believinZ Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I don't blame you for wanting the confrontation. I had two confrontations. One by myself and one that included the ex. As I said, it was worth it's price in gold. Note price not weight, which I won't explain... If it was Groundhog day, I would redo those two confrontations over and over again, it was that worthwhile for me. I will not allow anyone to get away unscathed. wow... you have wonderful way with wording. I am guessing that the price has a more personal price tag on it, but apparently it was still worth it. I think I understand perfectly. Part of my anger is that I feel I have let ppl of the hood and I am not pleased with this fact. I dont think it is really fair that I deal with these emotions, dreams, thoughts, pain etc. yet so many have gone unscathed. It is not my nature to let anyone hurt those I love... they don't go unscathed... SO, why have I allowed it to be okay to hurt me... I really need to be stronger an more protective of me. So, thank you so much for your words of wisdom.
believinZ Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Can you get her address and sign her up for all kinds of religious tracts and newsletters? Sic the Jehovah's Witnesses on her? Sounds like she might need her soul saved... HAHAHAHA... can you do that... please tell me how... this would be fantastic!
shellys-trying Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Not many skanks get the fear of God, no matter what you do. LOL
believinZ Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Thanx for your input everyone. I didn't call her last night, but I did dream about it. Our conversation went something like this: (ring ring) OW: "Hello?" Me: "OW's name, this is Melissa277" ... long pause OW: "What the F*ck do you want?" Me: "I just want to know ..." and then I couldn't think of one thing to say to her. Then I woke up. Pretty bizarre huh? I have all these things I want to say to that ho bag, but not one thing would come out of my mouth. Why? Also, H doesn't want me to call her. He says he's afraid she'll find out where we are and start up again. I think he just doesn't want her telling me that he was as into "it" as she was. You know he claims she was practically blackmailing him into their A. I feel like she got off easy ... having never heard a word from me and it's making me crazy (crazier?). Melissa Oh yes Melissa... I totally understand this feeling of getting crazy mad for not making her hear what we as the betrayed wife has to say... I really think all OW (those who enter into this A willingly) should have to sit in a room... tied up, duct tape over mouth and listen to everything and anything we want to say... and this should go on for a very long time in case we forget something and it pops into our heads... it is our right ... we did not ask for this person to be in our lives... we did not ask for their silent visits into our dreams and most intimate of thoughts... we did NOT ask for any of this yet we are suppose to quietly sit back, forgive, move on and hope for the honesty to begin... really? How does that work?
Darth Vader Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 Well, about a month after D-Day I tried to call the OW. She hung up on me. (and this was after she'd been placing crank calls to MY house for 6 months -- which continued on for another YEAR!!) I've strongly considered calling her still, but she lives in a different state, I only know where she works, not her address or phone number, so that's probably not gonna happen. Who knows, karma may lead us to meet someday. . . and as everyone knows, karma is a Bitch!! Easy, reverse search on the computer, type in phone number, and up pops the address, OOPS! I shouldn't have told you!
shellys-trying Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I done know where the xOW lives, yeah, even after 6 yrs. You know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer? This woman, until or if she changes her attitude and/or lifestyle will always be the enemy. I'd pretty much say she ain't got many friends. And the comment from BelievinZ: I really think all OW (those who enter into this A willingly) should have to sit in a room... tied up, duct tape over mouth and listen to everything and anything we want to say... and this should go on for a very long time in case we forget something and it pops into our heads... it is our right ... OMG! Too funny. I got a good visual of the xOW like that and I can't even remember what she looks like now. LOL
smartgirl Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I'll just say again that I don't think it is a good idea to contact her. Let sleeping dogs lie. If she starts harassing you, that is another thing. I fantasize about it everyday, I admit that. But in my case, it would just make the OW feel good that I am still suffering. She doesn't care at all that I was hurt. She sees that as my H's responsibility, not hers. I haven't called her H to tell him - why make another innocent person suffer. I wouldn't put anyone through what I have gone through. Besides, I don't really want to risk getting my H shot or having him or her show up and make a scene in front of the kids. I also feel like she is walking away scott free. Our therapist said that is not really true. He said she comes into work everyday knowing that he picked you and wants nothing to do with her. She has to go back to her sad marriage which is not being fixed because the H doesn't even know what was wrong. And the thought that we are moving on in our lives and don't think about her is probably really making her crazy. I know it isn't as cathartic as a show down, but if you think about it, the revenge is actually much sweeter.
silktricks Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Easy, reverse search on the computer, type in phone number, and up pops the address, OOPS! I shouldn't have told you! You'll note, I have neither phone number or address, only her place of employment. But the reality is that I wouldn't call anyway, it would be like inviting Satan into my life.
Author Melissa277 Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 But the reality is that I wouldn't call anyway, it would be like inviting Satan into my life. Yeah, I kinda feel that way too. But G*d d&amn it sure is tempting.
mopar crazy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Thanx for your input everyone. I didn't call her last night, but I did dream about it. Our conversation went something like this: (ring ring) OW: "Hello?" Me: "OW's name, this is Melissa277" ... long pause OW: "What the F*ck do you want?" Me: "I just want to know ..." and then I couldn't think of one thing to say to her. Then I woke up. Pretty bizarre huh? I have all these things I want to say to that ho bag, but not one thing would come out of my mouth. Why? Also, H doesn't want me to call her. He says he's afraid she'll find out where we are and start up again. I think he just doesn't want her telling me that he was as into "it" as she was. You know he claims she was practically blackmailing him into their A. I feel like she got off easy ... having never heard a word from me and it's making me crazy (crazier?). Melissa I'm not very good at interpreting dreams, I have to ask other ppl what they mean but I'll give it a shot. Seems to me that you feel a little worried that she will immediately rip your head off if you call. And when she does, you wont know what to say, hence why your dream ended. I could be way off on that though. I don't blame you for calling her but like I agree, she may think she has something over you if you do it. That it must be really bothering you and so you are calling. However, if it's something you must do for yourself make sure you use a payphone. Do you have a calling card? When my MIL use to call us on hers it would come up w/ on our caller ID from a different state. I think it was the calling card company or something. I don't know if it works like that still. Do you have *69 (or is it *67?) in your area? It blocks the call and comes up usually private or blocked on caller ID. Even though H's skank knew our home # I still dialed *69 b/c I figured she probably wouldn't answer if she seen the # (H and I were separated so she would know it wasn't him). If you do decide to call her just be careful. You don't want her to know where you are calling from. She may try to push herself into your lives again. When I thought I had forgiven the OW for her part in the A I posted and asked if I should call, or write her a letter to tell her I forgave her for her part in the A. I was told NOT to do that b/c she could try to weasel her way back into our lives again. I did not want that. If you decide to call post a new thread that you did. I'm curious of what she will say.
mopar crazy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 C'mon, your're kidding right? She couldn't think of anything else off topic to say other than "My chicken just laid it's first egg?" She sounds like a wacko. LOL! Nope, not kidding. I don't know if her H walked into the house and showed her the egg or what. And if so that was probably an excuse to stop talking about the A. She was/is a wacko!
Author Melissa277 Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 I don't know if her H walked into the house and showed her the egg or what. I wish you could see how hard I'm laughing!:laugh:
mopar crazy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I wish you could see how hard I'm laughing!:laugh: I wish I could too b/c you need to laugh! After what you've been through you deserve to laugh and I'm glad I did that for you. Omgosh this woman was a freaking wack job! I mean she even started talking about some land near her for a real cheap price. She wanted to pasture her horse there as it was at her H's parents. She knew I loved horses so I think this was one of her ways to get me off her back.
shellys-trying Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I'll just say again that I don't think it is a good idea to contact her. Let sleeping dogs lie. If she starts harassing you, that is another thing. I fantasize about it everyday, I admit that. But in my case, it would just make the OW feel good that I am still suffering. She doesn't care at all that I was hurt. She sees that as my H's responsibility, not hers. I haven't called her H to tell him - why make another innocent person suffer. I wouldn't put anyone through what I have gone through. Besides, I don't really want to risk getting my H shot or having him or her show up and make a scene in front of the kids. I also feel like she is walking away scott free. Our therapist said that is not really true. He said she comes into work everyday knowing that he picked you and wants nothing to do with her. She has to go back to her sad marriage which is not being fixed because the H doesn't even know what was wrong. And the thought that we are moving on in our lives and don't think about her is probably really making her crazy. I know it isn't as cathartic as a show down, but if you think about it, the revenge is actually much sweeter. this is good advice too. sounds like the xOW isn't living the good life. That may be how she reaps what she's sewn.
shellys-trying Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I wish I could too b/c you need to laugh! After what you've been through you deserve to laugh and I'm glad I did that for you. Omgosh this woman was a freaking wack job! I mean she even started talking about some land near her for a real cheap price. She wanted to pasture her horse there as it was at her H's parents. She knew I loved horses so I think this was one of her ways to get me off her back. Lol, MC, she does sound wacko! I'd be glad she lives far enough away where you don't have to worry about her freaky a** lurking around somewhere, ready to tell you about her eggs! ROTFLMAO
mopar crazy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Lol, MC, she does sound wacko! I'd be glad she lives far enough away where you don't have to worry about her freaky a** lurking around somewhere, ready to tell you about her eggs! ROTFLMAO LMAO!!! Yea, I couldn't imagine what she would be up to if we still lived down there. Honestly, I don't think she would of let go of H. I think even though she started dating another guy she would have been the same flirtacious bitch she has always been. And I bet ya she would of still tried talking to me when I walked in to see H at work. My gosh just thinking about it makes me TG I'm not there anymore! Bad thing was, it was a nice town, but it had one problem, she was there and that was enough to make me not want to be there anymore.
believinZ Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I done know where the xOW lives, yeah, even after 6 yrs. You know, keep your friends close and your enemies closer? This woman, until or if she changes her attitude and/or lifestyle will always be the enemy. I'd pretty much say she ain't got many friends. And the comment from BelievinZ: I really think all OW (those who enter into this A willingly) should have to sit in a room... tied up, duct tape over mouth and listen to everything and anything we want to say... and this should go on for a very long time in case we forget something and it pops into our heads... it is our right ... OMG! Too funny. I got a good visual of the xOW like that and I can't even remember what she looks like now. LOL :-) glad I could make someone laugh! Laughing helps eh *wink*
mopar crazy Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 I really think all OW (those who enter into this A willingly) should have to sit in a room... tied up, duct tape over mouth and listen to everything and anything we want to say... and this should go on for a very long time in case we forget something and it pops into our heads... it is our right ... LOL! I agree! But this wouldn't work well w/ H's xOW. I could tell she would be smiling from ear to ear having me rag on her @ss. She would know it was bothering the hell out of me and in her sick, f@cked up mind, she would think it was funny I was so hurt and angry for something she was part of. Damn I can't stand that woman! Whore or not!
shellys-trying Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 The one sounds like some kind of freak who would like a BW telling her what a whore she is. Big oddball. I think she just likes making people feel worse than her. She's probably a very miserable person to enjoy a BW's pain and anger.
silktricks Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Easy, reverse search on the computer, type in phone number, and up pops the address, OOPS! I shouldn't have told you! You'll note, I have neither phone number or address, only her place of employment. But the reality is that I wouldn't call anyway, it would be like inviting Satan into my life.
Author Melissa277 Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 I'm not very good at interpreting dreams, I have to ask other ppl what they mean but I'll give it a shot. Seems to me that you feel a little worried that she will immediately rip your head off if you call. And when she does, you wont know what to say, hence why your dream ended. I could be way off on that though. I don't blame you for calling her but like I agree, she may think she has something over you if you do it. That it must be really bothering you and so you are calling. However, if it's something you must do for yourself make sure you use a payphone. Do you have a calling card? When my MIL use to call us on hers it would come up w/ on our caller ID from a different state. I think it was the calling card company or something. I don't know if it works like that still. Do you have *69 (or is it *67?) in your area? It blocks the call and comes up usually private or blocked on caller ID. Even though H's skank knew our home # I still dialed *69 b/c I figured she probably wouldn't answer if she seen the # (H and I were separated so she would know it wasn't him). If you do decide to call her just be careful. You don't want her to know where you are calling from. She may try to push herself into your lives again. When I thought I had forgiven the OW for her part in the A I posted and asked if I should call, or write her a letter to tell her I forgave her for her part in the A. I was told NOT to do that b/c she could try to weasel her way back into our lives again. I did not want that. If you decide to call post a new thread that you did. I'm curious of what she will say. You maybe right MC, but the things I want to say to her could get me arrested and ain't no way I'm gonna let that happen. I've decided I'm not gonna call her. F*ck her and the horse she rode in on. I figure if she's any kind of human being, she's torturing herself anyway. May she rot in hell.
Author Melissa277 Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 I wish I could too b/c you need to laugh! After what you've been through you deserve to laugh and I'm glad I did that for you. Omgosh this woman was a freaking wack job! I mean she even started talking about some land near her for a real cheap price. She wanted to pasture her horse there as it was at her H's parents. She knew I loved horses so I think this was one of her ways to get me off her back. I don't know how old you are, but do you remember a song from back in the day about insanity called "They're Coming To Take Me Away Ha Ha?" She sounds like the poster child for that song. Good God.
Author Melissa277 Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 Oh yes Melissa... I totally understand this feeling of getting crazy mad for not making her hear what we as the betrayed wife has to say... I really think all OW (those who enter into this A willingly) should have to sit in a room... tied up, duct tape over mouth and listen to everything and anything we want to say... and this should go on for a very long time in case we forget something and it pops into our heads... it is our right ... we did not ask for this person to be in our lives... we did not ask for their silent visits into our dreams and most intimate of thoughts... we did NOT ask for any of this yet we are suppose to quietly sit back, forgive, move on and hope for the honesty to begin... really? How does that work? Can we pee and poop on them when they are in this room?
shellys-trying Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 As wack as most whores are, they'd probably like it. LOL
Melovator Posted June 14, 2007 Posted June 14, 2007 Thanks for putting this post up- you can read my other posts for my situation which has changed in that I'm not sleeping with him anymore and I'm trying really hard to figure out how I fall out of love with him. I've been thinking about sending the OW an email but don't want her to think she's won anything. SO anyway if I jot some notes down could I get some literary criticism? I'm not sure it would be healthy to send but maybe just writing it down might help. Here goes: Dear OW, I'm using this email this one time and then forgetting I know it. I wish you luck in your life because I think you're going to need that or serious psychological counselling. I have tried to understand how you could play your part in this farce and have tried to put myself in your shoes. I tried because even to think about playing your role makes me sick to my stomach. To have such little self respect must be a hard thing and I guess when you don't respect yourself you can't respect others. I know that you have a desperate yearning for a child. One day if you ever have a child, about three-four months in, when you're sleep deprived and exhausted and unable to stop yourself from crying because you don't understand what the hell has happened to your life, because you love your child but you are not the same person and don't know who you are. I want you to look at that child and I want you to think about my son, then I want you to put yourself in my shoes and think about how you enabled the destruction of a family that never got a chance to know itself as such. I wouldn't wish what has happened to me and my son on anyone, even you, and that's how come I CAN look myself in the mirror and feel self-respect. I hope some day you recover yours or get some if you've never had any. HAve a nice life, Melovator. Thoughts? Comments?
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