richardcruz Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 Im sitting in front of my computer with the screen's glow on my face and the room lights off. Its 10:25 pm pacific. My window is open and I can here the freeway in the distance. Every second I wonder if the girl that I loved will call me to tell me that she wants to work things out. I miss her so.I wonder if shes thinking about me right this second. I look around the room and remember all the times that we held each other while watching a good movie. However, now my bed has been overtaken by my unfolded laundry that has not been attended to since this morning because I just feel so damn depressed and I don't want to do anything. Usually around this time in the night, I would be asking her how work was and talking about each others day but instead the only sound that can be heard are my fingers hittin the keys of my keyboard. I think I'll go cry.....again.
hrtbroken99 Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 aww richard I send you lot's of hugs...sounds like the roller coaster is on the down en this evening...if it makes you feel any better I was feeling the EXACT same way this morning... ..I also miss my ex...I hate to always have to say this...but a day let alone an hour does not go by with me not thinking about him....and its been 6 months since my breakup! ....the wondering is also there....I also wonder..is he thinking about me right now...does he ever think about me....does this or that remind him of us or me....I hate it and it hurts like crazy...I have no cure for you but can say you are not alone.... I don't know how long your breakup has been....but its hard the first month and the sixth! although...of course the first few days and months are the most difficult....people have told me slowly with time you will forget but I don't know its been 6 months for me and I still cry...still hurt....I try to keep myself busy and would recommend the same... maybe call up a friend tonight to do something with? get out of the house and get some fresh air...watch a movie or something? that might help...I send you tons of hugs and hope you feel better soon:)
Author richardcruz Posted June 9, 2007 Author Posted June 9, 2007 I really appreciate it. I wish i could hug everyone that has been helping go through this all at the same time (well guys maybe a handshake might be a little more appropriate but you get my point). I will be going out with my friends tonight but Im really forcing myself to go. I would really want to stay home and go to sleep so I wont think of everything thats going on. I wake up happy every morning for the first few seconds till I remember whats going on and it instantly sadens me. I remeber feeling happy everytime i woke up because my life felt so complete with her. I just want to feel like that again. Deep down tonight I'll be hurting badly I guess I'll just keep praying for strength for me and clarity for her.
polywog Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Richard, I know that feeling all to well... I think lots of us here do, though I'm not sure that helps much. You really distilled it in your post, the details we see when we miss our lost love. Just want to say, that in my own way, I know that bleak feeling that you had as you posted. So I send my hugs... and also my knowledge (firsthand!) that these feelings which are so raw and real right now will truly diminish as time passes and you heal. Yes, I know... just words, a platitude, but it really does. I never thought I'd say that I'm moving on from my huge heartbreak, but it's been happening recently. I read other's posts here about that, and I finally get that it happens, and it will happen for you. But for now, in the heat of it, you just feel the pain (I understand!!!) so I just send you my best vibes, and my confidence that you will survive, a wiser and stronger person when this yucky phase passes. Take good care of yourself, it will pass... no need to rush it, it will happen.
marlena Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 Richard, What could I possibly say that would alleviate some of your pain? It is good that you are forcing yourself to go out with friends. I can't even muster the strength to do that. Nor do even want to. Right now I am in my self- pity stage. I wallow in my despair. I don't know why I do this. It's a stage I seem to have to go through until one morning I wake up and say ENOUGH!!!!! Hopefully this day will come soon. For you too, Richard. It will happen for us - inevitably. Time will use it's healing powers. That and our sense of self-worth. One day we will look in the mirror, see the our grief - contorted faces from - and say, "Hey, this has simply got to stop"! Like a teacher rebuking a child for misbehaving! We will put ourselves in check one day. I mean, really, how long can you go on feeling miserable and pathetic without one day hating yourself? That day we will pick up the pieces and before long we will wonder at the absolute insanity of letting someone do this to us - or more accurately- letting ourselves do this to us! Hang in there! You will be alright! Even better one day!
passionpeach Posted June 9, 2007 Posted June 9, 2007 It must be really hard for you right now. I went through the same thing several times before. I cried a lot, didn't want to eat, and found it hard to sleep. There was even once that I thought that I couldn't get over the pain and I told myself never to plunge in a relationship ever again. Later on, I just found myself in love and happy again. During the times that all the places I go to reminded me of my ex, what I did was to temporarily avoid going there... If I really can't help it then I set my mind off of the memories and I try to think of other things. My house was filled of memories too. My resolution was to re-arrange the furnitures, the decorations, the curtains, etc... It may sound silly but it helped me big time. What I'm trying to say is... Don't dwell on the pain. Cry if you have to but don't sulk on the pain too much as it will not help you move on and you may even more stuck. Don't be hard on yourself. Pain is but temporary. You are stronger than you think you are.
tinke Posted June 11, 2007 Posted June 11, 2007 whew! i feel your pain. it brings back all those dreaded raw emotions from my initial break-up. please know, things will get easier, it will get better. try to find some sense of it all, something you can continue to repeat to yourself during those tough times. 3 months ago, i thought about my ex constantly...cried, barely functioned, was in total disbelief. it is amazing to me how cruel and heartless people can be when they've found their "greener grass". what has helped me, is to remind myself that he totally disregarded me, and my feelings, let alone our relationship. i do feel differently now, i do not think of him as often throughout the day, and i can now at least remember his faults, too. we tend to idolize, when it is simply not true. try to keep busy, force yourself. remember all your good qualities, and try to put all that effort into you. as we mature, we do realize, at times we just have to accept things without knowing the purpose. please don't lose yourself in the grieving process. grieve, and then statrt to focus on YOUR NEEDS.
Outofluck Posted June 12, 2007 Posted June 12, 2007 I am still going through those emotions right now and they are, at best, day to day. During the initial stages a few months ago (when I still had hope) they were minute to minute...what a horrible roller coaster ride. Today has been a good day though and I managed to get myself to the gym (and not just go through the motions.) I used to go five days a week and then it happened..I hit the brick wall. As Tinke said it best..it is truly amazing how heartless people can be when they have found greener grass. My ex and I were not together for almost a year but still remained close friends..only talked about once or twice a month but she was still there for me, and I her. In October, I lost my mother to cancer and she was a god-sent help in getting me through the tough times. I guess that I just figured she would always be there to lean on but one day I found that she was with someone new and those calls all stopped. On Mother's day this year I was torn with depression and really needed her....she didn't call and I didn't want to bother her with my pity so I just sulked. Anyhow..we spoke a few weeks after that and what an a*****e she turned into..almost as if to rub it in my face. I suppose if we become too dependent on someone it eventually blows up in our face and this is no exception. Hang in there Richard. I know what you mean about waking up with that feeling EVERY SINGLE MORNING..it sucks, man..like its a dream and then you realize that you are not dreaming. I can tell you that lately I have been waking up thinking about her (first thought, every day) but it goes away as soon as I get out of bed.... Your greener grass will come soon.
laura20 Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 I felt like crying when I read how you felt in the mornings... I am going through the same thing.... Today my STBX told me he wasn't planning to get back with me.... It hurt...A LOT...we fought but it was fixable....I think. It sucks having someone control your emotions....like you waking up happy to soon realize she is gone...then you feel that emptiness....or if you take a nap you wake up and remember her then everything feels so sad....I know....Im there with you... Just take it one day at a time....that's all I can say and have been doing...but know that I am here with you....you are not alone....BIG HUGS.......
Living_For_Me Posted June 20, 2007 Posted June 20, 2007 Hey Rich I can feel your pain mate. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is to change as many aspects of your life as possible. Get rid of anything that reminds you of her, go to different places and engage in the activities you weren't allowed to do while you were together. Coping with the loss of someone you love, especially when you are the dumpee is IMO 3 things. Change, Improvement and Time. Change: Change anything that reminds you of her, get rid of it, change your hang outs, change anything that could bring any memories of her flooding back. Improvement: Use your new found time to improve yourself, mentally and physically it will give you something to do and more importantly goals. Time: Like everyone here has said, time is perhaps the greatest healer. Whilst everything may be bleak and dark right now. I promise it will only get better with time. You are going to miss her (no doubt) I miss my ex and it's been 6 months but it has definitely gotten easier with time. Just hang in there mate. Just remember there will always be another and it is usually better the next time round!
jackmerridew Posted June 23, 2007 Posted June 23, 2007 Mr. Cruz, It seems I am in for the same mornings you are going through. In the dating thread, it seems that I've broken up with my live-in girlfriend, someone whom I was certain I was going to spend the rest of my life with. All her stuff is here, because she hasn't returned from her trip. Her lingerie still hangs in my closet. Her favorite, and my favorite, nightie is still on the nightstand next to the bed. A drawing she did of me still hangs on the fridge, and love notes she left me all over the place are still all over the place. I woke up this morning, feeling rested and hearing the birds chirping, before I dropped 10,000 feet into despair knowing that I wasn't going to have that same sense of warmth and security I felt whenever I woke up next to her. It took me about ... oh five years to get over the last girl I was really in love with, and I am dreading the next few HOURS, let alone years. I only wish we could hang out and have a beer together. Misery loves company, and mutual pats on the back definitely helps.
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