funkybassplayer Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 I so much miss my ex and her 3 kids. We finished about 7 weeks ago, shes 35 im 41, and within a week, she got into another relationship and he has (from what i understand) all but moved in five weeks later! . She was always a little inscure and had a few financial issues. I wanted to help her through all this.We were together a year and it was a long distance, but i spent 3 days a week with her and the family i did find her and the relationship hard work, but loved her. she wanted to relive her youth from what i could see and i wanted the family thing with her, and she wouldnt divorce her hubby, which i felt that had to be done to move forward. I have made little contact with her since the new chap came along, only to sort out owed money and stuff. I was slowely getting back to normal, but thought id call to say hi. She was nice to me as always, and i told her i am slowly moving on with a couple of dates lined up, but i miss them all very much. and still have all the feelings for them all. I must have come over as being very confused. She was understanding to this but thats was it. |She was always a bit selfish, but i thoght she would always let me say hi to the kids after being such a big part of there lives. i feel that i have so much love to give to them all still She said that the new guy doent like me in contact so its best to leave it to her to call me. Of course i know this is not good, and anyway do i want to be a friend? Well maybe for the kids. I so much want to let go, but finding it so hard to, i miss the life and them. and find myself getting upset at silly times (at gigs etc) Im a bassplayer as a job. any one got any ideas as how to let go? Im getting scared as i feel now as bad as day one.! i would like to send a final email to say how i feel to her, and then go, but am worried that at a later date when i may be able to be true friends, that could be a bad move. I feel that i never got the time to winde down with her and the kids, as a new fella came so fast. I did want to walk away after we kissed on the lips to say goodbye, but she insisted to stay freinds, and as she got very upset, i agreed. It all seemed to have back fired in my face, as friends is now not an option, and the promises of being able to see the kids, has all but been a lie to keep me there untill new chap turns up! i feel used bitter and hurt, but i miss them all like mad! Thanks guys.
passionpeach Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 I think the best thing that you can do right now is start to get busy with other things so that your attention will be diverted from the life you had before. It will not be an easy step for you but you must start thinking about yourself and move on. Try another sport or a new hobby or just load up your day with lots of activities. Try to not sulk in the memories that you had with your ex. Memories are good... but that is all they are.
Author funkybassplayer Posted June 11, 2007 Author Posted June 11, 2007 i know thats what i have to do, and i have been doing what i can, but finding it really hard to get motivation. But i have been in the gym, lost a stone and a half and look better than i have done for ages, but im short tempered, and feel stressed and sad alot of the time, and sometimes i have hours where i think that im out of it and had an escape, and others i think if she only gave me a little more time to get to know them all and stuff. I dont think a year is that long when your getting to know 3 kids as well, and coping with day to day problems that familys have, and her own issues and stress, and its not your family. I dont know if its her i miss the life, or the kids, or maybe all of it, or if its just that i have so much time now where as before i had very little. But for one thing i am not jelous of her new guy, i can honestly say that, nor do i think of them together much at all! I did tell her i never felt jelous and she went a little quite on the phone.I guess im a little surprised at myself a little i guess for feeling like i do. if someone has any ideas why im not jelous when i clearly should be that would be good to hear. Maybe its the thought that i will never see any of the family that i love again (or so it seems) but life can throw strange twists. I guess the word to sum me up at the moment is empty. Im finding it hard not too caontact her, and her new fella is also in contact with his ex, but i want to do whats right for her, and not get in the way and so far i have contacted her only regarding possetions.
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