SBBW Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I realize all you guys are probably getting tired of me by now. But oh well. I find the dwowling I do here theraputic. I did something bad tonight. The freidn of my now ex friend always hangs out at this one bar on Saturday nights. So tonight I went down there. This guy is a friend of mine too, but he's a lot closer to her. Well, after alcohol losened my lips up all nice I did talk a lot of crap about her. I told him she had a real attitude problem in the band, that she played bad, and a few other things. I ended my conversation with him though by telling him I really do want to heal this rift I've created. God was that stupid of me... His loyalty is more to her then to me. I know everything I told him tonight will get back to her. So, anything you guys have to say. Go on and chew me out, I don't care.
Author SBBW Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 PS... he also told me some things that didn't sit too well with me about her. But we won't go into that right now.
Trimmer Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 ....I really do want to heal this rift I've created. ___ Why? ___
Author SBBW Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 Why? Because I feel like there would be a void in my life without her. She is my only close friend. Look, I can't say why I did the things I did to her, but after knowing her so long I didn't think this would end anything. In all the time I've know her we've never even argued, and now she has just dropped me. It's hard to get used to not having her around.
Great Gazoo Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Well if your lucky you wont get another angry email for starters. Look if she means that much to you why can't you just say your sorry. That bringing her in the band was a mistake and not for the reason that she sucked like you seem to keep saying but for the sole reason business and friendships don't mix. Send her a heartfelt email saying YOU are sorry things are the way they are now. That you admit that you have some fault in this and all that you care about is remaining friends with her and repairing the friendship. If you can't do this then your friendship and bond with her were never that close anyways. Be a bigger person or let her go, let it go and move on and maybe you will find another friend who could deal with this part of you.
Trimmer Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I can't say why I did the things I did to her... I think you should address this question, because if she does allow you even the slightest chance to "get back in", this will probably be her first question, and you are going to have to convince her that you've given it some honest consideration, and that this has changed you. ...but after knowing her so long I didn't think this would end anything. ... and she isn't going to find that a very satisfying answer. Frankly, I don't see it happening (either her letting you back in, or you having a burst of introspective insight that would change your personality,) but that's just my guess. You will not only have to convince her to want to get past the betrayal of what has happened, but also that whatever you have to offer as a friend (be prepared to discuss...) is so positive that it makes it worth risking her trust in you again. I'm big on the "why" questions, because if you consider them honestly, I think they provide useful opportunities for introspection. If you are really up for the honest introspection here: why is she your only close friend? Or more to my point - since my question is really about you and not her - why don't you have other close friends?
Author SBBW Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 Well.. I moved here years ago from another state. Since then I've had a few "friendships." I became friends with one person shortly after moving here, but I found out I was only her last resort friend. When everyone else was busy and she was bored she called me. And then there is my husband's one friend's sister, who I go to the movies with once in a while. But once the movie is over she is gone and I don't talk to her again for months. It's ironic though... my first job here was at a supermarket and I met this person who has been the subject of all theses posts there. I just never befriended her. When I met her on the net we didn't even make the connection until some time later. It's hard to miss a girl working at a supermarket wearing leather pants and a Metallica shirt with pink hair... (yea the dress code was pretty relaxed.) I didn't attempt to be friends with her then because to be honest she intimidated me. Anyone who has the courage to dress like that in a small town supermarket obviously has some balls. And I thought she might be a little hard to handle. Then when I met her on the net I had no idea this was the leather chick from my first job. And I remember her from when I worked there, but she doesn't remember me. I tend to blend in the background. I see other people that I think are interesting, but I just can't get them interested in me. I meet people on the internet but I find it hard to trust them. I know by now this guy has probably told her everything. I saw her walking her dog the other day when I was coming home from work and I was tempted to pull over and ask her to get in so we could talk. But I figured her dog might pee in my car. This guy in the bar told me that her band has found a drummer. Now they have a whole lineup. So it's only a matter of time before they start playing out. I just hope she can handle it better then she handled things in my band.
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