay ? Do you love her enough to move to a foreign land? As for your ex, I kinda had a hard time understanding some of it but from what I could understand I had to ask myself why in the world are you even dealing with her???? Tooooo many head games and life is hard enough on us that if we can remove some of that stress....DO IT!!!
Author WhiteKnight Posted June 12, 2007 Author Posted June 12, 2007 Well the ex-gf situation midlife2 was very hard, trust me. It just caused me more grey hairs and what I end up doing was for the best in a sense, if my ex-gf wanted a friendship with me and in fact she did, I just went "meh" fair enough and just deleted her off from any of my chat programs and let her initiate the conversation with me if she really wants to be my friend that is. I honestly don't care if she wants a friendship or not, she doesn't have access to my blog and none of her friends do as well. But I don't care what she does anymore, honestly if she wants to whine like a biatch... I'll let her do it on someone else because I told her outright that I don't want anymore of that. Besides, I'm more likely letting the friendship heal and let it go as that for many years, and I don't have time to worry about her. Any emotions that she has, I just forget or ignore it very harshly. As for my current partner... to answer your questions... Does she know you don't think you can handle a long distance relationship? Short Answer, yes she is aware of it but she asked me to be strong enough for her. I did say to her I'm going to try despite finding this in terms quite hard to coupe with it. What about your options of going to Hong Kong with her if she can't stay ? Do you love her enough to move to a foreign land? The options of me going to Hong Kong at this stage is something that can't be done right now because of my own University obligations and I still have a year or so before I graduate. I have been thinking of going to see her during the holidays instead, at least I will be able to see her now and then. However as for the second part of the question... I don't know because of the VISA issues and I need to find a job etc.. but there is a strong part of me that knows better as in my partner did say she would come and live here with me.
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