kali420 Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I dated someone from work. It is usually divided when it comes to the outcome of those relationships. Either its a happy ending or or a horriffic one. We only dated for a short time. I kind of fell for her towards the end. I was never one to tell a woman that I loved her. I never reached that point in a relationship. My past three ended similiarly. Short. They dug me a whole lot and then all of a sudden they lost interest. I had a hard time letting go of this past girlfriend. I started drinking a lot. I even had to move on to another job becuase I couldn't work at the same place with her. It didn't end ugly. Its just that I'm used to just not having any contact with my ex's. I have past ex's that I am in good standing with still. But those relationships ended a long time ago. I'm eleven years younger than this woman. My last day there I went golfing with her. I got hammered and I kind of embarassed myself. I had planned to have a heart to heart with her to tell her how I felt. Maybe even become friends. I blew that opporutnity. I don't think I can be her friend. I just had feelings for her that she didn't have for me. I started my new job. I was looking at life a whole lot differently. I was postive for once in a really long time. I find out she's dating someone from my old job, younger than me. That was the reason she broke up with me because I was younger. So I was devestated. I ran into them at a party. We talked. She said she didn't do this to hurt me. She introduced him to her family. She said "do you think i'm proud that I'm with someone much younger than me?". I just couldn't understand it. The worst of that was we all went to a strip club afterwards, and I was watching them be all intimate. I was drunk, trippin', and I thought they were talking about me and I went up to them saying, "are you guys talking about me? well, im cool with it, congatulations, im happy for you two" in a sarcastic kind of way. They said they were talking about the guy behing them. Embarassed myslef again. I watched them getting even more intimate. I was just crushed and heart broken. I thought seeing them together would make me stronger, but it back fired. Am I immature for not being able to handle this? Am I a loser for not getting over her even though it was eight months ago? Am I selfish for not being happy that she found someone else? She told me I had eight months to find someone else. And if I did, I would not have cared that she hooked up with this guy that I knew from before. That may be right. I still had feelings for her. I think I did love her. I didn't tell her. She mentioned that I didn't tell her I loved her. This is all true. But, I feel like out mutual friends won't even invite me out anymore because they know I'm trippin. These are the best friends I've made so far here. I talked to everyone I know. It kind of helps knowing people care. They tell me I'm a great guy. She doesn't deserver me. I guess I blocked all that out becasue I hear it so much. I'm sure I'll get over it, but was wondering if anyone else has shared this situation, and if so, what will help me get over this?
bbanks Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 I can't say that I've shared that same situation but I can tell you from experience that most of the ex's look much more attractive when they are with someone else. I've had some go out with another and wind up marrying them..that stings a bit, but I've had others who didn't last too long in their new relationship and try to come back. As far as the age thing, don't let it bother you. I used to go out with older women more often than not. In order to get over my last one, I had to tell myself that they are that much closer to death than I am.
Author kali420 Posted June 4, 2007 Author Posted June 4, 2007 I think it is more of this situation that I am concerned with. I know it was a long time ago. I just can't over the fact that she is dating someone I know. And that he is everything that she broke up with me for. What does that say about me? All the friends I made out there, I am questioning if they are my friends because of her. I am lettting this take over my life. I am letting this depression take over me. I do agree that I did not see a future with the both of us....I think I might have fallen in love, and failed to tell her. I'm wondering if that wouldve changed anything. The past is the past. It is what it is. I still can't get it through my broken heart.
norajane Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Well, put down the 420 and stop all this introspection! Thinking about it endlessly is what is making you depressed, and is keeping you stuck in the broken-hearted place. It's been 8 months. You've examined the past to death in minute detail and have gleaned all the insights you can. It's summer. Go out and meet some new people, do some new things, get a fresh perspective on your life. She is NOT the only woman out there, and she is most definitely NOT the only woman you can love. But you have to accept she's not the right one for you before you can let anyone else in. If she were the right one for you, she'd be with you.
Author kali420 Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 Thanks for the advice Norajane. I have been thinking about it so much. I have been overanlyzing this to the extreme. That is why I got down on myself so hard. I know shes not the one for me, it still hurts to know she would go date someone I know though.
bbanks Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 I broke up with a girl back in 2000 and shortly after that I found out that she was dating someone that I knew pretty well. It really sucked..I mean really sucked to think that I actually introduced the two of them. What made it worse was that deep in my heart I knew that they were meant for each other and that it was probably a good thing for her. They got married in 2002 and it hurt like a son of a bitch...even two years later when I was dating someone else. I still see the guy at work from time to time and just today I had a conversation with him about how the child was doing (now 5 years old) I have no feelings about it any more but it is still a bit weird. I think that you will get over it in time..I think that I wasted too much time not letting go and I think that might be a good thing for you to do...
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