funkybassplayer Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 The other day i called my ex to say hi, i have kept contact to a minimum at her request due to the fact that she has (after a week of our breakup) found a new fella and has all but moved in.Its been 7 weeks today since we split, I miss her and the kids so much, and wanted to say hi. She was cool to talk to me, but i told her i never felt jelous, (which is true) and am slowly moving on and had a couple of one nights and a couple of dates lined up.I also said that i was hurt over the way i was treated, and that i feel that if two people want to stay in touch that should be our desition and not his, but i guess it really dosnt make any difference to her it seems to me that she is so wrapped up in the new relationship, that all else seems to not matter to her. In my head i think that this girl will always be trouble in one way or another to her partner, and although she loved me to bits, she was always questioning my love and in the end, i think that she never thought i was truly in love with her which i was. Ok i now and again glanced at a passing girl, but i always gave her hugs, suppoort and kisses and was always there for her no matter what. i did say that i missed them all so much, and wish i was allowed to say hi to the kids now and agian, but in my heart i know that as she has a new chap, this is not possible he has taken my place and as he is round the corner from her, has all but moved in. (i was 150 miles away and spent 3 dats a week there ) I really hurt over all this, she was the one that wanted frienship and said i could be part of the kids life, and i agreed to it, but now the new chap has come along, at her request, i cant be intouch with the kids i love. i loved the life i had with them, but it was hard. ie family problems her issues (she was very insecure) and a couple of my own. ( i would not sell up my house and move there as she would not divorce her hubby) I feel i may have come over as being a prat! she says that he is jelous of me, and she will contact me, and i said plaese tell me if you prefer to cut contact altogether as i dont want to be hoping for a call etc, and i feel that she should be honest with what she wants, but never said she does. But i feel so angry at the fact that she wanted me there and it seems, till she found a new chap, thats how it seems to me. I know now i have to walk away but i feel i would like to say my true feelings to her, but i feel in time maybe, we could be friends, ( i would like to say hi to the kids) and wouldnt want to mess that chance up. I think because it all happened so fast (the breakup and the new chap) I didnt get the chance to say goodbye to them, or had the chance to get my head around the breakup let alone anything else. I feel she has been so hard to me, without a care for my feelings, and i cant belive how fast she has moved on! When she first told me she was seeing a new guy, i was ok with it, and said that i was pleased for her, ( i was) i was happy to be mates as the relationship was more hard than fun. but as time has moved on i feel that im really missing them all, and i wish i had just walked away when i wanted to on the day of our breakup. We kissed on the lips and it was a lovely day. But now i have many bitter feelings over the frienship idea (hers) and i just want her to remember me as the man i was in the relationship, and not this guy whos missing them all and wanting to chat with her etc. i feel that i have had alot of my self respect taken from me over this. We still have to have a little contact in the future as there are things that need to be sorted (money) but this can be done by email. I have a feeling that this new relationship is moving very fast and from what i can gather, there is a trust question on both parts, but that is now not my concern, and i have too in my own mind cut any contact from now. Its just i feel i have lost respect in her eyes, and that to me is crap. i wish i can do something to put that right. i guess that we all do things that are out of carecter when we are in emotional termiol, so i guess i shouldnt be too hard on myself!
passionpeach Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 It looks like the answers are already right in front of you. Your ex is already with another man and keeping contact with her only hurts you all the more. What I suggest is that you give yourself time to move on. Cut your connection temporarily. Once you are healed then you can go ahead and make friends with her again. That way, neither of you will be hurt. Love yourself and be brave. Cry if it's needed but do not soak yourself in tears and get stuck on your past. As I always say... Memories are good but that is all they are.
trent25 Posted June 13, 2007 Posted June 13, 2007 Its just i feel i have lost respect in her eyes, and that to me is crap. i wish i can do something to put that right. i guess that we all do things that are out of carecter when we are in emotional termiol, so i guess i shouldnt be too hard on myself! How about telling her to screw off and get that respect back. Why are you attached to the kids? Are they yours? It is time for self preservation. Those kids belong to a woman who is heartless, cruel, and cold blooded. One week? Come on. Mine took two weeks. Forget this selfish piece of scam artist and move on. Do not contact. When she contacts you say "Listen sweetheart, you really need to get over me. I know its hard since I am the greatest thing to happen to you since the microwave but you really have to move on. Its best that you don't think of me when you are with your new man. Its not fair to him". You get respect back by slapping her in the face with "i don't give a rat's ass".
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 13, 2007 Author Posted June 13, 2007 trent that was funny! I posted part ofher stuff back the other day with a note saying miss you all, if you want to get in touch you know where i am. Then today i sent the rest back with no note. So i hope that this looks a bit stronger!! It felt that i took a little control back as she wont need to ask for the gear, and im not waiting for her to, shes got it all, without fuss.
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