smookie Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 I broke the nc with my ex, then he started to say things about his new girlfriend, he did not recieve the reaction that he wanted so then a few days later he came to my house and started to talk down about her. I still care about him and love to be with him but he is really hurting over her, I do not know what to say to him to get him to see what she is doing to him.... I told him I would never talk to him again if he goes back to her... should I forget about him and keep t he nc going? there is so much drama in his life now that it is crazy....
WhiteKnight Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Well to be honest with you Smookie, you have some choices on your hands here but sometimes you will find it hard. If you respect your ex's relationship with his current partner, which it sounds like you do... and to add the complication that you know something is wrong with his current partner and whatever the reason is, you are worried about your ex's future and all. I would suggest that you would be there for your ex and inform him in the way that regardless whatever the outcome may be that you would be his friend and you would not interfere in their lives. Also you could explain that your point of what you thought about this current partner had been made and you can't force him to believing what you know and perhaps justify it with that you would rather let him see it for himself to prove if you were right or wrong later down the track. If regardless what you see or heard about your ex's partner is true or not. You can't do much because you have already explained about it. I think that a most appropriate email to your ex directly would explain a few things and always clear the doubt that you still want to be friends with him but perhaps an online friendship would do you good, rather than seeing in person for the time being. In my opinion from experience, try not to contradict yourself in terms of that you love and care for him whereas if your ex had decided to go back to his current partner over against your friendship with him. I think you shouldn't come across that harsh about deciding if he were to go back to his partner and lose your friendship with him, I think it would demoralise him and including you. However a supportive 'ear' who will listen to your ex's problems, you would be able to support him in a way to find a way to get out of all the whole mess he has been through. To be honest having friendships with an ex who has moved onto someone else, is rather delicate here. If the "EX" wants to be your friend only, there are certain limitations of what you and your ex can do, that is... if you want to prove your loyalities to your partner that is and value the friendship between your ex. Although I think what you should do is that, tell your ex you value his friendship with you and let him make his own decision to find out whatever his partner is doing is true or not. If he doesn't believe you at first... of course he would defend his partner, regardless of that, if he uncovers what your accusations or whatever you implied to make him believe what you are saying is true, then... your ex, if he has the guts... would apologise to you that he was wrong and you were right. Sometimes you have to accept that your ex would refuse to listen to you now and then. Believe me, I've had this happened to me before a few times but 9 times out of 10, one of my exes... she would apologise to me and even since then, we had become the best of friends thus far.
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