SadForever Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 how many relationships break up with the one or both of the parties still feeling in love? i'm not sure which feels worse, breaking up while still in love or breaking up with anger and hating the other person. if you break up when there is still love, isnt there a chance of always having the slightest bit of hope in the back of your mind that it could work out, some day some how?
Freedom Now Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 When I broke up with my ex about a year ago, it wasn't due to a lack of love on either of our parts. He loved me and still does to this day. Yes, I hear from him from time to time....actually, pretty often. And I was deeply in love when we parted, but the relationship was toxic to me. You see: he didn't tell me he was married until after I had fallen in love with him. And I have no tolerance for emotional pain. I had to leave. So, I did. And it took me months to heal from this. But, I am healed. But the hope was deadly to me. I had to kill all hope of us being together to completely heal. He, however, still clings to the hope that someday we will be together. I do not, though. And yes, it is excruciatingly hard to walk away when both people care very deeply for each other. Very, very hard.
thelucky7star Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Being in love and breaking up is the worst. I know for a fact that my boyfriend still loves me and that we are meant for eachother. However, he got a case of cold feet and needs to "clear his head"....I just want to shake him and tell him to wake up!!! I don't want to go on with my life without him in it!
hrtbroken99 Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 I would have to say that breaking up when there is still love on BOTH sides is VERY hard. My ex broke up with me 6months ago and it was sort of mututal (although he wanted it more, the distance was becoming a problem) when he was breaking up with me he kept telling me stuff about how strong his feelings were for me....and yes...no anger on both our sides...gosh if he had told me he was leaving me for someone else or some other thing at least I could use that as a reason to hate him!!! but it is really hard and I still LOVE him and it sux...and yes I do still have my "hope" that maybe one day we might reconnect because our breakup was not over cheating, abuse, leaving for someone else, etc. . but who knows...it sux and it is really hard to cope even months later!!!!
Phoebe Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 I would say definately harder when there's still love there. Love isn't enough though. When I got married I thought that would be enough to see us through, it wasn't. Trust is an important one, respect is another good one and being able to depend on each other. I think everyone hurts more when there's still love there.
Author SadForever Posted June 4, 2007 Author Posted June 4, 2007 where there is love its hard not to have hope. i wonder if by having no contact, it will reduce chances of feeding that hope, whether conscious or unconscious. that little bit of hope is agonizing.
phaedrus069 Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Well, my breakup was largely one way. I think the difference between one person breaking your heart and two people choosing to stay apart are two separate types of pain. When one person ends a relationship, the other feels the pain of rejection and the angst of unrequited love. At least that's how I feel. Not having been in the other situation, here are my thoughts. When two people breakup, there is a shared loss. The feelings of rejection of less, but I imagine that the feeling that you're missing out on something amazing is even worse. You know the possibilities, and the other person does also. As your not pining for something you couldn't have, your mourning something you could. That sounds particularly painful. Either way...it hurts.
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