SouthernT Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 A spin off of my other thread....Men: Here's your oppurtunity to explain to us women what YOUR needs are. It's not all about our emotional needs all the time. We are very well aware that men are in need to. But alot of us don't get it. We are not by any means trying to say that men DONT have emotional needs. But we have no clue what they are and some men are terrible at communicating their needs outside of sex.
Pyro Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 I want a woman who I can talk to. One that will not judge me but listen and give me her honest opinion about the matter. I want a woman who will not be afraid to tell me the truth. I want a woman who is not afraid to come to me and talk to me when she needs to. I want a woman who appreciates the things that i do for her. She doesn't have to express it in words or anything, but just so that I know. I want a woman who is pretty open-minded and not jump to conclusions about things that I do or say. I want a woman who I can call my best friend. Does this help?
DanielMadr Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 That we are needed, appreciated and respected aka to be loved. Men dont need so much assurance as women do but they need some. In the form of affection (touch) or compliments(verbal). Often women are so concentrated on receiving they forget to get some back. And when they want to give some, they dont know how - giving lame compliments or touch us like they fear us.
halfarock Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 I don’t know what you mean by “emotional needs”. Aren’t emotions reactions as in “that makes me mad” or “she makes me happy”. Though certain people can make me feel happy, I don’t “need” anyone to make me feel happy. Still I think that everyone likes to feel wanted and appreciated. Maybe, just by the luck of the draw I’ve always had my emotional needs met and don’t know what it’s like to be needy in this regards. Or perhaps I’m just insane and don’t know the difference.
RecordProducer Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 My biggest emotional need is sex. But that doesn't mean just screwing, it means screwing with the one I love. I also have a need to have a deep intellectual conversation with my partner. And I need to know that he loves me to death in order to feel secure in a relationship. Thus security is one of my emotional needs. Having fun and laughing together makes me feel close to my partner as well. So without dwelling too much on the psychological aspects, from a practical viewpoint, if I get sex, laughter, talk, and I am certain that he loves me - my emotional needs are pleased. I don't see how men are different from us. Most people base their needs and wants in life on what they DON'T want. Respect, faithfulness or attention are NOT in the needs category. They are simply the opposite of what we don't need; e.g. "I don't want my partner to ignore me, nag me, cheat on me, spite me or insult me." Relationships fail because of two basic reasons: 1. bad things happen; 2. good things don't happen. In an ideal world, we would live with someone with whom we're very closely connected, who would do anything for us, and who puts us in the first place. We would get along great and everything would go smoothly and easily. We would agree on most things and we would have a lot of fun and fantastic sex life with them. So if you take a look at what is ideal, it seems like we not only want to be loved, admired, and treated like royalty, but we also need to be entertained, served, heard, and pleased 24/7. Well that's impossible... Unless one partner plays the royalty and the other one the servant, like in many cases in reality.
alphamale Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 ..Men: Here's your oppurtunity to explain to us women what YOUR needs are. i just want to feel wanted and needed and loved for who i am *weeping* sniff sniff
Krytellan Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 I put forth a lot of effort to please the woman I love, as such, I want to be told that I'm doing a good job... to be appreciated. And I don't want to have to prompt it. I like to be complimented. Whether I look good, work hard, or whatever. Women have complained about this in my past, but I associate intimacy with touch. I need to touch and be touched to feel intimacy. Nothing fancy necessary. I hardly ever do, but I need to be able to cry like a baby without being judged... when the stress or frustration reaches a boiling point. I like to be told things will be OK. Holding me like a baby works I need to be included. In decisions, planning, etc. I need to be paid attention to. I can't stand existing "around" my partner. I'm a little weird though...
Tony T Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 I want a woman who I can talk to. One that will not judge me but listen and give me her honest opinion about the matter. I want a woman who will not be afraid to tell me the truth. I want a woman who is not afraid to come to me and talk to me when she needs to. I want a woman who appreciates the things that i do for her. She doesn't have to express it in words or anything, but just so that I know. I want a woman who is pretty open-minded and not jump to conclusions about things that I do or say. I want a woman who I can call my best friend. Does this help? And precisely where are you hoping to find such a person...I'd like to be there?
johan Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 A spin off of my other thread....Men: Here's your oppurtunity to explain to us women what YOUR needs are. ... outside of sex. Is this some kind of trap?
Art_Critic Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 About the only emotional need I can think of that I have would be the friendship. To me going thru the days or years of life leaves me with the need of a friend that I can truly count on to share what I need to share and to lean on in times of being tested in life and to offer the same to them... so that is what I expect out of my SO for my emotional needs... Friendship..
alphamale Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 contrary to my post above i have no emotional needs that I can get filled from women. i rely upon myself and my immediate family for that stuff. I'd like to be there? me to...
KaneNAbel Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 Fix me a sandwich and don't talk so much. (Dave Chapelle) No, but seriously, I agree with Alphamale. The minute you 'need' a woman emotionally, is the minute you turn needy in the relationship. Right?
alphamale Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 No, but seriously, I agree with Alphamale. The minute you 'need' a woman emotionally, is the minute you turn needy in the relationship. Right? yes thats basically the way it works KNA
Krytellan Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 No, but seriously, I agree with Alphamale. The minute you 'need' a woman emotionally, is the minute you turn needy in the relationship. Right? Man, you know, I'm trying really hard to laugh off your comment. But it just carries so much truth. There are many examples in my life that support this statement. Including hearing the words, "I've never met a man that was so needy"
RecordProducer Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 contrary to my post above i have no emotional needs that I can get filled from women. i rely upon myself and my immediate family for that stuff. No, but seriously, I agree with Alphamale. The minute you 'need' a woman emotionally, is the minute you turn needy in the relationship. Right?Bullshlt! When you fall in love with someone, you have certain emotional needs directed to that person! You want to feel loved back, appreciated, admired... What you guys are talking about is a determination that you will not depend on any woman emotionally. In that case you have to stay out of love... only because you're afraid to get hurt. Cowards!
Author SouthernT Posted June 2, 2007 Author Posted June 2, 2007 No, but seriously, I agree with Alphamale. The minute you 'need' a woman emotionally, is the minute you turn needy in the relationship. Right? Having emotional needs has NOTHING to do with being "needy". These are two seperate things.
alphamale Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 Having emotional needs has NOTHING to do with being "needy". These are two seperate things. nope, they're both intertwined
Art_Critic Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 nope, they're both intertwined Alpha.. you mean to tell me that you have no emotional needs ? Did you ever tell your ExW that you loved her ?
alphamale Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 Alpha.. you mean to tell me that you have no emotional needs ? well i do but i don't want to admit it
Author SouthernT Posted June 2, 2007 Author Posted June 2, 2007 Alpha.. you mean to tell me that you have no emotional needs ? Did you ever tell your ExW that you loved her ? Exactly...for some reason men (some) think that it shows weakness to admit some of this stuff. It doesnt make you any less of a man. We as women don't look it as a weakness. It's quite opposite. We appreciate the heck out of it. Having emotional needs does not mean being emotionally dependent. It's a human need, not male vs. female. So my next question would be, for those of you who were MAN enough to admit that you have these needs, in what ways have you taken the time to communicated your needs to you partner in current/past relationships? Men communicate in such indirect ways sometimes, and it makes it difficult for a woman to pick up on your needs.
Trialbyfire Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 Exactly...for some reason men (some) think that it shows weakness to admit some of this stuff. It doesnt make you any less of a man. We as women don't look it as a weakness. It's quite opposite. We appreciate the heck out of it. Having emotional needs does not mean being emotionally dependent. It's a human need, not male vs. female. So my next question would be, for those of you who were MAN enough to admit that you have these needs, in what ways have you taken the time to communicated your needs to you partner in current/past relationships? Men communicate in such indirect ways sometimes, and it makes it difficult for a woman to pick up on your needs. I agree with this a lot. If you look at men and women in an argument or debate, you will normally find that when a woman is willing to compromise, she starts giving one inch at a time. The expectation is that men will meet the giving halfway. Instead many men will go for the throat, not understanding that the intent is to compromise.
Author SouthernT Posted June 2, 2007 Author Posted June 2, 2007 well i do but i don't want to admit it What's up with this Alpha? Did some girl screw you over that bad to make you turn into this type of guy? Or do you just portray this attitude to entertain us here on LS?
Author SouthernT Posted June 2, 2007 Author Posted June 2, 2007 I also wanted to add that some men don't even know what "it" is that they need, all they know is that they need "something" and they get frustrated when they are not getting this "something" So it's just my opninion that maybe you should take the time to ask and answer these questions for yourselves. Once you figure it out for yourself, then it makes it 10 times easier to communicate your need to your girl. If you cant even answer you own question about what your needs are, then HOW do you expect a woman to pick up on it? (And don't get me wrong, this goes for BOTH sexes.)
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