happilyneverafter Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 I'm 26 and have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years, living together most of that time(on and off during college). I didn't want to get married young but I'm not feeling so young anymore and he hasn't asked or said he wants to marry me even though I've come right out and said I want to. I just wonder how long I should wait, if hes not ready now after 7 years will he ever be? My married friends have all been together for less time it makes me think I'm not the one.
LoveLace Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 Honey your just going to have to talk to him about it. Just sit down and tell him again, that you have been wondering about his view on getting married. Give him an opportunity to express how he feels about it, and listen without prejudice. But don't think that just because you are 26 you need to get married. I am 30, honey, and a perfectly attractive woman, but I still don't even have a serious boyfriend. If your BF isn't ready for marriage yet, you have an option to give him more time and bring it up again in the future (like maybe in a year or two); the other option is to give him an ultimatum...which can work sometimes, but the guy might end up resenting you for it later...or may not...
Trialbyfire Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 I'm 26 and have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years, living together most of that time(on and off during college). I didn't want to get married young but I'm not feeling so young anymore and he hasn't asked or said he wants to marry me even though I've come right out and said I want to. I just wonder how long I should wait, if hes not ready now after 7 years will he ever be? My married friends have all been together for less time it makes me think I'm not the one. More importantly, why do you want to get married? Is it because you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with or have you found someone who will do, since you've invested so much time into him and he's of the age that is satisfactory for your plans to get married? Answer those questions for yourself and then decide your course of action. If he's the former, sit him down and ask him where he feels this relationship is going. Express that you feel it's dead-ending and to restart it, you both have to have similar future goals in mind. Point blank, ask him for concrete commitment of goals and timelines.
IpAncA Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I'm 26 and have been with my boyfriend for over 7 years, living together most of that time(on and off during college). I didn't want to get married young but I'm not feeling so young anymore and he hasn't asked or said he wants to marry me even though I've come right out and said I want to. I just wonder how long I should wait, if hes not ready now after 7 years will he ever be? My married friends have all been together for less time it makes me think I'm not the one. We didn't wait that long. 7 years is long enough IMO. I'd talk to him and find out where the relationship is going. If my H hadn't mentioned it to me by the 2 year mark, I would begin to wonder what's going on. Even though I'd take him anyway I could, you still need to know where your bf stands on the marriage issue.
Author happilyneverafter Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 More importantly, why do you want to get married? Is it because you found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with or have you found someone who will do, since you've invested so much time into him and he's of the age that is satisfactory for your plans to get married? Answer those questions for yourself and then decide your course of action. If he's the former, sit him down and ask him where he feels this relationship is going. Express that you feel it's dead-ending and to restart it, you both have to have similar future goals in mind. Point blank, ask him for concrete commitment of goals and timelines. Hes an amazing person its not that I've found someone who will do. We have similar values and goals and on top of that kind of thing we always have tons of fun together. I want to get married because hes the love of my life and hes awesome and I just feel like so many things we want to do are put on hold because our relationship hasn't reached that step.
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