justagirliegirl Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 I think you are making excuses for him. If he is so busy, how does he find time to have an affair? I imagine the guy has a lunch break. He can call lawyers on his lunch break. Is he paying you any child support? Was he there for the birth of your child? I seriously doubt this guy will leave his wife. I can't understand why you would want such a broke sleaze ball.
Author IWALH Posted June 4, 2007 Author Posted June 4, 2007 I think you are making excuses for him. If he is so busy, how does he find time to have an affair? I imagine the guy has a lunch break. He can call lawyers on his lunch break. Is he paying you any child support? Was he there for the birth of your child? I seriously doubt this guy will leave his wife. I can't understand why you would want such a broke sleaze ball. Well, he doesn't exactly have time for an affair. I live about 10 hours away from him. I have only seen him a handful of times the past year. He calls me a few times a week from payphones and that's pretty much the extent of our affair except for the times I have seen him this last year. He has never paid any child support. I didn't want him and his wife to pursue any custody of my daughter so I never went after it. It would tear me apart inside to send her over to that unstable house without her mommy. And no, he was not there for the birth of our daughter... that does break my heart. I don't even think he loves her.... he loves his other daughter a lot more than he loves ours.... I am hoping once we are all together and he gets to know her more that will change. I don't care about money... I am head over heels... it hurts a lot.... but I cannot help myself.
sadbuttrue Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 you dont even think he loves your daughter? that is very strange. a father should love all their children, and getting to know her better is not going to make him love her more, she is his daughter, it should be understood.
Trimmer Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 I know it sounds AWFUL, it is pretty bad.... but the kids weren't really that close and they were fast asleep.... blah, I don't know... The point isn't whether they were probably asleep or not. The fact is that there was nothing preventing them from waking up to this. Incidentally, if your rekindled affair is currently a secret from his wife, and he "wants to make sure things end peacefully with his wife", why in the world would he do this? You are right to wonder just what the heck is going on, because this isn't the behavior of someone who is trying to end his marriage peacefully. There must be some other factor that you are not aware of. It would tear me apart inside to send her over to that unstable house without her mommy. Yes, with a man who demonstrates no concern for the emotional safety of his children. Knowing what you know about him, is there any chance that you will fully trust him to be a father to your daughter? When she is 3, can you imagine being comfortable leaving her with him overnight? I don't even think he loves her.... he loves his other daughter a lot more than he loves ours.... I am hoping once we are all together and he gets to know her more that will change. How many people enter relationships with obvious red flags waving, hoping that "he or she will change once we're together..."
whichwayisup Posted June 4, 2007 Posted June 4, 2007 Well, he doesn't exactly have time for an affair. I live about 10 hours away from him. I have only seen him a handful of times the past year. You also only know what he is telling you. You're not part of his daily life (atleast visually) to know exactly what he is up to. Hate to say it, but you were better off when he wasn't in your life and you were in NC mode with him. All he is going to do is cause pain, drama and confusion in your life, which is NOT good for your child.
Author IWALH Posted June 5, 2007 Author Posted June 5, 2007 You also only know what he is telling you. You're not part of his daily life (atleast visually) to know exactly what he is up to. Hate to say it, but you were better off when he wasn't in your life and you were in NC mode with him. All he is going to do is cause pain, drama and confusion in your life, which is NOT good for your child. I know.... I was a lot happier with my life before I started talking to him again. But seeing him that one time at a friend's wedding after so long.... I just caved and it's been downhill since then. I don't know what I am doing....
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