hearmeoutx Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I am 18 years old, and I am graduating in about 5 days. He is my band director, and it was not intentional, and he has never been involved with a student before - it just happened. We started off as friends, and it just happened. We have not done anything more than kissing yet - but I have no intention of making him the man of my life. I love him so much, but he is married and he has two kids a 7 year old and a 8 month old. I am doing as much as possible to gurantee we do not get caught, because not only is his job at stake, but so is his marriage. Also this has only been going on like a day, physically. Emotionally, a few weeks.
Lizzie60 Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I am 18 years old, and I am graduating in about 5 days. He is my band director, and it was not intentional, and he has never been involved with a student before - it just happened. We started off as friends, and it just happened. We have not done anything more than kissing yet - but I have no intention of making him the man of my life. I love him so much, but he is married and he has two kids a 7 year old and a 8 month old. I am doing as much as possible to gurantee we do not get caught, because not only is his job at stake, but so is his marriage. Also this has only been going on like a day, physically. Emotionally, a few weeks. and I can understand that you don't want to make him the man of your life..but what if you fall head over heels for him?
GreenEyedLady Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I am 18 years old, and I am graduating in about 5 days. He is my band director, and it was not intentional, and he has never been involved with a student before - it just happened. We started off as friends, and it just happened. We have not done anything more than kissing yet - but I have no intention of making him the man of my life. I love him so much, but he is married and he has two kids a 7 year old and a 8 month old. I am doing as much as possible to gurantee we do not get caught, because not only is his job at stake, but so is his marriage. Also this has only been going on like a day, physically. Emotionally, a few weeks. What he is doing is UNETHICAL...he is using his position of authority to further his own selfish needs...and if he's had sex with you before your eighteenth birthday, he's also a sex offender and criminal... It didn't JUST HAPPEN...this is calculated on his part and he is using your youth and naivete to his advantage... Please tell an adult you trust about this...
Melovator Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Sweety you might be into this guy but GET AWAY NOW!! You are a young woman with your whole life ahead of you and if you're going away to study further he probably thinks he can satisfy his unethical urges- there are laws against teachers doing these things!- while you're around and then forget about you when you're gone. YOU ARE BEING USED. RUN RUN RUN. You should not have to be thinking about his kids, his marriage, his career- that's what he should be thinking about. You are only 11 years older than his eldest child- imagine being that child if everything does come out? Imagine if your dad did that to your mum (hopefully you don't have memories of such a thing in your childhood but if you do then you really need to get a grip). I know I may sound harsh but get out of town after graduation, go stay with family and friends but stay away from a loser who prays on young women- how do you really know he's never been involved with another student- start asking around and you might be surprised. Please think of yourself, you don't want to regret it for the rest of your life which is a bloody long time given how old you are. Wishing you the best.
whirlwinds_sister Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 What he is doing is UNETHICAL...he is using his position of authority to further his own selfish needs...and if he's had sex with you before your eighteenth birthday, he's also a sex offender and criminal... It didn't JUST HAPPEN...this is calculated on his part and he is using your youth and naivete to his advantage... Please tell an adult you trust about this... What GE said. This is an adult in authority over you and it is not right. I know you may read other stories here and think it is the same thing, but it is not. The people in these pages are adults who don't likely have influence or authority over one another. I don't mean this condescending, but you are a pupil and young person. A teacher should always respect that boundary or there is a very big issue with their fitness to be in authority over young people if they can not respect that boundary. Sweetie, you have to consider reporting this. The adult does not need the protection here, nor does his spouse or his career--other young women under his tutelage including yourself are who need protection from this unethical behavior. Good luck to you. I hope you will consider talking to someone about this who you trust who is an adult.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Get out now while you can, because eventually you will be caught. Wherever you go, someone is watching and you as a high school girl know how bad rumors can be. If you see two people walking to class together innocently, how many times have you heard "those two are hooking up"? Think about it. You and he are not immune to rumors. All it takes is one person who sees something, and even if it may be innocent that one person will read something into it and will be dying to tell their best friend in strictest confidence. We all know what is next: everyone in school will be talking about it. Next up, his wife will find out. He will dump you under the bus so hard your teeth rattle in order to preserve his marriage and family, then he will have to face the principal and assistant principal, then the school board, then the band boosters, members of the community, your parents, the state board of public instruction, the police (some states have laws against involvement with students regardless of age), you name it. He stands to lose big time over this. Consider yourself lucky that all you have to look forward to is heartbreak.
Herzen Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I am 18 years old, and I am graduating in about 5 days. He is my band director, and it was not intentional, and he has never been involved with a student before - it just happened. We started off as friends, and it just happened. We have not done anything more than kissing yet - but I have no intention of making him the man of my life. I love him so much, but he is married and he has two kids a 7 year old and a 8 month old. I am doing as much as possible to gurantee we do not get caught, because not only is his job at stake, but so is his marriage. Also this has only been going on like a day, physically. Emotionally, a few weeks. Your point in posting here is? What do you want? Approval? That ain't happening--not even from the LoveShack bad boys and girls of which I am one. Disapproval? You'll hear that in spades. And for good reason: your teacher is a predator. He preys on students to get his ego and co#k stroked. So you really think you're the first student plaything for this pillar of the community? Hardly, young lady. You're just another student-fu#k. When you regain your sanity, you'll move on and he'll find a replacement. Students are like tissues to this family man: use one, throw it away, use another one, and so on. As for his wife and mother of his very young kids, and his kids themselves, if they don't matter a hill of beans to him, how much do you honestly believe that you matter? Try zero--especially once you stop hooking up with him. Get out, now. Graduate from high school in every sense of the word. Otherwise, the beginning of your adult life will turn into a huge clusterfu#k.
outofdarkness Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Your point in posting here is? What do you want? Approval? That ain't happening--not even from the LoveShack bad boys and girls of which I am one. Disapproval? You'll hear that in spades. And for good reason: your teacher is a predator. He preys on students to get his ego and co#k stroked. So you really think you're the first student plaything for this pillar of the community? Hardly, young lady. You're just another student-fu#k. When you regain your sanity, you'll move on and he'll find a replacement. Students are like tissues to this family man: use one, throw it away, use another one, and so on. As for his wife and mother of his very young kids, and his kids themselves, if they don't matter a hill of beans to him, how much do you honestly believe that you matter? Try zero--especially once you stop hooking up with him. Get out, now. Graduate from high school in every sense of the word. Otherwise, the beginning of your adult life will turn into a huge clusterfu#k. I agree w/ most of the posters, but liked this one the best. He's a predator alright...BIG TIME!!! What if he does/ IS doing this w/ an underage student...It is really irrelevant that you are 18, one doe NOT use their position of authority for that purpose..PERIOD!!! Haven't you seen any of the Dateline episodes about online predators??? It's rampant, and sooo damaging and wrong...
Seen_It_All Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Who wants to bet this scumbag has a long HISTORY of playing on the innocence and gullibility of young girls in which he's been entrusted as a teacher? Puke.
GreenEyedLady Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Your point in posting here is? What do you want? Approval? That ain't happening--not even from the LoveShack bad boys and girls of which I am one. Disapproval? You'll hear that in spades. And for good reason: your teacher is a predator. He preys on students to get his ego and co#k stroked. So you really think you're the first student plaything for this pillar of the community? Hardly, young lady. You're just another student-fu#k. When you regain your sanity, you'll move on and he'll find a replacement. Students are like tissues to this family man: use one, throw it away, use another one, and so on. As for his wife and mother of his very young kids, and his kids themselves, if they don't matter a hill of beans to him, how much do you honestly believe that you matter? Try zero--especially once you stop hooking up with him. Get out, now. Graduate from high school in every sense of the word. Otherwise, the beginning of your adult life will turn into a huge clusterfu#k. Your point in posting this is? We are talking about an eighteen year old here...she obviously came here for help and she's getting completely ripped apart... Hello, how about AGE-APPROPRIATE responses? My guess is she will NEVER come back here for help, which is the opposite of what she needs... I will NEVER understand why some people feel it is their god-given right to tear people down and give what they consider tough love... This young lady has been victimized and coming here, has been even further victimized... Original poster, I am sorry for the harsh advice that you have received and some of the things that you have read on this thread...This is not your fault and your teacher shouldn't have put you in this position...please talk to a trusted adult so that they can help you...either a female teacher your close to, guidance counselor, your mother etc. Someone who truly has your best interest in mind... (((HUGS)))
norajane Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 In my high school, it was one of the art teachers that always had a girl hooked...must have been his Polo cologne or something, or maybe all the attention he payed to the girls, because he wasn't all that handsome or anything. My senior year it was a girl named Nancy who fell for him. I wasn't close friends with her, so I don't know how far it went, but the rumors ran rampant through my graduating class that spring. Don't be this year's girl. Put this behind you after graduation and stop all contact with him. There's so much out there for you - you don't need him or all the crap that will roll your way if you try to stay involved. People are already talking (trust me, they are). Don't add more fuel to the fire.
Herzen Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Your point in posting this is? We are talking about an eighteen year old here...she obviously came here for help and she's getting completely ripped apart... Hello, how about AGE-APPROPRIATE responses? My guess is she will NEVER come back here for help, which is the opposite of what she needs... I will NEVER understand why some people feel it is their god-given right to tear people down and give what they consider tough love... This young lady has been victimized and coming here, has been even further victimized... Original poster, I am sorry for the harsh advice that you have received and some of the things that you have read on this thread...This is not your fault and your teacher shouldn't have put you in this position...please talk to a trusted adult so that they can help you...either a female teacher your close to, guidance counselor, your mother etc. Someone who truly has your best interest in mind... (((HUGS))) If you had bothered to read my post, you would see that I criticized her married boy friend, not the young lady. Perhaps English is not your first language, so let me use simple words in summarizing my first post: this young woman should end her affair with her teacher because the affair is very harmful to the young woman, and the married man's wife and very young children.Reputations, marriages and careers are all at RISK. As for using strong language, I have an 18 and 20 year old at home. Young adults don't wilt when strong, colorful language is used with them. They're not fragile flowers. If my post offended thee, tough. It's hearmeoutx that I care about, not Shackers with delicate sensibilities.
ridingthebulls Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 If you had bothered to read my post, you would see that I criticized her married boy friend, not the young lady. Perhaps English is not your first language, so let me use simple words in summarizing my first post: this young woman should end her affair with her teacher because the affair is very harmful to the young woman, and the married man's wife and very young children.Reputations, marriages and careers are all at RISK. As for using strong language, I have an 18 and 20 year old at home. Young adults don't wilt when strong, colorful language is used with them. They're not fragile flowers. If my post offended thee, tough. It's hearmeoutx that I care about, not Shackers with delicate sensibilities. Oh brother. The man is a sleaze and I hope the wife DOES find out and he DOES lose his job. Why shouldn't he lose his reputation and his career? So he can go do this to someone else?? I don't see this post anything more than another young kid getting taken advantage of by an old filthy dirtbag. She has an excuse.. she's young and doesn't know any better than letting her emotions override common sense. This guy has NO excuses. He is a "professional" for pete's sake! SICK!
GreenEyedLady Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 If you had bothered to read my post, you would see that I criticized her married boy friend, not the young lady. Perhaps English is not your first language, so let me use simple words in summarizing my first post: this young woman should end her affair with her teacher because the affair is very harmful to the young woman, and the married man's wife and very young children.Reputations, marriages and careers are all at RISK. As for using strong language, I have an 18 and 20 year old at home. Young adults don't wilt when strong, colorful language is used with them. They're not fragile flowers. If my post offended thee, tough. It's hearmeoutx that I care about, not Shackers with delicate sensibilities. I did bother to read your post and English is my first language... So you use the words coc* and fuc* to your children? I'm sorry there's just a line and whether you like it or not, you crossed it... I work with young adults on a daily basis and your post came across as criticizing the young lady; Your opening post: Your point in posting here is? You're just another student f*ck? How is that not critical of the OP? I care about the OP and that's clear from my post...the same can't be said of yours...
marlena Posted June 10, 2007 Posted June 10, 2007 Sweetie, I will talk to you in both of my capacities and hopefully I will reach you! I am a teacher and a mother of a twenty- three year old daughter! I have loved each and every one of my students in a 30 year career as if they were my own. Honey, you have to get out ...for yourself and yourself only. I agree with most posters in here that this man is abusing your youthful charms ..and lack of experience. You are gettinh yourself into very deep waters the bottom of which you can not even fathom. I have seen it happen time and time again in the schools I have taught. This man is abusing YOU -- and that's all I care about right now. I don't care about his reputation, his job, his family, his breaking the law or whatever - I care about you. Walk away - right now - it is not right for an adult to be using a minor this way - more so considering his capacity as your teacher. If you were my daughter, I would slam this pseudo - educator behind prison bars. He does not love you , though he may have manipulated you into thinking so! Your mind is yet unformed and malleable and this he knows and is using to his benefit! Sweetheart, Walk away. You are way too young. You are noe equipped intellectually to understand his motives. They are clearly selfish and abusive. I am here for you. You may PM at any time. And keep posting. I do understand your predicament. And pray you have the sense despite your young age to get out of it ASAP! I am not here to reprimand you - I am here to help!
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