Star Gazer Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 My dad hasn't been around since I was 6 months old. At times I think because of this he didn't have an impact whatsoever, but at other times I think his absence clearly did impact me in a negative manner. I go back and forth on this idea...
alphamale Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 My dad hasn't been around since I was 6 months old. At times I think because of this he didn't have an impact whatsoever, but at other times I think his absence clearly did impact me in a negative manner. I go back and forth on this idea... he had definitely impacted you genetically SG
halfarock Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 My dad was quite abusive. Growing up I feared and wholeheartedly hated him. As an adult I’ve just ignored him, put him out of my mind.
This_Too_Shall_Pass Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Dads are so important. Particularly for girls. A large part of their attitude towards men, and their reactions to men, are shaped by their dad. Even if the dad is not physically present, he leaves an impression on the child. Part of that impression conveys how much he cared for you then, and how much he would've cared for you now, if he was there. Or, it could be a feeling that he didn't really care for you back then, and nor would he have now. That probably explains why some women are better able to handle men and relationships, even though they might've lost their dad when they were little.
ShoeGirl Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 My father has had very little influence on my life. He hasn't been around for the majority of my life, when I was younger he would show up randomly and would try to buy me, when he was trying to buy me I didn't want the money or the material things. As I got older he put me in the middle of the child support battles and used me against my mom, as a result I haven't talked to him much in the last 3-4 years. In fact he will be coming here this weekend for my graduation, this will be the first time I have seen him or talked to him in months. Like others who have posted I have had trust issues when it comes to men. I either don't trust a guy no matter what he does to try and get me to believe him or I trust a guy to easily, unfortunately I trust the ones who I shouldn't have and didn't trust the ones that I probably should have.
Krytellan Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 My dad hasn't been around since I was 6 months old. At times I think because of this he didn't have an impact whatsoever, but at other times I think his absence clearly did impact me in a negative manner. I go back and forth on this idea... I wish more fathers realize how much their absence affects their children, and how particularly devastating their absence can be to young girls. I like to think that I succeed in spite of my father. He did lots of questionable and not-nice things to my mother, to us, and was less-than-something-to-be-proud-of at my wedding. I actually feel kinda bad for him and have made it my goal to be everything he wasn't able to be in my childhood.
Leahh Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 My dad... I think he's a rarity. Always brings/ buys and sends me flowers on special occasions (depending on where I am). Growing up a day never passed when he didn't tell me he was proud of me. He always made sure I was financially taken care of, but at the same time encouraged me to work and pay my own way. He was a big "splitter" when it came to money.. as in if I asked for it, he would offer to pay half. He treats my mother in very much the same manner, cards and flowers for special occasions and sometimes for the hell of it. I think my dad is very special and I hope I find a husband that will treat me, and his kids as special as my dad treats my mother and I
Citizen Erased Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 What my father has taught me... that when children grow up the man they trusted and respected above all others turns out to be a selfish, lying hypocritical a$$ who only cares about himself. That he was willing to fight for custody only out of spite towards my mother, but when he has to actually be a parent then he dumps us on whoever is closest. That even though he was never willing to spend money on clothes or anything for his three children, he will on his 30 year old wife, as well as taking long vacation 6 times a year leaving my little brother at home to take care of himself instead of including him with their little family.
monkey00 Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 Barely. My dad doesnt care about anything other than his job and tv, my mom did all the work at raising and caring for me and my siblings. I understand he was the youngest in his family which may play some part in his character. But in any case he's still my dad, and im still greatful he put a roof over our heads with his job. Some studies show that character traits are hereditary. And for that I wouldnt be surprised if i shared minimal tendencies of my dad.
madgun68 Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 My father was never around. That's what I remember when I try to think of him when I was growing up. He was either at work or sleeping. I've spent most of my life giving in to the will of others in the hopes that they'll see that I'm a good person to keep around.. To feel appreciated. I guess when it comes down to it, I've been trying to prove my worth to others in the hopes that they'll somehow fill an emotional void my father left behind. Truthfully, I know that he cared.. But knowing it and feeling it aren't the same thing.
mockeryjones Posted June 6, 2007 Posted June 6, 2007 my dad was the bedrock of my life growing up. he was always the one home from work early enough to have a relationship with me. he coached my teams, took me to practices, helped me with homework, and generally took care of all the child raising duties that my mother could never find the time or inclination to attempt. he taught me that honor and loyalty are the most important qualities a man can have. he taught me to listen before i speak and that being quiet is not an indication of weakness so much as it is an indication of wisdom. he taught me that learning is the most important thing we can do in life. he taught me that no matter what happens, a man respects women and never raises a hand to one no matter how much she might deserve it. he also taught me to stand my ground and that often being right and doing right are completely different animals.
axisdenied Posted June 7, 2007 Posted June 7, 2007 Good topic, Rio. I've met my father twice. Existence of father confirmed. No 'nurture' type influence but, well, my mother tells me that I am almost exactly like him. Look like him, conduct myself like him, have his sense of humor, ect, ect. A huge victory for genetics.
marlena Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 My father: The most pig - headed, opinionated and egotistical man who I seriously believe invented the expression, "My way or the highway"! My deceased father who is very much alive and "kicking" with every breath I take. A warrior. Not the fascist occupation of his country nor the civil strife that followed could defeat him. Or the extreme poverty he had to suffer. Determined to achieve his goals at whatever cost. He borrowed money and emmigrated to the Unites States with an emaciated wife and three very hungry children and another one growing in his wife's belly when he crossed the Atlantic Ocean and wound up on ellis Island being disinfected. Before leaving he lovingly took with him a fistful of his native land and vowed to himself three himself which he fully accomplished through hard labour and sheer obstinancy. 1) I will make money. My family will never need for anything anymore! 2) My children will be educated so that they can build a better future for themselves. 3) I will return to my nativeland with my family with me! He accomplished all three and much more! He taught me integrity. The value of tradition. The meaning of family. The virtue of hard work. To laugh in the face of disaster. He also taught me: How to dance. And tell jokes. And respect the food on the table. And esteem friendship. And work hard. He was tough but was always the better person. Quick to say I'm sorry. Even quicker to enfold you in his arms. This is and was my Dad!
marlena Posted June 8, 2007 Posted June 8, 2007 My father: This is and was my Dad! NO, THIS IS MY DAD!!
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