ls3360 Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Hey gals, If you read an online dating profile and it says someone is 40yo and "lives with roommates", is this an immediate problem? Thanks :-) J.
roxy_1980 Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 In a word, YES! As a person whose managed to live on their own since the age of 22, it opens the door to thinking what the heck they've been doing with their life all this time that they still can't afford a place on their own. The only place that it may pass is if they live in NYC or something super expensive like that.
Green Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 I live in NYC and it can be well over a grand a month to have a place even with 2 room mates. alot of the nice places are atleast 2000$ and up if you have a room mate or two. with out roomates ur going to be paying atleast 3000$ probably 4500$ for a decent place by yourself
Lizzie60 Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Hey gals, If you read an online dating profile and it says someone is 40yo and "lives with roommates", is this an immediate problem? Thanks :-) J. A huge turn-off... at 41, he should live alone in a nice apart. or own a house... I would not respond to a guy like that.
jcster Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Like KMT said, it could be due to living in a very expensive area, it could also be due to a recent divorce. I'm 41, recently divorced and have a good job - I've considered moving into a place as a roommate to save on my commute time to work. I've already owned a home, and don't feel much urge to do it again anytime soon. I have a feeling that if you met this guy, you'd find it was a lot less weird than you might expect.
serial muse Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Not necessarily. Where you live makes a huge difference, as KMT said. So I wouldn't think anything about it right off the bat; I'd just wait for more information.
LoveLace Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Even if not in an expensive place like NYC, what's wrong with single people having roommates? (Long as the roommates aren't mom and dad!)...Especially if he's been divorced before, it's common for people to get roommates after that, weather it's for financial reasons and/or the company. I would definitely get more info 1st. I don't think that just because of someone's age with a roommate necessarily represents their maturity level, nor stability. I am 30 and could probably handle living alone (but just barely); but I have a roommate and there's nothing better than saving some bucks, and I have a perfectly stable job, etc, so sometimes people just prefer to have a roommate even if they don't really have to. It's just helpful in general when it comes to sharing household duties and bills, etc. And my roommate isn't far from 40 himself but again he also has a stable job, etc...so yes just because a person of any age has a roommate it doesn't mean anything about their character; you can only find that out by interacting with them on a personal level. People can have roommates for all different reasons, depending on what the situation is in their life at the time.
electric_sheep Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Even if not in an expensive place like NYC, what's wrong with single people having roommates? I totally agree. I'm constantly baffled by all the assumptions people make, and the apparent close mindedness one sees on here from time to time. Every one just immediately assumed he is in financial dire straights, which isn't even necessarily the case. Some people just prefer to live with roommates. Even if he is financially challenged, does that mean he is a bad person, unworthy of dating? I've never known someones personal wealth to tell me too much about them as a person. I know a lot of people are very pratical about dating. I guess I'm a bit of an idealist, but I'm looking for a friend, companion, and fellow free spirit whom I can relate to. Everything else is secondary.
Author ls3360 Posted June 6, 2007 Author Posted June 6, 2007 So it sounds like for some people there is a strong prejudice in this area. Thanks. I'll pass the info along. FWIW... the guy I asked about can afford his own place. He's worth at least $1M and it sounds like that's increasing rapidly, but for various reasons he likes sharing a house with other interesting and carefully selected people and not having to take time from his busy life to manage property. But it sounds like he should realize that this might be hurting him in the online dating area.
sb129 Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 People can have roommates for all different reasons, depending on what the situation is in their life at the time. Well said Lovelace. If it IS hurting him in the online dating area, why should he lie about his living situation? If its part of who he is, then people should know that. People who have a problem with it need not apply!
electric_sheep Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 But it sounds like he should realize that this might be hurting him in the online dating area. Don't be so fast. It may actually be HELPING him, in that it's weeding out people who are overly judgemental and quick to make assumptions. I assume those are not the kind of traits he is looking for.
sb129 Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Don't be so fast. It may actually be HELPING him, in that it's weeding out people who are overly judgemental and quick to make assumptions. I assume those are not the kind of traits he is looking for. My thoughts exactly!
LoveLace Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 So it sounds like for some people there is a strong prejudice in this area. Thanks. I'll pass the info along. FWIW... the guy I asked about can afford his own place. He's worth at least $1M and it sounds like that's increasing rapidly, but for various reasons he likes sharing a house with other interesting and carefully selected people and not having to take time from his busy life to manage property. But it sounds like he should realize that this might be hurting him in the online dating area. Then perhaps he is a person who likes to fill his life with people or friends. If it bothers you, you might not be the right person for him.
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