annabelle75 Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Those of you that have read my past threads know about how I got suddenly dumped by a guy that I had long distance dated for about 3 months (knew each other for 2 years). He had prusued me relentlessley with promises of some day moving to be with me when the relationship became more serious. One day he suddenly told me that his interest and feelings for me no longer justified the amount of effort the LDR was taking and dumped me. I was devistated. Well..... as I have said in previous posts even though I had initiated NC, he still continued to call and IM me as if we were still friends. Its all been very odd. I found out he had met some girl at a party the weekend he dumped me and even though she blew him off the next week, he was still interested and thought that it would be easier to date some one in the same city. I figured that was the reason for the break-up. Although I believe it contributed to it, I've now discovered something that I didn't know. He had applied for a position with a local sports team and was turned down. He is in the field of sports broadcasting and is currently working at the college level. There aren't many sports casting opportunities were I live and I think he was hoping they would pick him up and then he would have his dream job and be able to be with me. Even though I didn't question him on it any further when he told me about it last night (he called me because my team won a big game) I got the impressison that that was the reaosn he ended the relationship. Once he found out he couldn't pursue his career and live near me, he decided it was best to end it. Although it still hurts he picked his career over me, I do understand his choice and wish he had been honest with me about it instead of dumping me the way he did. I've been very resistent to allow him to still be my friend, but knowing what I do now I feel a little less betrayed and led on. Even though it didn't work out, he did try and that means something. We'll never be as close of friends as we were before, I'm not completely kicking him out of my life. For the first time in my life I actually feel some closure at the end of a relationship. I honestly understand and respect his choice. I'm feeling better about it all now.
KaneNAbel Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 That's a lot of speculation on your part. Just forget him. He sounds like he's confused himself. If you continue to beat yourself up, this situation will end poorly even if you don't think so. 1
JoL Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 I think it is comforting to think that he "tried" to make the relationship work. However, it sounds to me like he just didn't want to try hard to make it work. There are a few things I have learnt over the last few years of relationships and break-ups. A break-up just doesn't happen out of nowhere. A dumper will have thought it through many times and dealt with the decision before doing it. Best thing to do in these situations is NO CONTACT. I cannot stress enough how important this is. Just stop talking to him, don't answer his calls, don't reply to messages. You need time to move on, he will only confuse and upset you and make you question why he did what he did. It doesn't matter why he did it, it's done now. He didn't want the relationship badly enough. Trust me, I know how much it hurts when you realise that someone wasn't willing to work hard to make it work.
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