awayfromthesunagain Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Its difficult to move on.. two years back i was going out with this boy, and we were working at the same place. we saw each other everyday and everything was fine for 6 months before i learnt that he had a gilfriend. I decided to go but he came back, said he had chosen me and regrets. 3 months later I learn that he had sex with this same girl. once more i leave, but then came back becoz he proved me that he really loved me and we decided to go back together making a brand new story. But one day i saw something on his mobile from another girl, he swore it wasnt him but i had some doubts.. i broke up again and went out and ended up kissing a friend of mine. I was sooooo guilty i told him everything afterwards and apologized. He did forgive me (even if what i did wasnt cheating) .. and for the rest of our relationship, he made many many many efforts and changed completely to try to make me happy and i was fine with it. but unfortunately the relationship pushed me to be so much jealous, a thing a dislike in people, that i denied being so.. but he knew it but didnt bother. Once he went out without me and thats when i was so pissed off. i went to a friend's place, got all drunk and ended up kissing another guy. Same scenario, I told him and apologized but this time, it was not that simple. He threw me like trash, telling me he didnt know me anymore and all stuff u cant hear.. Now like, 6 months later, I am still feeling guilty, depressive and confused.. I am trying to move on but i just cant.. he did his life, he has another gf from his job, i saw pics and all .. she's pretty . He texted me once only, asking if i was doing good. Its so difficult living with regrets and guilt.. and seeing what used to be mine (my whole world) on the lips of another girl. i guess that the term heartbreaking is petty. I havent contacted him since .. i did the worse things possible to try to forget ... but still, i know i dont love him as before but i cant get rid of the memories and regrets which hurt much.. cant sleep, cant eat properly and smoking a lot .. to brief it, im killing myself slowly. How to get out of that mess??? Dont tell me get out clubbing and find a new guy.. we all know that when it implies the heart, it takes much more to heal a broken heart...
funkybassplayer Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 try not to dwell on what happened, its over and the sooner you get that into the head the better. Its all the questions that prevent you from moving forward. Ifs, buts and stuff. It doent matter now. U have to think of you, and greave all you have to. There are always questions in relationships ending, but they in effect now mean nothing. It sounds like your in a depression. Please see my thread goodbye my lady in breakups! THE SOONER YOU LET THE THOUGHTS OF WHAT HAPPENED GO THE BETTER, rEMEMBER THAT ONCE YOU BOTH LOVED EACH OTHER. All the other stuff now really doen't matter does it. We have 1 life, and the only respect that matters is self respect. Heal then look for someone new and make new memories, and ones that dont involve 2 girls and one guy. Time to let the relationship go, and concentrate on YOU !
learning2luv Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Yes, cheer up, everything will be ok. Enjoy who you are today and not worry about what he is. There isn't a lot of time in this little game called life to be sad, upset, angry or jealous. Make the most of it. When you're feeling better, go get someone who will be honest and true to you. Live everyday as its your last
Author awayfromthesunagain Posted June 6, 2007 Author Posted June 6, 2007 Thanks a lot for caring to answer thats really nice .. I know maybe I am in a depression but the problem is how to get out of it .. my family cant afford a specialist and I dont want them to worry too much about me .. I want to react like a grown up, move on like it is an experience, I know every answer to the ifs, whys and buts, as I have several times been self-analysing, but its like I am frozen in the same state as before .. I try, get up everymorning, live as if it never happened.. but at night, I cant deny it.. the silence is too loud to stop thinking..
funkybassplayer Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 thats why its hard to go forward, because you keep going over the same things in your mind. What you have to try and think is that nothing that comes into your mind will change the situation, and you cant tell or begin to think what the ex is thinking off so its not worth it. Let it go. Its really hard thing to do, but i was like you, and started to think well what can i do-nothing but stay quite, be cool and you will look cool, keep your self respect, and your ex will respect you, leave these people to thier lives no matter how much you think that you were right for them (its there loss and they may realise in a few months) they have made there chioce, and no amount of lying in bed thinking about what happened is going to change that. Then soon You will start thinking of yourself again, maybe you will see that it wasnt worth it anyway. Im my case i have realised that the realtionship was bloody hard work, and it made me feel down alot. She was very inscure and selfish too, thats why she had to date someone right away, because she never had the strenth to be on her own at all, not because i never ment anything. I thought this when i took a step back and looked on things as they were. It didnt mean that i didnt love her, but it ment that i wasnt that happy in the relationship. thats what you have to do, forget the thoughts in the head, look at how it was, was it more stress than anything else?? What your state of mind is in can be bad in the way that it can consume evertything in your life, and soon its not about the ex anymore but a habit ! Let it go as soon as you can, watch some films that make you tearfull and it will help you get the stress out. You cant date, club or anything else till your ready, go through this period, feel what you have to, but keep your dignity and self respect. It doesnt matter to say your missing them, if thats what you feel say it, but dont hammer the texts or the phone. you will come out a cool, wiser and happy person that you were before.
Author awayfromthesunagain Posted June 6, 2007 Author Posted June 6, 2007 Thats really wise of you .. thanks again taking some time to answer .. but tell me something, how long did it take you to get over it? How are you now? I havent taken the time to go in your thread yet but I hope u are ok .. The fear that I have left after reading what u said is the amount of time I am taking to heal.. almost 6 months .. I have made grief and all, cried and let go (by not texting or phoning) and I am sincerely freaked never to forget.. Yess I know the insecure kind, after analysis, I discovered I am too, and this is why at each demonstration of non-affection I had to turn to someone else, it sure must have been hard for you, I hope u are ok. Ill go in ur thread soon, but, sincerely, THANK YOU!
funkybassplayer Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 when you read my story it will scare you of what i have put up with and lost! Well its been 6 weeks to the hour that i kissed my ex on the lips to say goodbye! Ok im 41, have been in a few relationships, but this one was the most intence. Im trying to set myself up for a friendship with her in the future by bieng clear in my head, and cool to her eyes. I wont be a frined till i can trully be just that. Im not a fiddler! i loved the kids, thats why i want a frienship. I feel good, i lost weight toned up, and the thought of my next relationship and all the fun im going to have is making me smile. Im about 65% of what i was before i got involved with her, but thats better than the 20% i was 3 weeks ago. Trust me, your stuck in a circle, its not the ex anymore, i bet in fact you are over him? i mean would you go back? see fill your head with practical thoughts and not ones from the heart. Let me know when you read my story, tell me what you think!
Author awayfromthesunagain Posted June 14, 2007 Author Posted June 14, 2007 hi I dont know if you will get the message through the thread .. I have another problem and I just hope u could help me.. It was just last week end, I have a friend who made a car accident and is at hospital in a coma, i didnt know about it, and my ex phoned me to tell me about it. When i went to hosti the next day, he was there with his gf.. it ws really hard to see them together and once again i got all depressed. But he texted me the same night and asked if i was ok. I told him if somehow it bothered him to have been seen with his new gf, but that it was ok with me if that was the problem .. he said it wasnt. We chatted casually for some time and yesterday he told me that he missed me so much. Logically i told him that he should not play with people's feelings as he already said he had forgotten about me and all .. but he got all fussed. I apologized for believing that he was playing a game and that my words were so harsh .. but he didnt reply after that, he said he meant what he said and even discussed it with one of our friends. The problem is that, I miss something, his friendship and I do not want hope because its all over .. but he did put hope and now im lost i dont want to harass him with msgs that he wont answer like before .. what must i think .. is it a game?
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