Topper Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 On one hand a lot of woman say they want a sensitive guy that can open up and communicate. Sounds great doesn't it? Then you same ladies will turn on that guy and label him a wimp. I can be Mr Sensitive. I would like to feel that I could be open and communicate my feelings. Before that happens I need to see that she is really looking for. I need to see that she just isn't playing lip service to wanting that grand open communication.
SadForever Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 there are different levels of intimacy in a relationship. emotional intimacy is a very deep experience. it is true most women dont want a guy who cries every day. often we look to them to be emotional rocks. but to never expose "your underbelly" to the woman you love, and/or to make her feel bad for "needing" you is to stunt the growth of the relationship. i would say you've never found the right person until you are able capable of this understanding and the occasional "exposure".
GregsBad Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 AC.... that was a good one..:lmao: Yes AC - It IS a good one .... I gotta get my note pad All this time, I thought the room growing dark was from my own blood pressure or adrenalin or something like that.
Topper Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I agree with Alpha on his point. Many men LEARN to appear non needy because it's what works! If being a cripple would work, some of us would go get crippled. It's because men love women and want women that they figure out how to get what they want. When a woman says, "You can trust me with your heart" I think it's a deeply motivated test (of him) from within her genes. She doesn't know it but what she's really saying is, "Show me if your weak because I don't want you if you are." She really WANTS him to stay strong, but the test must be a real test. If he gives in and shows his underbelly to her, he loses some of his attraction in her eyes. You said it better then i did.
alphamale Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I agree with Alpha on his point. excellent! If he gives in and shows his underbelly to her, he loses some of his attraction in her eyes. not only that GB but she may slice his underbelly open and let his bowels spill out
GregsBad Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 there are different levels of intimacy in a relationship. emotional intimacy is a very deep experience. it is true most women dont want a guy who cries every day. often we look to them to be emotional rocks. but to never expose "your underbelly" to the woman you love, and/or to make her feel bad for "needing" you is to stunt the growth of the relationship. i would say you've never found the right person until you are able capable of this understanding and the occasional "exposure". See what I mean? You're gooooood! You could almost convince a guy. But it's just you're genes wanting you to confirm that he is - or is not strong. If he takes your bait and waxes weak - you're genes will shut down the chemistry. But if he waxes strong - you're genes will release hormones making you horney.
Art_Critic Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 No woman wants a man that is pussy whipped and will admit it by showing his true emotional side.. A woman wants the rock.. but she wants to know that he is emotional.. she just doesn't really want to hear about his emotional side.. because then he will tak on a pussy whipped look to her and she will look down on him.. The key is balance.. showing a woman that you wear the pants but can cry when one of your parents die.
Pyro Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I think that its as simple as this: Be yourself, be a protector, but also learn to communicate with your spouse and open up to her when its necessary. Just don't go overboard with the opening up, otherwise it will make you look weak to her.
GregsBad Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 not only that GB but she may slice his underbelly open and let his bowels spill out Yes! It's natural. That's her job - find a worthy mate for procreation. Eliminate him if he's weak. Otherwise he'll eat food that she wants for her offspring.
halfarock Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 We're yet to see you trying to fix what made her stop admiring you - in yourself. So you're basically saying that if she got mad at you and nagged you about something, you would immediately change that about yourself? If she told you some day "You're a selfish, lazy person and I am sick of sacrificing for you!"- you would simply say "Oh, honey, please let me know how I should behave and I will do it right away"? No. What I am saying is my girlfriend would never tell me that I was a selfish, lazy person, and was sick of sacrificing for me. You see, through my upbringing, the luck of my genetic make up, and by concious decision, I have become an honorable man with many attractive qualities. That's why my girlfriend admires me. I don't do stupid things that make me less in her eyes. I take care of my business. She admires me because I am the man I am. She never nags me, never has to.
SadForever Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I think that its as simple as this: Be yourself, be a protector, but also learn to communicate with your spouse and open up to her when its necessary. Just don't go overboard with the opening up, otherwise it will make you look weak to her. Not too far off i think. but i would add the necessity to not belittle her for her emotional needs.
Pyro Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 but i would add the necessity to not belittle her for her emotional needs. I am confused by this. Could you elaborate on this?
SadForever Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 See what I mean? You're gooooood! You could almost convince a guy. But it's just you're genes wanting you to confirm that he is - or is not strong. If he takes your bait and waxes weak - you're genes will shut down the chemistry. But if he waxes strong - you're genes will release hormones making you horney. I find it sad so many of you guys seem to so strongly believe this. Or maybe it is true in general but i am an exception. I also notice how so many of you guys view it as a power struggle. Ive just never viewed it that way.
SadForever Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I am confused by this. Could you elaborate on this? Besides not wanting to communicate emotions themselves, alot of guys seem to get mad when a woman shows to much emotion. That she is too needy if she wants to hear "i love you" sometimes, or a compliment, or wants to connect with them on any emotional level.
Pyro Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Besides not wanting to communicate emotions themselves, alot of guys seem to get mad when a woman shows to much emotion. That she is too needy if she wants to hear "i love you" sometimes, or a compliment, or wants to connect with them on any emotional level. Ok. Thats funny because I hear so many guys who say that the guy must be the leader and dominate the relationship but then they turn around and get mad if she is dependent on him. So which is it?
GregsBad Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Not too far off i think. but i would add the necessity to not belittle her for her emotional needs. Not too far off i think. but i would add the necessity to not belittle her for her emotional needs. I agree SF. A good guy would not belittle her that way. But this is all about why men will or will not expose their needs. I think we all recognize that balance is called for. But learning from experience will nugde a man in different directions, even away from what he originally thought would work. Look: When a guy poors his heart out, buys candy, flowers, pays for expensive dinners, walks on the curb side, opens doors, listens sweetly and intently ... It's all because he thought it would get a certain results. Then when those results are not what he expected. And sees other guys get good results the other way, then experiments for himself ... and gets what he wants ... Well, even a laboratory rat can learn the right buttons. Why not an intelligent man?
Touche Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 But keep in mind that what works for one woman may not "work" for another.
GregsBad Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Besides not wanting to communicate emotions themselves, alot of guys seem to get mad when a woman shows to much emotion. That she is too needy if she wants to hear "i love you" sometimes, or a compliment, or wants to connect with them on any emotional level. I agree, it's wrong to get angry at her for showing emotions. And he really SHOULD say and do things to show his love. And compliment her too ... I dont think any of those things breach the strong v. needy boundary. I think much of this banter is toung in cheek - for fun. But I can see you've been hurt or are now being hurt ... I'm sorry if that is so.
Pyro Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 But keep in mind that what works for one woman may not "work" for another. Just like any other debate about the differences beween men and women on here or anywhere, there is not one universal answer for everyone.
GregsBad Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 But keep in mind that what works for one woman may not "work" for another. Of course! There are exceptions to the general rule ... always. Sort of like placing bets on the higher odd numbers at the table ... The "YO" (that's the eleven) is tempting - but you'll probably lose. For every cute girl who says she's the exception and I might miss out on her. I'd say there are 9 other tens who fit the general rule. Or I'd say "Yeah, well were talking now aren't we? You and me"
Touche Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Just like any other debate about the differences beween men and women on here or anywhere, there is not one universal answer for everyone. Exactly...............
SadForever Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 I agree, it's wrong to get angry at her for showing emotions. And he really SHOULD say and do things to show his love. And compliment her too ... I dont think any of those things breach the strong v. needy boundary. I think much of this banter is toung in cheek - for fun. But I can see you've been hurt or are now being hurt ... I'm sorry if that is so. thanks for that. good perspective too.
pricillia Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Maybe it is at different levels, but men and women have many of the same emotional needs.. To be loved To be shown compassion To be listened to and understood To feel wanted in a passionate way To be needed... To feel secure I could go on...
GregsBad Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 Just like any other debate about the differences beween men and women on here or anywhere, there is not one universal answer for everyone. Of course! There is not one universal answer because we're all different. But there ARE tipicals, likely-hoods, and what works more than not, and what fails more than not. If a guy doesn't learn from these things and apply them ... well isn't the value of studying history? I know there are rare exceptions. I'd bet my discretionary pocket money on the lottery. But I WONT bet my heart on the exception to the rule. Especially since there are soooooooo many beautful sweeties who fit into the general rule. To me it's all about what USUALLY works with girls and what USUALLY fails. And it's all because I want the things Priscilla said above
halfarock Posted June 3, 2007 Posted June 3, 2007 there are different levels of intimacy in a relationship. emotional intimacy is a very deep experience. it is true most women dont want a guy who cries every day. often we look to them to be emotional rocks. but to never expose "your underbelly" to the woman you love, and/or to make her feel bad for "needing" you is to stunt the growth of the relationship. i would say you've never found the right person until you are able capable of this understanding and the occasional "exposure". My girlfriend and I regularly discuss our feelings and quite regularly expose to her all of my emotions. But it is not in the spirit of neediness. It's just that we have a level of trust. If you can't share your thoughts with your girlfriend then who can you? It is not out of neediness. It is just the way it is.
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