Bedazzled Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 I was in a relationship with a guy that I met while internet dating. He's romantic, very affectionate, loving, caring and so much more. I basically loved him from the start! However, getting to know eachother there were quite a few things that came up and made me wonder whether our relationship would work. Things like our different tastes in things around the house, going out, my animals etc. The way I felt was that if you loved eachother enough, those things wouldn't really matter that much. I was prepared to compromise. Anyway, to make a long story short he didn't feel the same at the time and I broke up with him. I went back on the dating site and so did he, however, we still felt this incredible love for eachother and kept on seeing eachother, but we weren't a couple. After a few months we got back together and a week hadn't even pasted yet and I found messages on his cellphone to other woman. One he sent the day before we decided to get back together, saying how he loved her so much! When I queried him about it he said that he had chatted to her, but had never met her... I asked him how then do you tell someone that you've never even met physically that you love them and I mean this wasn't just love like in friendship at least that is not what it came across as. He didn't know how to answer me. Anyway, I broke up with him again. I told him not to contact me as I didn't want to see him or anything. He didn't contact me for about a week and I can't describe to you how lonely I felt and wished he'd ignore what I said and phoned me! But he never did... I'd look on my mobile phone about 10 times a day, hoping that he'd send a text message or something, but nothing. I made the first move and then contacted him.... So we started talking again and somehow that love never went away! I'm in another relationship now, with a very loving guy, but my problem now is that I feel like I want to move on an be happy with the new boyfriend, but I can't get my ex out of my system. We still text eachother and he keeps saying he loves me etc. and I feel the same. This makes me feel so guilty because I feel like I'm cheating on my boyfriend. I am scared to leave him and go back to my ex, because what if it doesn't work again. Then I've messed it up AGAIN! The other night my boyfriend and I went out with a bunch of friends and had quite a bit to drink and just before we went home one of my girl friends said to him in front of me: "I don't think your girlfriend will appreciate you flirting like this with me"... unfortunately I didn't see what happened, I just heard her say it and then when I asked him about it when we got to the car he totally denied that he flirted with her at all. Then a few days later I saw him send a message to a girl friend of his saying that she must sleep tite and that he can't wait for their chat the next day and then typed a kiss. I was really upset about that, because that's the type of text messages he sends me a lot of the time... he said it was totally innocent, but was it... I don't kow. I really don't know what to do, because my heart wants to be with my ex, but my head is putting in all the stops! I need a different perspective.
nicki Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 So, let me see if I have this straight. Your old boyfriend had a problem with talking inappropriately with other women. So you broke up, but still have feelings for him. You are in a new relationship with a guy who is also talking inappropriately with other women, even flirting with them. You are still talking to your ex (inappropriately, too.) You can't decide which guy you want to be with. Neither one of them sounds so great to me. I wouldn't believe the "innocent" friends crap. I think you picked two losers. Time to see what's behind door number three! Or maybe just time to spend time alone and get strong and clear so you attract better guys.
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