bbanks Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 This is my first post here in this community but I am glad that I found it as it has helped me a bit. Maybe my story will help others as well. Here's my story. Dated a girl (woman) for three years and last March we broke up. Though I don't know exactly who would be considered the dumper or dumpee, we maintained LC for the past year. I was working on my Masters Degree during that year and my mother was also terminally ill. These two situations really took up all of my time and we lived about 30 minutes apart. As I said, we remained "freinds" and did talk from time to time but didn't really see each other until my mother passed away in October. She was very supportive of me and I really needed it as I have very few friends. Anyhow, during that year, I'm pretty sure that I was too depressed to even think about a relationship (I haven't dated anyone since) and even though she asked me if I thought we might get back together, I actually just blew off the question. My intention (I thought) was to deal with my mother and finish school (in two weeks) and assess the relationship with her because I really do love her and value her friendship. Back in April, I learned that she was dating someone new and now I feel as though I have lost everything. We talked a few weeks ago and she said that everything happens for a reason and that I would meet someone new also. Its funny because technically we haven't been together in over a year but I guess in my mind we were. Now I feel that horrible pain when a relationship first ends. I find myself thinking "if I only.." way too many times to count. Its funny that when we are done with someone, we tend to re-live all the good times..when we met, first dates, concerts, movies, sleeping together, family functions etc. The bad times all seem to disappear. This person is sort of a high-profile person in the community and is on TV quite often so that makes my situation even worse. It is very hard to move on when I can simply google her and find out more than I want to know. I also know that the new guy is a semi high-profile musicain in the area and I certainly pale in comparison to him, I know there is no chance of reconciliation. I find myself hoping they don't work out but I really do want the best for her so I don't do it too often. I guess the moral of this story is that if you love someone, tell them. If you don't want to lose them, don't waste time. Someone else might find the jewel that you have discarded...
Double D Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Hi BBanks! You have an interesting story and particulary like the part about reharshing all the good times and the if onlys. Its a difficult one. In essance I agree absoulutely if you love someone tell them but if they dont love you back or dont want to be with you after declaring your love thats a b-i-t-c-h and leaves you incredibly vunerable. What other things do you think youve learnt about your relationship with her? Good and bad. And sorry about you mother. Hope your coping alright with all things being considered.
Mountain_Donkey Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 This is my first post here in this community but I am glad that I found it as it has helped me a bit. Maybe my story will help others as well. Here's my story. Dated a girl (woman) for three years and last March we broke up. Though I don't know exactly who would be considered the dumper or dumpee, we maintained LC for the past year. I was working on my Masters Degree during that year and my mother was also terminally ill. These two situations really took up all of my time and we lived about 30 minutes apart. As I said, we remained "freinds" and did talk from time to time but didn't really see each other until my mother passed away in October. She was very supportive of me and I really needed it as I have very few friends. Anyhow, during that year, I'm pretty sure that I was too depressed to even think about a relationship (I haven't dated anyone since) and even though she asked me if I thought we might get back together, I actually just blew off the question. My intention (I thought) was to deal with my mother and finish school (in two weeks) and assess the relationship with her because I really do love her and value her friendship. Back in April, I learned that she was dating someone new and now I feel as though I have lost everything. We talked a few weeks ago and she said that everything happens for a reason and that I would meet someone new also. Its funny because technically we haven't been together in over a year but I guess in my mind we were. Now I feel that horrible pain when a relationship first ends. I find myself thinking "if I only.." way too many times to count. Its funny that when we are done with someone, we tend to re-live all the good times..when we met, first dates, concerts, movies, sleeping together, family functions etc. The bad times all seem to disappear. This person is sort of a high-profile person in the community and is on TV quite often so that makes my situation even worse. It is very hard to move on when I can simply google her and find out more than I want to know. I also know that the new guy is a semi high-profile musicain in the area and I certainly pale in comparison to him, I know there is no chance of reconciliation. I find myself hoping they don't work out but I really do want the best for her so I don't do it too often. I guess the moral of this story is that if you love someone, tell them. If you don't want to lose them, don't waste time. Someone else might find the jewel that you have discarded... If you were a chick, by sounds of your name- i bet you would have a camel toe. Word of advice- camel toes are NOT a good look...
Mountain_Donkey Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 You Know What... My moral to life is... wait for it..... wait for it... . . . . . .. ............... ................................. DON'T DIE!!
Author bbanks Posted June 4, 2007 Author Posted June 4, 2007 Hi BBanks! You have an interesting story and particulary like the part about reharshing all the good times and the if onlys. Its a difficult one. In essance I agree absoulutely if you love someone tell them but if they dont love you back or dont want to be with you after declaring your love thats a b-i-t-c-h and leaves you incredibly vunerable. What other things do you think youve learnt about your relationship with her? Good and bad. And sorry about you mother. Hope your coping alright with all things being considered. Thank you, I sort of feel like I lost my two best friends in a six month span. The good thing that I have learned is that I certainly need to change some things about myself to make future relationships more successful and bad..that love sucks sometimes. I have read many posts on these boards and there is one universal truth..you can't make someone love you or want to be with you. The best you can do is become the type of person that anyone would want to be with...
Double D Posted June 5, 2007 Posted June 5, 2007 Brilliantly put bbanks - could not agree with you more!
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