princess75 Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 My husband filed for divorce 1 week ago, did not tell me anything...I found it on my own when he was telling me he feels depressed and tired... and I found it out on my own and confronted him...then not talked to him...I now live on my own place. Now, this weekend was our anniversary and we spent time together ...we didn't "celebrate" it, but we...basically spent time together...hang out...and the whole package. He states he loves me...when asked to work on the marriage however he goes back to ..blaming and not forgiving issues (NOTHING REALLY BIG HAS HAPPENED BETWEEN US, we are married 1year now.) Can anyone tell me if there is still a chance? I have clearly stated what I would like ...should I be around? Call him every day? Should I call it quits....WHAT IS GOING ON? Does he just want out and then wants his cake too? I mean, by what he says he clearly wants out, and just spending time pass...but then, how to know if we still hold a chance? Any ideas? Any suggestions? I really would like to revert the situation and be 2GETHER 4EVER!
Tony T Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 If your husband filed for divorce without discussing it with you...without talking about the problems of the marriage...without working on trying to save the relationship...he simply doesn't want to be married. If there is no communication between the two of you, or if it's extremely poor, how could you possibly get things back together? You sound like you still love this man a lot but it takes a whole lot more than love to make a good marriage. Back off, don't press him on anything. Avoid the subject of your marriage entirely. The more you jab him with this or that about the marriage, the more he will want to be away from it. If you REALLY want to get him back, although it's unfortunate that you would have to do it this way, start dating other people...or just let him think you are doing so. That most probably will drive him out of his mind. It sounds to me, however, like this has not been much of a marriage...that he was not ready for a union and still isn't. He sounds very immature. It could be that you should cut your losses short and move on. Yes, it will hurt and you will have some difficult days. But in the long run, you will be a lot better off freeing yourself to find someone who will have a strong desire to be with you long term. I just don't see how you could possibly ever feel secure with a man who files for divorce behind your back and without consulting you. That is the sign of a real jerk.
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