mike5770 Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 I had a huge crush on this woman I rode the bus with from April of 2005 to present ongoing. I started with very small talk and it progressed over a period of almost 2 years to me hanging out with her and her friends drinking on Friday nights. She showed signs of interest in my opinion...laughing at all of my antics and jokes (trust me i am not that funny) and touching a lot in the bar. She was engaged and I was always told to wait until the relationship ends to make my move. So I kept it playtonic and light and funny. Well much to my dismay there was another guy who she works with waiting in the bar and said he was "Just a friend...I give her rides home man..I respect the ring....BLAH BLAH BLAH." Well about a month ago she started becoming M.I.A from the bus..then 2 weeks ..then 3 weeks..nothing...I go to the usual bar she frequents and 2 fridays ago her best friend was there and told me she and the fioncee split. Needles to say I was fired up! So I go to the bar last Friday and I see her come in with ride boy arm in arm!!! I WAS CRUSHED!!!! Now here is why I am writing this...because THIS IS WHAT NOT TO DO IN THIS SITUATION!! I STARTED DOING MULTIPLE SHOTS WITH HER AND HER FRIENDS ACTING LIKE NOTHING WAS WRONG AND HAD TO USE THE GOLDSHLAGER...DO NOT DRINK GOLDSHLAGER WHEN YOU ARE PISSED OFF...SO AFTER A WHILE I STARTED GETTING REALLY MAD SAYING MEAN THINGS..I DROVE THE BOYFRIEND AND HER FRIENDS OUT OF THE BAR TO THE PATIO...MY REJECTOR CAME OUT OF THE BATHROOM AND ASKED.."WHERE DID (NEW BOYFRIEND GO)?" ME BEING OUT OF IT AND PISSED OFF WITH NO ABILITY AT THIS POINT TO CONTROL MYSELF SAID, "MAYBE HE COMMITTED SUICIDE!" I am such a moron! This guy is the rebound guy! I should have played it cool! but I lost control because of bloody alcohol! I walk in the city hoping not to run into her as I feel terriable. I have not been to that bar since...and my only hope is a long absence and time can heal a little. If I see her should I apologize or ignore...she works right across the street in the city.. I miss just talking to her and being a friend so much! But no 2 ways about it..I REALLY SCREWED UP! SO IF YOU GET REJECTED FOR ANOTHER MAN...DRINK DIET SODAS...NOT GOLDSHLAGER AS IT COULD KILL YOU BUDDY!
Road Rage Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 mike5770 Great post! Sorry for your situation too. Well, I think you should apologize when you get the chance. The sooner the better would have been best. But, don`t sweat it. Live and learn. I can just imagine your pain. But, the odds are that guy just has something that suits her. It can really screw your mind up to be Mr Nice Guy and then have this happen. And it almost always happens to. It is the way it is. I think in life if you really have a thing for a woman it is just best to flat out give it a shot, even if she is engaged. But, anyway, that`s all water under the bridge. Hope all goes well for you from this day foward:)
WarriorPoet Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 This type of thing happens to us all at one point or another. That was to be nice, and its true. You deserve to lose this girl as a friend and espesially any chance at a relationship. You were decieptfull, dishonest and down right evil with your intents. You and everyone else shoud RESPECT THE RING. The above poster has it right, if you meet an engaged woman and get it hot for her TELL HER, first if she ever feels that way tword you she is more apt to tell you., score one, you. Second, it is the honest thing to do, two-zip, you. Third, ultimately you are respecting the ring, because you are expressing your feelings openly and allowing the woman to make the choice between you and her fiancee/husband, a choice any relationship has to be able to withstand multiple times over years of marraige/engagement. It's a shutout and a win for the visiting team. Three zip. IMO any woman worth the trouble will see that you are doin' the right thing and not start hateing you and avoiding you. She should start respecting you even more and who knows, maybe that will be the key to making her fall for YOU. If you realy want to try and apologize to this woman, there many varying schools of opinion. You could try and approch her. You do know where she works and hangs and she probably wont actually run from you if you do so. You could send flowers (though I propose, if you go this route, you go with something more original than flowers) and a card and something good and squishygoo-y on the card like you whole story or a hand picked poem, not a famous one. You could wait, give the situation some time and then go back to the bar, hang around the places she frequents more and more until you "bump into her" blah blah ect ect... It all depends on the type of chika she is. I hate guys like you, but I love'de your whole "BLAH BLAH BLAH...I RESPECT THE RING...", made me bust-up. It blows my mind that women can't see through men who are zipper diving! I used to think they could and just chose to ignore it, in actuality 90% of the time they can't (ya, a woman will eventually reply to this and say they can) Plus, you obviosly know you played this wrong and hopefully won't do it again. I spewed all this non-sense at you, and anyothers like you reading, because I recently lost my fiancee to some bad times in our relationship and a slimy ***** stain guy that played the wolf in sheeps clothes. It realy sucks to lose someone and something like a fiancee or wife(I suppose) and wether you know him/her or not they are real humans that exist and have emotions and feelings. I am sure you have heard about the Golden Rule. It's still in play, game on, lecture over. Truely sorry, for both your sit. and my lec.
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