Trialbyfire Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 What a strange evening. It became sunny and was a beautiful night so after dinner I decided to go for a walk to get rid of some residual restlessness from an afternoon of intense focus on work. As I drive to go into the parking lot of the park, who drives out but the ex. I ignore him and keep driving but I know he's seen me. We both know each others' cars very well since we've both worked together on them. I should have known better than to go to one of our old haunts. It was inevitable that this would happen. I felt an incredible wave of sadness. As I'm walking, all the good times flooded back. After that, it was double-vision time. Good times overlayed with the raw, painful reality of what it was. Needless to say I had a little cry. It's a good thing there weren't too many people around because I'm not one to display this type of emotion in public. I have no regrets over my actions or the divorce. I'm just a little sad and angsty. The good part of all this is that I know I will be okay and have no residual anger. It was simply not meant to be. I consider this my final closure.
pelagicsands Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 I'm walking, all the good times flooded back. Moments. Life can sometimes be thought of as a collection of moments. They can still be very, very meaningful - in isolation. Needless to say I had a little cry.You'd need to do a lot better than that if you were being burnt at the stake. I consider this my final closure.Nothing is ever final, dude. But you have navigated your way over yet another knob. You're doing really well.
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 8, 2007 Author Posted June 8, 2007 Moments. Life can sometimes be thought of as a collection of moments. They can still be very, very meaningful - in isolation. As long as they're kept in isolation, perhaps it's better to have some meaningful moments. You'd need to do a lot better than that if you were being burnt at the stake. Okay, okay, I had a much better cry after my walk. Nothing is ever final, dude. But you have navigated your way over yet another knob. You're doing really well. This is final. Thanks.
pelagicsands Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 This is final. Thanks. Not everything can be executed with clinical precision. Don't be so hard on yourself. As Robin Williams said to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting - it's not your fault. Thanks for having me on your thread.
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 8, 2007 Author Posted June 8, 2007 Not everything can be executed with clinical precision. Don't be so hard on yourself. As Robin Williams said to Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting - it's not your fault. Thanks for having me on your thread. I understand. Thanks for stopping by and providing some solid advice/input.
pelagicsands Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 Thanks for stopping by and providing some solid That's what I do best. It feels great to squeeze one out.
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 8, 2007 Author Posted June 8, 2007 That's what I do best. It feels great to squeeze one out. Very thoughtful of you to drop by...
pelagicsands Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 a memory parked surfaces bittersweetly my ex tastes like peas
passionpeach Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I would say that to try is actually a good thing as it helps you release your emotions. It's healthy for you. One day you'll just see yourself feeling ok about everything and you will realize that crying was actually the start of your moving on process. Just cry because it's painful but do not dwell on the pain itself. Just take it as it is. It will heal sooner or later. Do not force yourself to forget lest you just end up remembering all the more. Face everything as they come. Just be strong. Think of yourself. Remember this: Pain is Temporary but Dignity is Forever.
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 a memory parked surfaces bittersweetly my ex tastes like peas Just saw this agic. Thanks. passionpeach, you are correct. I'm moving on. Hmmm...why does the Led Zep song "Ramble on" pop immediately into my mind?
Storyrider Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 why does the Led Zep song "Ramble on" pop immediately into my mind? That is a great song, TBF, and an immediate crank-up on the radio for me. (Did you know the last verse refers to Tolkien's LOTR?) I tend to associate events in my life with songs, too. Check out this one by Bob Dylan (seems a fit with what you're feeling) you might find it worth a listen if you can find an audio version: http://www.bobdylan.com/songs/dontthink.html
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 Yes, the references to Gollum and Mordor are unmistakeable. Thanks SR, I read the song you provided. This verse is perfect: You just kinda wasted my precious time
sb129 Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I haven't laid eyes on my NPD ex since we split last year. I am surprised, as we live in a small village. I am sure if I did see him it would stir up some kind of emotions, even tho I am blissfully happy with Wonderboy. Mainly disgust. If Wonderboy saw him I think he would punch him , so lets hope we don't see NPD-ex before I move. I still think you are great TBF.
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 I dunno sb. It might be worthwhile for Wonderboy to be formally introduced to the NPD-ex. It would be an interesting meet.
sb129 Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 I dunno sb. It might be worthwhile for Wonderboy to be formally introduced to the NPD-ex. It would be an interesting meet. Well its not one I would like to send out invites to!!! NPD ex has already got short man syndrome- if he clapped eyes on the 6 feet of glorious surfer manhood that is Wonderboy he might flip out. (again!) LOL.
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 Well its not one I would like to send out invites to!!! NPD ex has already got short man syndrome- if he clapped eyes on the 6 feet of glorious surfer manhood that is Wonderboy he might flip out. (again!) LOL. Oh, I dunno. I would consider it a good submission for youtube. Call it "Cause and effect".
alphamale Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 The good part of all this is that I know I will be okay and have no residual anger. It was simply not meant to be. I consider this my final closure. excellent TBF
sb129 Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Oh, I dunno. I would consider it a good submission for youtube. Call it "Cause and effect". In the event of this occasion occurring, I will send you the link. Lol! Good to hear you smiling again. x
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 excellent TBF Thanks alpha. Aaaahhhh, another song came to mind now. Move it on Over by George Thoroughgood. http://www.thealmightyguru.com/Music/Lyrics/GeorgeThoroughgood/MoveItOnOver.txt She told me not to mess around, but I done let the deal go down Move it on over, rock it on over, move over nice dog, the big fat dog is movin' in She changed the lock on my back door, now my key won't fit no more Move it on over, rock it on over, move over nice dog, the mean old dog is movin' in She threw me out just as pretty as she pleased, pretty soon I'll be scratchin' fleas Move it on over, slide it on over, move over nice dog, the mean old dog is movin' in
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 In the event of this occasion occurring, I will send you the link. Lol! Good to hear you smiling again. x Thanks. I wrote bad haikus yesterday and then talked the ear off a friend of mine.
ilmw Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Tbf, since I have been reading your posts.. I have come to see you as a strong independent lady As for what happened at the park.. its ok. You and the ex were married after all.. there had to have been something good there for that to happen in the first place. It is ok to cry... for what could have been.. and I know you will not dwell on this.. as you said.. it was closure... When ever love is involved.. there can always be threads that link to people together... you are just cutting those threads as they appear. You did fine. Don't forget.. you are only human. ilmw
Author Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 Tbf, since I have been reading your posts.. I have come to see you as a strong independent lady As for what happened at the park.. its ok. You and the ex were married after all.. there had to have been something good there for that to happen in the first place. It is ok to cry... for what could have been.. and I know you will not dwell on this.. as you said.. it was closure... When ever love is involved.. there can always be threads that link to people together... you are just cutting those threads as they appear. You did fine. Don't forget.. you are only human. ilmw Thanks ilmw. Do you here the chainsaw buzzing? It's what I used, well, along with my goalie's mask and rubber gloves, to cut the strands.
ilmw Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Thanks ilmw. Do you here the chainsaw buzzing? It's what I used, well, along with my goalie's mask and rubber gloves, to cut the strands. Ewwww.. sounds messy..
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