riobikini Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 In recognition of the upcoming Father's Day -in what ways has your father influenced your life? Post whatever you like. -Rio
JackJack Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Good thread Rio. He has taught me to not be overly prideful. To love and care about people as well as myself. To not hold on to past anger and things in which I have little or no control over. He has been my rock, and has influenced me to try to do my best in life.
quankanne Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 showed me how to be independent, and to not let anything stand in the way of my dreams. Also inherited his irreverent sense of humor.
underpants Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 I posted another thread with these same thoughts. I guess brought on by the combination of upcoming Father's Day, my aging father, and my observations of people I know and how their own paths' (and how mine) may be coorelate to childhood examples. Sorry to repeat a post but Rio said it was okay... If girls grow up to love men like their fathers...... Then I think I might be doomed. My Dad is a great man. My personal hero. He is far from perfect but has integrity for miles and I can honestly say ...he has never done any terrible thing, even in the face of sometimes what must have been excruciating agony. (having his wife/my mom of over 20 years leave him, having not one but two sons die, having his own Mom die, finding a way to be a stay at home Dad and raise 3 children on his own and still pay the bills, and those are what I can think of right now). I guess if you live long enough you get to experience it all. I only ever saw him drink once. He was depressed sitting in our yard looking out over ....a cemetary (yes, our backyard was adjacent to one, the same one my brothers are buried in). This was after my Mom left and I was too little to really know anything more then that my Dad was sad and drinking a weird soda. My damage may be that I had to choose between my parents, but I made the right choice. I loved, and still do love my Mom, but my Dad was the better choice. Although I was a kid, I knew leaving him too would probably just destroy him. I just guess, I was lucky. I was raised with no bad words, no drinking, no infidelities. Maybe some terrible food, unreasonable curfews, and the occasional embarrassing lesson of having to own up to a mistake here and there. A small price to pay, for the ultimate good it did me...(well, except for some of that food). My Dad has long ago since remarried and has been with his 2nd wife for longer then my Mom. He might be boring at times and his his 2nd wife I am sure has a laundry list of faults, but he is, at the end of the day.....a good man. I am proud of my Dad. Also, I am seriously afraid that they don't make men like that any more, and that is a shame. Thanks Rio for allowing me to honor my Dad, even if for a second time.
polywog Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Well, despite the fact that he died when I was 5 (which of course has had a big impact!) he had a major impact on my life during the time I was with him, and from who he was. He was a sociology professor and a civil rights activist, deeply involved in desegregation in the '50s and early '60s. He grew up in WV in a very loving, but very provincial and somewhat racist (white, of course) family. Enlisting in the army for WW2 changed his life, as it did for so many men. He got to mix with people he'd never have known otherwise, and combined with his compassionnate nature and sense of justice, he found his calling as a humanist and activist, as well as the drive to become educated. He instigated several sting operations to bust places that were segregated, and was an outspoken and active proponent of pointing out unfairness in race, class, and other inequalities. The universities he taught at were always trying to tamp him down as a result, but there was never a good reason to fire him. His students adored him and he was a great teacher. He was an upstart! He was actually in trouble for trying to call the university he taught at at the time of his death on housing inequality for black students. After he died, some other profs carried the torch and solved the problem, but he was the one who started it all. Anyhow (sorry, long post!) the one incident that really got me as a kid was this; there was an ant hill next to our back stoop that I was fascinated by, and I'd spend hours watching it. I discovered that when I stamped on it the ants would get into a big panic, and would scurry around carrying the wounded and dead ants, and try to figure out how to defend their hill. My dad saw me killing the ants for entertainment, and gave me the most eloquent speech about killing for no reason, etc. I still remember the image of him towering over me as I was crouched next to that anthill, in his suit, not belittling me, but convincing me that I was doing something wrong by killing creatures for no good reason. That man, my dad, was a force for good. And a huge, wonderful influence on who I am now. I'm grateful.
2sunny Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 i wish he was still here to celebrate thi day! he was an amazing man - i do miss him a lot...
Woggle Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My father and I don't have the best relationship but all in all he is not a horrible person. I have forgiven him for being my mother's doormat but to me he is an example of what I don't want to be. We can talk and get along right now but I doubt we will ever have that bond.
IpAncA Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 In recognition of the upcoming Father's Day -in what ways has your father influenced your life? He's made me just like him and I'm confused more about it then ever.
polywog Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 He's made me just like him and I'm confused more about it then ever. Hmmm... care to explain?
KittenMoon Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My dad isn't an emotional guy and can come off as a jerk and a harda$$, but I know he can also be a huge softie (like a lot of emotional guarded people, he's very attached to our animals). But all flaws aside, he's taught me not to put up with BS, cut to the chase w/o wasting time, and how to find ways to show affection and love even if you're not good at it or it embarasses you. I think he was a big influence in not growing up to be a "mind games" kinda girl (since he'd never put up with that crap for a minute), which I think is pretty damn good.
Storyrider Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My dad has had both positive and negative influences. I was always a Daddy's girl when young but since having kids I can relate more to what my mom was going through. He has a lot of insight into people and human behavior and can be fun to talk to because he likes to philosophize and pick things apart. He worked in juvenile justice for many years and helped a lot of troubled youth. He is an extremely handsome and athletic guy, and whenever I look at his HS yearbook I think he is the best-looking guy in it (may be biased, though). Think Paul Newman mixed with Clint Eastwood and a dash of The Fonz. He was the calmer and more subdued of my two parents, and he was never harsh or judgemental when I screwed up, which was frequent. I have inherited from him my introspective mind, my sometimes calm-ish demeanor, and dry sense of humor, but also some neurotic behaviors and bad spelling. Unfortunately, my dad made fun of my mom a lot when we were growing up, mostly for stupid things, like giving him the wrong kind of sandwich. He made me think my mom was a complete airhead, when in fact he was just picking on her for his own entertainment. He can be a hard person to live with. He demands that things be done his way and can be very argumentative, but in the big picture he is a good father and husband.
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My father is amazing but then, so is my mother. No bias of course... He's a man with honour, who's intelligent and has a wicked sense of humour. I wouldn't trade my father for anyone in the world. You should see my mother and father together. Talk about people who are ideal for each other.
ash519 Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My Father! He has taught me that even if you have a family it's ok to sleep with the next door nieghbor and that sending a check each month should compensate for the damage that has been done. Yeah, my trust issues stem from my father. He cheated repeatedly on my Mom (he was a marine/engineer), and then he had an affair with the neighbor and that is more his family now than we are. I had to live with him for a while and I ended up getting pregnant at 20. He wanted me out, he'd say it all the time. Then I miscarried, was terribly miserable about it...he was cold. Gave me a quick "I'm sorry about that" and that was that. I do love my Dad. Sometimes i find it hard because of the past and how he would never side with me over my step mother, but he is my Dad. He is emotionless. I have seen him sad once. He makes jokes at other's expenses like my brothers and me....actually hurts my 27 year old brothers feelings. Financially he has been there my entire life. Happy Fathers Day!
Quinch Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My dad has been a brilliant politican and done lots of great work for the people here but that has often been at the expense of his family. He never taught me to ride a bike or go fishing and we've never been drinking buddies. We are very different people - it's not that we don't get on but we have almost nothing in common. Sometimes I think I must have been adopted (wry smile). He's not a bad person at all and puts up with a lot so I respect him but I wouldn't want to be too much like him - especially if I ever have children of my own.
Pyro Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Not to sound bitter because I hope that everyone realizes that I am not, but my Dad has not influenced me. We don't have that great of a relationship. I have caught him in many lies and he has lied to me many of times. His past track record isn't great either. So I shall turn a negative into a positive by saying that his behavior has influenced me to know what not to do with my life and it is a constant reminder to stay away from drugs and to succeed in life. OK, rant is over.
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Not to sound bitter because I hope that everyone realizes that I am not, but my Dad has not influenced me. We don't have that great of a relationship. I have caught him in many lies and he has lied to me many of times. His past track record isn't great either. So I shall turn a negative into a positive by saying that his behavior has influenced me to know what not to do with my life and it is a constant reminder to stay away from drugs and to succeed in life. OK, rant is over. Good for you. Many people become their parents even knowing their parents were not positive influences. You have to be honest with yourself and realize that their way is not for the best and then be willing to make that positive adjustment. It's a hard road to take and surely is a very painful admission. I should quantify what I said about my father and mother. They are such a cohesive unit that sometimes, it's difficult to describe the two as separate individuals. My sibs and I used to call their cohesion, the wall of frowns. As you can guess, this happened when we were in trouble...
sb129 Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 TBF your parents sound great! I inherited alot of things from my dad, both good and bad, but I know what they are, and hopefully recognise the bad stuff enough to not let it affect me the way it can still affect him sometimes. I have also inherited his sense of humour, his generosity and his loyalty.
Trialbyfire Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Thanks sb, they are awesome. Once again, not that I'm biased in any way... I must admit that they took no crap from us. It's probably why my sibs and I tend to be "take no prisoner kids".
Art_Critic Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My Dad passed away over 20 years ago and we did not have a great relationship but, He gave me the talent I have in my hands today to make a living, He showed me how to become more than my potential, He gave me the opportunity to be successful in business although the hard work was mine he put it in front of me, He gave me my incredible work ethic that makes me a great boss. He gave me the ability to be able to create, fix, repair or build anything of any type.. wood.. electronics..software.. whatever..all of it comes from his hands to mine.. My wit, intellect, personality and basic physical frame came from him.. He was hands down the best Artist I have ever seen paint.. Even today his 35 years of work are not even to be touched by some of todays best digital artists in my industry. The down side.. He was a horrible father but he loved me and my family. He cheated on my Mothers and made a terrible negative impact on all of our lives. He fathered children while being married to my Mom therby creating one of my sisters..( my sister is not a down side though..only the pain that happened from his actions.) He treated me with disrespect and also treated all of my sisters and mothers with disrespect. The good side of the down side is that I learned so much about how to not treat people from his shining examples, I in short became better because of his shortcomings, I don't go to his grave anymore and when I go to see my Step Mom I make sure to tell him that I'm NOT there to see him... why ?.. I don't know.. it makes me feel better some how. But..... I still miss him today.. all these years later I wish I still was waking up going to work with him there by my side.
whichwayisup Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Who I am has alot to do with my dad. He was a giving, kind and gentle man, alot of fun, silly and crazy when we were growing up a little kids. My childhood was a happy one, filled with lots of good memories. We went to tons of hockey games together!! My father died in 1993 of lung cancer. It makes me sad that he isn't around to see my nieces and nephews grow up. He would have adored them all and spoiled them big time!! My oldest nephew was about 2 years old when my dad died, so atleast he got to meet one grandchild.
IpAncA Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Hmmm... care to explain? Na. It's very hard to explain. But thanks for asking .
Pyro Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Good for you. Many people become their parents even knowing their parents were not positive influences. You have to be honest with yourself and realize that their way is not for the best and then be willing to make that positive adjustment. It's a hard road to take and surely is a very painful admission. I should quantify what I said about my father and mother. They are such a cohesive unit that sometimes, it's difficult to describe the two as separate individuals. My sibs and I used to call their cohesion, the wall of frowns. As you can guess, this happened when we were in trouble... Thanks TBF. Your parents seem like a rarity in todays age.
EricOnTheWeb Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My old man showed me that a simple life can be the best life...he never demanded much from me,and just let me grow into my own likings.. He doesn't care about the latest tech or if something is perfect...He is happier building something himself than just buying it all done.. I wish I was more like him,but I am not..However he made me into the person that is polite and self diciplined.
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