ChampionSound Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My girlfriend's student immigration visa is running out, and so she has to go back to her country of origin in early July. We have been long distance for the last month because of my work, and she has told me that she doesn't want me to make a trip to visit her before she leaves because it would be 'too difficult' to go through losing me all over again. She can't re-immigrate until next spring, and I am unable to go to her country at all (although I would like to). So basically we both think that early July will be the end. Not by choice - but neither of us have what it takes to do long distance without visits for almost a year. We have been together since last September, although I wouldn't say I was sure of my feelings until November or so. We talk every day on the phone. The thing is this - I don't understand why she won't see me before she leaves. Maybe it will be the end. But I'm a big believer in the old saying 'true love will find a way'. She called me today angry and in tears, saying that some girl had called for me on the cell I left her. She also went back through my old text messages and found some incriminating notes from last November in which I had asked a girl to come visit me at my house. I didn't do anything with the girl in November, but she insists that this is an additional reason that she shouldn't see me before she leaves. To complicate things, she is living in my apartment. Not just by herself, but with 2 friends - one male and one female who she is letting stay with her as a favor. Actually they are all sleeping in my queen size bed which I found weird but let go as just cultural differences and youth. So obviously this could complicate a breakup. I have had lots of reasons to break this off myself - I called her one night when she had been drinking and she told me she had been doing drugs again and even had talked to someone about the possibility of doing escort work. That hurt a lot, and shook my faith that this girl actually loves me. But we talked it out, and I'm ok now. So what, if anything can I do? She may eventually forgive me for the text messages, but I think she is using it as an excuse to distance herself from me at a convenient time. And I still don't understand why she won't see me before she leaves - I offered to buy a ticket to see her for two weeks. She refused, but said that if I wanted she would come and visit me here for a week or less before she left. Does this make any sense?
BohemeRose Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 What countries are you two from? Anyway, it almost sounds like there's something she's trying to hide where she is now, although I don't want to put negative thoughts in your head. She might just want to come see you where you are because there would be more privacy, being that two other people apparently share a bed with her. Which I say is pretty odd, myself.
Author ChampionSound Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 She's from Colombia and I'm from Canada. She is 11 years younger than me. I hadn't thought of the privacy thing, but the guy is only staying a few more days, and I had expected that we could help the girl find something else because well... it is my apartment. Actually she told me that the two friends ended up having sex in my bed after going out to the bar one night with her... She slept in the other room that night, she says. Can you tell I'm confused?
BohemeRose Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 My boyfriend is from Canada and I'm in the US. Not as big a distance as you and your girl but yeah. Yay Canada! Anyway...yes, I'm a bit confused, myself. But really, when it comes to LDRs all you can really do is trust... ...And tell those other people not to have sex in your bed. And just ask her why she's willing to come to you but you can go to her. There could be a perfectly rational explanation, like the privacy issue.
Poboy Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 i think she has more or less accepted the fact of the two of you moving away and she might not be intrested in the long distance thing. so she is trying to find an excuse of not meeting you now and basically , lessen the pain of moving away.
Author ChampionSound Posted June 7, 2007 Author Posted June 7, 2007 Thanks for the replies. I spoke with her about this again yesterday and she said again that it would hurt too much to see me in my home city, but that she would like to come and visit me where I am working. Actually she threatened to switch her flight date back to Colombia to an earlier date if I come back to visit her. In some ways I can kind of see what she's saying: she doesn't want to get familiar with me again in the same place as we were before as it could be more difficult to leave. But overall, it makes no sense to me. So after a sleepless night, I decided to take time off work, book a flight for today and will be surprising her, against her wishes at my apartment tonight. Can you say drama? Wow.
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