forbidden fruit Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 I met with MM to talk and of course you all know how it turned out. It opened all of my old wounds and we got nowhere. I knew I should of not met with him and everyone told me not too. I did not listen because i think there is a little bit of hope that he will say what I want him to hear or he will be the person I want him to be. We talked for three hours and he told me he loved me and that he was not leaving because of his child and he did not want to hurt my H or kids. I told him he already hurt them and I did do when we had an affair. Anyways bottom line he told me I was his best friend and he did want to lose me and I told him we are strictly neighbors and we will never talk like this again. He told me to basically grow up and accept while we do love each other we cannot be together without hurting too many people and we should be friends rather than nothing at all. At least we could see each other everyday.He said why do we go through these periods of NC and why do I not see the reality of the sitauation. I simply walked away from him and now he is calling all the time and wants me to call him back. I do love him and I feel all exposed again , but I know what I have to do. Please try to be not so harsh today is my b-day.
ruby_gloom Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 happy birthday. i hope that this new year ahead of you allows you to walk in the right direction and brings you forth much real happiness.
Onelife Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Happy Birthday Forbidden fruit. I wish this new year will bring you a long lasting happiness.
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 You know what needs to be done now. You hold the key to your own prison. The best birthday present you could give yourself is to use it.
whichwayisup Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 I met with MM to talk and of course you all know how it turned out. It opened all of my old wounds and we got nowhere. I knew I should of not met with him and everyone told me not too. I did not listen because i think there is a little bit of hope that he will say what I want him to hear or he will be the person I want him to be. I wish that you'd really realize that he isn't the person you want him to be. And, even if he was, what then? Neither of you have any intention of ending your marriages, so at the end of the day, it kind of seems pointless unless you want to continue hurting yourself and betraying your H. We talked for three hours and he told me he loved me and that he was not leaving because of his child and he did not want to hurt my H or kids. I told him he already hurt them and I did do when we had an affair. Did you tell your H that you talked to the exMM? Anyways bottom line he told me I was his best friend and he did want to lose me and I told him we are strictly neighbors and we will never talk like this again. He told me to basically grow up and accept while we do love each other we cannot be together without hurting too many people and we should be friends rather than nothing at all. At least we could see each other everyday.He said why do we go through these periods of NC and why do I not see the reality of the sitauation. Tough sh.it for him. Part of consquence of ending the affair IS losing the friendship that once was, he needs to shut-up and get over it, and stop pushing any sort of friendship on you. It's better for you NOT to have him in your life, just a hello and goodbye, wave etc, that's IT. Anything other than will just prevent you (and him) from letting go and moving on from the affair. I simply walked away from him and now he is calling all the time and wants me to call him back. I do love him and I feel all exposed again , but I know what I have to do. Please try to be not so harsh today is my b-day. Do not call him back. Tell your husband you spoke to him and also maybe it's time your husband had a conversation with him, so the exMM can CLEARLY understand the rules he is NEVER to try to call/talk to you again on a personal level. Keep going this way and your H WILL inform the exMM's wife what has been going on. Sorry, I hope that wasn't harsh... Hope you have a nice birthday!
Author forbidden fruit Posted June 6, 2007 Author Posted June 6, 2007 You know what needs to be done now. You hold the key to your own prison. The best birthday present you could give yourself is to use it. Your right I have been in my prison. I purposely went out of my way to not be where he was today. He called me on Friday and told me to call him, but I did not. I know what is the point. When does the hurt and feelings go away? I know everyone will say there is no way you could of loved him, but I did. The way that is very bad for oneself. The kind of love you would sacrifice anything and not think about anything else. Time to wake up to reality. I keep very busy, but honestly he is on my mind all the time and I miss him even after we have been through. I know we are done and whether he doesn't think so doesn't matter. When does you heart catch up with your brain? I just feel so low because I am making the choice to not have him in my life not him.
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