Citizen Erased Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Okay so wow. I just found out on the weekend that the man who made my life absolutely miserable for 4 years just died. My mum left my dad for this man (I will call him Paul) and I chose to live with my mum and Paul when my parents divorced. Unfortunately Paul was an alcoholic who taunted me, yelled at me, just generally made me feel unwanted in my own home (my mum kept the house my dad had paid for as per divorce settlement). We had to handle his drinking, his endless lectures on how perfect he is etc etc. I ended up leaving home at 17 because I pretty much had a breakdown and it was either I leave or strangle him in his sleep. In december Paul had a car accident (5 times over the legal limit btw - was technically dead) and had to go into rehab because he thought it would make the judge lenient. Pretty much, he got out of rehab and kept drinking so my mum broke up with him. He physically assualted her, she called the cops, no more Paul. My mum has finally moved on,she has a new boyfriend who is great and her and Paul were coming to an agreement over their assets. Anyway so he died... at the pub of course. Heart attack. At the age of 50. He went to hell like I told him to so many times. My mum was finally moving on, he couldn't do anything to her anymore. She is now a mess, thankfully she has her new bf who is really supportive. Okay so the thing is, my whole family hated the man. My sister barely even spoke to my mum for the 7 years she was with Paul. My grandmother wouldn't even let him in her house. Yet they are in some way saddened by this. I, however, am not. When my mum told me I was relieved he was gone. I was happy he died. I feel so terrible, what kind of person am I? He died alone, no family, no friends, just his precious alcohol, and I am pleased by this. I am sad for my mum and his children, but other then that I am positive he got what was coming to him. I used to always think to myself whenever he would go at me for, gee I don't know, breathing, he will die alone and in pain. Now it has happened I am perfectly fine with it.
polywog Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Wow, darlin. Do you feel as if you are supposed to feel bad about it? From your description of him he made life hell for you and your family. I don't know, I've never been in your shoes, but if you don't feel bad I certainly understand!
Trialbyfire Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Keep in mind that people don't always express their true feelings when someone has passed away. We are taught not to say bad things about the dead. Your mother probably does have some residual feelings for the man but the rest of your family are probably saddened for your mother's sake. If I were to walk a mile in your shoes, I wouldn't feel bad. I don't see that you need to.
halfarock Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 After my parents divorced, my mom married a man who I can best describe as an *********. Every time I went to visit my mom he would just sit there and complain about me and my kids and usually in the most crudest of terms. It got to were I told my mom that I would never visit her again until either she divorced him or he died. So, for like seven years or so I didn’t go visit my mom although we talked on the phone and she did come to visit me a couple of times. When her husband died I was so happy I celebrated. But, because of him, I’ll probably never have a close relationship with my mom ever again.
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