MissKissNada_Gal Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]The guy that I am in a committed relationship with is a real sweet heart wen were on the fone and/or together in person. Hes text everyday just to see how I am etc etc. but, things have changed and ive been blowing it off. Hes really busy with school and final exams are this week, and I know theres a lot he has to do at our school. BuT, during our “spring break” wen we first started talking, and began dating, (one date) before we even began kissing, he used to ask me if he could call EVERY DAY, just do he could hear my voice. Ever since about two weeks after that, after we started getting back into school and what not. It seems more like I want him to callm then he does. This is pathetic for me, cause I used to think “god does he really have to hear my voice so much that he Has to call everyday.” Now its like, it takes 5 minutes to make a call!! Now, he calls about three times a week… but getting to the point, heres my latest example.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT] [sIZE=3][FONT=Times New Roman] We both have finals this week and are both trying to study hard for them. He textx me @ 1030 am saying “hey im studying all day everyday. Hope u slept good. Ill text u later. Have a good day. Xo.” (so of course being me I thought, ‘o he’ll probly end up calling cuz it’s a weekend and we haven’t talked on the fone In two days.)[/FONT][/sIZE] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]NOT. He ext me, not just text but its late. Who studies this long?!?! He text me at 1020 to ask how my studying went, and if I got a lot done. I just replied, “yes I got a lot done. Glad its over with for now but theres much more ahead, guess ur not calling tonite huh.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3](even tho I already knew cuz he would have just called. He replies, “no I cant. Still studyin. Have a good nite. Sweet dreams baby. Xoxo.” [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]ALRIGHT….we all know it only takes a few minutes to call and he could not have been studying all day and still @ 10 somethin wont call. Things have just changed.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3]Wuts wrong with him?[/sIZE][/FONT]
Star Gazer Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Maybe he doesn't know what a "fone" is, or "wen" to call.
norajane Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 The guy that I am in a committed relationship with is a real sweet heart wen were on the fone and/or together in person. Hes text everyday just to see how I am etc etc. but, things have changed and ive been blowing it off. Hes really busy with school and final exams are this week, and I know theres a lot he has to do at our school. BuT, during our “spring break” wen we first started talking, and began dating, (one date) before we even began kissing, he used to ask me if he could call EVERY DAY, just do he could hear my voice. Ever since about two weeks after that, after we started getting back into school and what not. It seems more like I want him to callm then he does. This is pathetic for me, cause I used to think “god does he really have to hear my voice so much that he Has to call everyday.” Now its like, it takes 5 minutes to make a call!! Now, he calls about three times a week… but getting to the point, heres my latest example: We both have finals this week and are both trying to study hard for them. He textx me @ 1030 am saying “hey im studying all day everyday. Hope u slept good. Ill text u later. Have a good day. Xo.” (so of course being me I thought, ‘o he’ll probly end up calling cuz it’s a weekend and we haven’t talked on the fone In two days.) NOT. He ext me, not just text but its late. Who studies this long?!?! He text me at 1020 to ask how my studying went, and if I got a lot done. I just replied, “yes I got a lot done. Glad its over with for now but theres much more ahead, guess ur not calling tonite huh. (even tho I already knew cuz he would have just called. He replies, “no I cant. Still studyin. Have a good nite. Sweet dreams baby. Xoxo.” ALRIGHT….we all know it only takes a few minutes to call and he could not have been studying all day and still @ 10 somethin wont call. Things have just changed. Wuts wrong with him? I fixed your post to make it more readable. Next time, please use paragraphs, and please do not copy and paste from some other place because that puts all those [tags] in your posts. And, if I may suggest, a little more studying might not be a bad idea, because your spelling, punctuation, sentence structure and grammar make it hard to figure out what you're trying to say. Anyway. In a new relationship, people get all caught up in each other and feel the need to call all the time and hear the other person's voice. Once you become more of a couple, it's not such a requirement because they no longer need that kind of constant reassurance and contact. So, you are probably right that things have changed in that you are no longer in the first stage of infatuation where he absolutely HAS to hear your voice every day. You can freak out about that if you want the drama, or you can accept that you have moved into the next phase of your relationship where you can relax and be comfortable without constantly questioning how you feel about each other. As for the rest, my guess is you are over-reacting a little. You assumed he would call when he only said he would text. You should not have assumed that - if you hadn't, you would have seen he texted when he said he would, and you wouldn't have been disappointed that he didn't call. Yes, he could still be studying. And, he might have done other things in between studying, like eating, going for a walk, watching TV, taking a nap, whatever. That's how a lot of people study, so it takes longer. Since it's finals, he probably didn't want the added distraction that talking to you would bring - studying is hard enough without wishing you were doing something else, like having fun with your gf. Try giving him the benefit of the doubt and relax.
Author MissKissNada_Gal Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 Maybe he doesn't know what a "fone" is, or "wen" to call. i see that was meant to be sacrcastic. no heart feeling "stargazer." i know how to spell.
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I agree, you need to relax. This whole relationship is pretty new! Enjoy it and get to know him without putting pressure and expectations on him and the relationship itself. People have different ways of studying and some go nuts and study like crazy, some don't at all...Depends on the study habits growing up too. Don't assume the worst and think that he's ignoring you. Why would he string you along? HE is sending you sweet notes! “hey im studying all day everyday. Hope u slept good. Ill text u later. Have a good day. Xo.” and this too! He text me at 1020 to ask how my studying went, and if I got a lot done. I just replied, “yes I got a lot done. Glad its over with for now but theres much more ahead, guess ur not calling tonite huh. (even tho I already knew cuz he would have just called. He replies, “no I cant. Still studyin. Have a good nite. Sweet dreams baby. Xoxo.” Those little things, asking about you, the xoxo's, are important. Actions, his actions are showing you he IS into you, it's just right now life is extremely busy and for now, you're not #1. Don't worry about it, things will be fine, so don't feel insecure and question him and what he thinks/feels...
Trialbyfire Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I agree with stargazer and nj.... If I were you, I would back off. Give him some space and let him focus on his exams. Once the exams are over, see where you stand. If he continues to remain what you consider distant, have a conversation with him (don't text or IM) and see what's up. The last thing you want to do is to come across like a needy person. Good luck.
Author MissKissNada_Gal Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 I fixed your post to make it more readable. Next time, please use paragraphs, and please do not copy and paste from some other place because that puts all those [tags] in your posts. And, if I may suggest, a little more studying might not be a bad idea, because your spelling, punctuation, sentence structure and grammar make it hard to figure out what you're trying to say. Anyway. In a new relationship, people get all caught up in each other and feel the need to call all the time and hear the other person's voice. Once you become more of a couple, it's not such a requirement because they no longer need that kind of constant reassurance and contact. So, you are probably right that things have changed in that you are no longer in the first stage of infatuation where he absolutely HAS to hear your voice every day. You can freak out about that if you want the drama, or you can accept that you have moved into the next phase of your relationship where you can relax and be comfortable without constantly questioning how you feel about each other. As for the rest, my guess is you are over-reacting a little. You assumed he would call when he only said he would text. You should not have assumed that - if you hadn't, you would have seen he texted when he said he would, and you wouldn't have been disappointed that he didn't call. Yes, he could still be studying. And, he might have done other things in between studying, like eating, going for a walk, watching TV, taking a nap, whatever. That's how a lot of people study, so it takes longer. Since it's finals, he probably didn't want the added distraction that talking to you would bring - studying is hard enough without wishing you were doing something else, like having fun with your gf. Try giving him the benefit of the doubt and relax. i know how to spell and all that, i just use those abbreviations because its shorter. thats all. i dont know what else to say, but thats the way it is for me. i will use the "appropriate" abbreviations from now on. but it doesnt honeslty matter in my opinion... if i thought it did i would of taken the time to fix what i wrote. sorry!
SadandConfusedWA Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 i see that was meant to be sacrcastic. no heart feeling "stargazer." i know how to spell. Obviously you don't.
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 He text me at 1020 to ask how my studying went, and if I got a lot done. See, I'm gonna break this down for you...He made the effort and contacted you... I just replied, “yes I got a lot done. Glad its over with for now but theres much more ahead, guess ur not calling tonite huh. (even tho I already knew cuz he would have just called. Automatically instead of being happy that he contacted you, you saw the negative in it and not the positive. His ACTION is what's important...Instead of saying to him, sweet dreams, talk to you soon - You got abit passive and boo hoo with him by saying "guess you're not calling me tonight." He replies, “no I cant. Still studyin. Have a good nite. Sweet dreams baby. Xoxo.” And he replied back to you with something nice again. Try to just go with the flow and not take it personally that he isn't calling/seeing you like it was before. Exams are rough! Once exams are all done and if he is still acting this way, THEN you can worry and definately talk to him about everything, but until then, don't go looking for problems when there isn't any to worry about.
Author MissKissNada_Gal Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 I fixed your post to make it more readable. Next time, please use paragraphs, and please do not copy and paste from some other place because that puts all those [tags] in your posts. And, if I may suggest, a little more studying might not be a bad idea, because your spelling, punctuation, sentence structure and grammar make it hard to figure out what you're trying to say. Anyway. In a new relationship, people get all caught up in each other and feel the need to call all the time and hear the other person's voice. Once you become more of a couple, it's not such a requirement because they no longer need that kind of constant reassurance and contact. So, you are probably right that things have changed in that you are no longer in the first stage of infatuation where he absolutely HAS to hear your voice every day. You can freak out about that if you want the drama, or you can accept that you have moved into the next phase of your relationship where you can relax and be comfortable without constantly questioning how you feel about each other. As for the rest, my guess is you are over-reacting a little. You assumed he would call when he only said he would text. You should not have assumed that - if you hadn't, you would have seen he texted when he said he would, and you wouldn't have been disappointed that he didn't call. Yes, he could still be studying. And, he might have done other things in between studying, like eating, going for a walk, watching TV, taking a nap, whatever. That's how a lot of people study, so it takes longer. Since it's finals, he probably didn't want the added distraction that talking to you would bring - studying is hard enough without wishing you were doing something else, like having fun with your gf. Try giving him the benefit of the doubt and relax. u guys are right. see i said the same thing. i think its ok that he did not call but i kind of wish he wanted to more, cause u know, 5 minutes to talk to him would have been nice. my mom is what put this into my head mostly. she thinks, "he used to always call and want to talk to u just so he could hear you. he could have taken 5 minutes out of his MANY hours of studying to talk to u." and i kind of agreed.. thats why i need to post.
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Hey, don't listen to your mom!!! Mom's have a way of making ya feel bad! Mine still does and I'm 36 years old!
Author MissKissNada_Gal Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 Obviously you don't. God. its a typo! this isnt about the way i spell things its about my post.. please dont bother saying anything if its not about my post, thank you.
Author MissKissNada_Gal Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 I agree with stargazer and nj.... If I were you, I would back off. Give him some space and let him focus on his exams. Once the exams are over, see where you stand. If he continues to remain what you consider distant, have a conversation with him (don't text or IM) and see what's up. The last thing you want to do is to come across like a needy person. Good luck. exactly. i fear sounding needy because that is a MAJOR turnoff for anyone. thats why i dont feel its such a big deal, that i would need to bring it to his attention.
whichwayisup Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 MissKissNada Gal, why not just focus on the advice you're getting and ignore the post replies you don't like.
Star Gazer Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 i know how to spell and all that, i just use those abbreviations because its shorter. thats all. i dont know what else to say, but thats the way it is for me. i will use the "appropriate" abbreviations from now on. but it doesnt honeslty matter in my opinion... if i thought it did i would of taken the time to fix what i wrote. sorry! I have yet to understand why the "text generation" thinks it's easier on a forum (NOT a phone) to type "wen" than "when" given that you have to purposefully misspell it. But regardless if it's easier for you to type, your goal in presenting your thread should be to make it easy for your readers to understand. If you spell correctly and put your ideas/thoughts into logical paragraphs, you'll get many more responses...many people stop reading the moment they see an original post in a thread such as yours. Just trying to help ya out here. That all having been said, I agree with WWIU. Chill out, give him space, and see how things are after his finals.
Author MissKissNada_Gal Posted June 3, 2007 Author Posted June 3, 2007 I have yet to understand why the "text generation" thinks it's easier on a forum (NOT a phone) to type "wen" than "when" given that you have to purposefully misspell it. But regardless if it's easier for you to type, your goal in presenting your thread should be to make it easy for your readers to understand. If you spell correctly and put your ideas/thoughts into logical paragraphs, you'll get many more responses...many people stop reading the moment they see an original post in a thread such as yours. Just trying to help ya out here. That all having been said, I agree with WWIU. Chill out, give him space, and see how things are after his finals. Thanks for your advice stargazer.. yeah, i dont know all of this being new to this forum... now im worried about posting other things cause people are going to be like, RELAX and sometimes i just need some advice on things. Oh and i give him A LOT of space, even though he enjoys being close to me and doesnt exactly ASK for the space. i just feel more comfortable with giving my guys space, and doing very little initiating... he is such a workaholic but i guess that makes the two of us, cause i have very good grades too. sigh, Both of his parents graudated from harvard and are now doctors. need i say more. lol
jcster Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I have to agree with Stargazer, hun - it's really hard to read the "texting" style that you use in this post. Please remember that this style of writing has only been around for a few years - a lot of us learned to write the old fashioned way, and it's really hard for us to read what you've written. And yes, chill out until finals are done. At least he's been in contact with you - he's probably just busy and a little fried right now.
iwearpearls Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 and believe me when finals come around (for my school (grad) it is about a three week process), I am almost like a hermit. I work late into the night and all through the day. If I get the chance to call my boyfriend, who is not a student, before he goes to bed? Great. If not, I will text him, knowing that if I spoke to him, I wouldn't be able to stay on for five minutes, because he is a very welcome distraction. I suspect the same is true of your boyfriend. So to be trite, relax. Finals too shall pass.
Hitman10000 Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Mothers, Fathers, Your Grandparents, Aunts/Uncles ...if you take advice from them or use them as an example of what a relationships are supposed to be you're going to hell. The best advice is typically anonymous/strangers/or friends. But even then you'd still have to take 50/50 of what they say into context in your love life. If your mother or father tells you "Well this is how it's supposed to be! No sex before marriage!" Yet you're 30 and 85% of your friends/strangers tell you Come on, stop holding back..Relax. Your parents/relatives are only looking out for their best interests, Never yours. Hey, don't listen to your mom!!! Mom's have a way of making ya feel bad! Mine still does and I'm 36 years old!
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