Defining "The One"

[madgun68]

I've heard it used a lot. So and so wasn't "the one." This person just hasn't found "the one."

 

What exactly is "the one" represent? The phrase sounds so confining. Almost if it suggests that there's only one person out there for you and you just need to find each other. It can't be just one person.. There are obviously plenty of people out there that could be "the one" for us. So what is it then?

 

To myself, it seems to represent "the one" relationship that lasted. That both parties involved were at the right place in their lives when they met for it to survive.

 

I've been reading posts here for a while. I get the impression that some folks just have the right factors early on that put their lives in the right place before others, while the rest (including myself) really need a good jolt to occur for them to step back and realise that they need to make changes in themselves.

 

So I'm curious, what does "the one" mean to you? How do you define it?

[sb129]

I have found a "one".

 

 

I think there is probably more than "one" who would have been good for me, but he came along at the right time. I was ready for a R, but Ok not being in one, and armed with alot of self respect.

 

Personally, I had to grow as a person to be able to recognise the traits in a man that would make me happy. I had to deal with my lack of self esteem before I could be truly happy in a R.

I spent a long time with men who didn't have these traits, maybe that is why- I "settled" for anyone who would have me.

 

I do think there is alot of truth in the saying you can't truly love another until you love yourself.

 

 

I know my guy is the one because I have never had to hide any aspect of my personality from him. I feel more like myself when I am with him than I have for years.

 

I know he will still love me if I gain 10lbs, or if I make a silly mistake.

But I also know that I can't take him for granted.

He commmands alot of respect from me, because he respects himself. And vice versa.

 

He is amazing. And he is really cute and funny too....

[Curmudgeon]

So I'm curious, what does "the one" mean to you? How do you define it?

 

I define it as "the one" person I have in my life who embodies all those characteristics, qualities and attributes that I think are right for me.

 

Are there others out there who would or could do so as well? No doubt. But "the one" I'm with does so and, therefore, there's no pressing need or desire to look elsewhere.

 

I am content!

[lonelybird]

I think when God made me, HE made another counterpart soul as well. and when we get together, it is destiny. And at the right time right situation God will deliver the one into your life. As so, sleep around is meaningless

[Curmudgeon]

I think when God made me, HE made another counterpart soul as well. and when we get together, it is destiny. And at the right time right situation God will deliver the one into your life. As so, sleep around is meaningless

 

On my 53d birthday, three years after marrying my wife, I gave HER a card with the following written in it:

 

"Fifty-three years ago today God looked down, saw what he had made and said, "Not bad for a rush job -- all those boomers you know --but it's only half done. I'll finish it when I get a little more time on my hands," and then He smiled.

 

Just over two years later, God finished what He had begun but the two parts were separated by a wide ocean. God figured they'd come together eventually, all in His good time.

 

First, however, as if to test their resolve, God made sure the two parts crisscrossed one another for years; never meeting, always missing. As a further challenge He set mistakes, bad choices and unhappy experiences in their paths, piled them high with baggage, then sat back to observe and see if they were ready and worthy of the great gift He'd always had in store for them.

 

They were! After 50 years the two finally came together and were united. Again God looked down. "What took you so long?" He asked. He smiled again for He knew the answer. What He had brought together was good and forever."

[lonelybird]

On my 53d birthday, three years after marrying my wife, I gave HER a card with the following written in it:

 

"Fifty-three years ago today God looked down, saw what he had made and said, "Not bad for a rush job -- all those boomers you know --but it's only half done. I'll finish it when I get a little more time on my hands," and then He smiled.

 

Just over two years later, God finished what He had begun but the two parts were separated by a wide ocean. God figured they'd come together eventually, all in His good time.

 

First, however, as if to test their resolve, God made sure the two parts crisscrossed one another for years; never meeting, always missing. As a further challenge He set mistakes, bad choices and unhappy experiences in their paths, piled them high with baggage, then sat back to observe and see if they were ready and worthy of the great gift He'd always had in store for them.

 

They were! After 50 years the two finally came together and were united. Again God looked down. "What took you so long?" He asked. He smiled again for He knew the answer. What He had brought together was good and forever."

Hi, Curmudgeon

Thanks for the article

If people don't experience bad, how can they appreciate good? God didn't bring that one earlier because we are not ready, if God bring them earlier, we'd mess up the good oppotunity. Don't you see? God is training and shaping us for the good one.

I like the last line:love:

[Curmudgeon]

I like the last line:love:

 

One thing my wife and I have always agreed upon is that we needed all the mistakes, bad choices and sorry experiences of our pasts to become the people we are and to be ready for one another.

 

Had we met 30 years earlier we wouldn't have liked one another at all!

[Jacquilyn]

The one... the person who makes you smile when your mad, laugh when your crying, the person that always seems to be there for you when you need them most, it's the person who caan reach inside you and touch those parts no one else can - they can bring the best and the worst out of you. The person who can cuddle with you and make you feel you could be in their arms forever. The person who doesn't mind getting crazy with you, and doesn't mind it when you are crazy. It's the one you feel you NEED in your life. "The One" is the person who just gets you. Physically and mentally.

[quankanne]

I think when God made me, HE made another counterpart soul as well. and when we get together, it is destiny. And at the right time right situation God will deliver the one into your life. As so, sleep around is meaningless

 

ah, but sleeping around is such a guilty pleasure when you're single ... :laugh:

 

as I get older, I'm becoming more convinced that DH is the person that God meant me to have for keeps. I mean, when we met, I knew I had a sure feeling about the guy, that he was the one I could imagine being old with and the thought didn't freak me out; to whom I could give of myself, without hesitation, even years down the line ... and I really wasn't even thinking "marriage," but being in his life.

 

but the longer we're married, it occurs to me that ours isn't a happy accident of a relationship – we come from completely different social, educational, religious and economic backgrounds, but we have so many of the same beliefs that it's not funny.

 

it also occurs to me that while I've got guy friends whom I love dearly, I don't think I could have been in a successful romantic relationship with them because they just don't "get" me the way DH does – I highly doubt I could do the piggy-face thing with them the way he does, or the goofy inside jokes or even the way we disagree. It's just too incredibly unique to replicate.

 

to me, "the one" is that person who is unlike all others in every aspect, who shines through and brings such meaning and definition to your life even when life can be at its dullest ...

[DOA]

I think when God made me, HE made another counterpart soul as well. and when we get together, it is destiny. And at the right time right situation God will deliver the one into your life. As so, sleep around is meaningless

 

I had always believed in this, and probably still do a bit, but I'm beginning to think that, rather than there being a SPECIFIC someone in the world for everyone, when you meet someone special, you MAKE them THE ONE. I think if we apply the concept of God in this, he perhaps placed a handful or enough people with the same types of qualities that would complement yourself, and then from those people, once you meet one, they have the potential to become THE ONE for you.

[directx]

I think there are many "one's" for each person.

Just when I thought I met a "one", I just met another "one".

I dont think I want to meet any"one" anymore because its so dang confusing.

 

Bring back harems.

[sb129]

I had always believed in this, and probably still do a bit, but I'm beginning to think that, rather than there being a SPECIFIC someone in the world for everyone, when you meet someone special, you MAKE them THE ONE. I think if we apply the concept of God in this, he perhaps placed a handful or enough people with the same types of qualities that would complement yourself, and then from those people, once you meet one, they have the potential to become THE ONE for you.

 

i don't believe in any concepts of gods.

 

But I still found a one.

[Aloros]

I think "The One" is someone who complements you, mentally, phsyically, and emotionally. I would prefer to say "A One", however, just because I don't believe in the absolutes of soulmates. Imagine if there was only ever one person out there who was right for you! Those are some long odds, and I'm an optimist at heart

[IpAncA]

I believe that if were meant to be with someone we will. Doesn't mean it will last but to last is hard work.

 

For me it goes beyond compatability and love. You can have that with anyone. It goes deeper.

 

For me it's the person who makes you come to life. It's someone who I guess is your best friend. Even though I've mentioned on here that my H isn't, I guess in a way he is. I can have all the best friends in the world, but he's the only one I'd rather not lose. We see through each other.

 

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of each other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life."

 

I really like this quote. Of course there's more but it's just something you feel.

 

But according to my H, he thinks he's the right one because he said he's the only one who can put up with me. And it's probably true.

[lonelybird]

I think when God made me, HE made another counterpart soul as well. and when we get together, it is destiny. And at the right time right situation God will deliver the one into your life. As so, sleep around is meaningless

 

ah, but sleeping around is such a guilty pleasure when you're single ... :laugh:

 

as I get older, I'm becoming more convinced that DH is the person that God meant me to have for keeps. I mean, when we met, I knew I had a sure feeling about the guy, that he was the one I could imagine being old with and the thought didn't freak me out; to whom I could give of myself, without hesitation, even years down the line ... and I really wasn't even thinking "marriage," but being in his life.

 

but the longer we're married, it occurs to me that ours isn't a happy accident of a relationship – we come from completely different social, educational, religious and economic backgrounds, but we have so many of the same beliefs that it's not funny.

 

it also occurs to me that while I've got guy friends whom I love dearly, I don't think I could have been in a successful romantic relationship with them because they just don't "get" me the way DH does – I highly doubt I could do the piggy-face thing with them the way he does, or the goofy inside jokes or even the way we disagree. It's just too incredibly unique to replicate.

 

to me, "the one" is that person who is unlike all others in every aspect, who shines through and brings such meaning and definition to your life even when life can be at its dullest ...

No, quan

Actually I didn't sleep around, because it is meaningless, why will I do that?:confused:

[lonelybird]

I had always believed in this, and probably still do a bit, but I'm beginning to think that, rather than there being a SPECIFIC someone in the world for everyone, when you meet someone special, you MAKE them THE ONE. I think if we apply the concept of God in this, he perhaps placed a handful or enough people with the same types of qualities that would complement yourself, and then from those people, once you meet one, they have the potential to become THE ONE for you.

No, we cannot MAKE or change anybody. I speak of truth.

and make people your god is danger

[lonelybird]

I think when God made me, HE made another counterpart soul as well. and when we get together, it is destiny. And at the right time right situation God will deliver the one into your life. As so, sleep around is meaningless

 

ah, but sleeping around is such a guilty pleasure when you're single ... :laugh:

 

as I get older, I'm becoming more convinced that DH is the person that God meant me to have for keeps. I mean, when we met, I knew I had a sure feeling about the guy, that he was the one I could imagine being old with and the thought didn't freak me out; to whom I could give of myself, without hesitation, even years down the line ... and I really wasn't even thinking "marriage," but being in his life.

 

but the longer we're married, it occurs to me that ours isn't a happy accident of a relationship – we come from completely different social, educational, religious and economic backgrounds, but we have so many of the same beliefs that it's not funny.

 

it also occurs to me that while I've got guy friends whom I love dearly, I don't think I could have been in a successful romantic relationship with them because they just don't "get" me the way DH does – I highly doubt I could do the piggy-face thing with them the way he does, or the goofy inside jokes or even the way we disagree. It's just too incredibly unique to replicate.

 

to me, "the one" is that person who is unlike all others in every aspect, who shines through and brings such meaning and definition to your life even when life can be at its dullest ...

sorry, didn't finish reading.

your marriage sounds beautiful. and you definitely find the one

[DOA]

No, we cannot MAKE or change anybody. I speak of truth.

and make people your god is danger

 

I think you misunderstand me. I never said anything about making or changing anybody. What I meant is that, in your eyes, this person BECOMES The One for you (accepting all their flaws, loving them unconditionally etc) rather than there being one set person out there in the world out of billions of people.

[lonelybird]

I think you misunderstand me. I never said anything about making or changing anybody. What I meant is that, in your eyes, this person BECOMES The One for you (accepting all their flaws, loving them unconditionally etc) rather than there being one set person out there in the world out of billions of people.

Okay, I got it.

[amaysngrace]

For me the one means several actually. I believe there is more than one "one" out there for all of us. If you find "one" though you may look no further.

 

But for me having the "one" in my life means I have found the person who makes my life better by being in it. It's the person who is my very best friend. He is my greatest lover.

 

He is also the first person that I have ever opened my heart up to completely. Is there another out there who could possibly bring me to new levels of love or will he be the "one"??

 

Time will tell.

[law1973]

The One is the person whom was already determined for you. Just neither one of you knew it. It could be someone you already met, or a stranger. When it is The One, everything just comes together naturally. In my opinion.