ukmale Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 me and my girlfriend broke up after a 4 year relationship last week. im glad i found this site last week. given me much needed advice and thinking. i prob would of posted a piece about how devastated i was and totally hurt. but 7 days has past and my mind is feeling alot more lightweight. abit of background on my situation. me and my ex have been together while we both have been getting our careers on track. i finished my training last year and now in a well paid job. she is about to finish her degree september. this is one of the reasons that im hurting. that we were so close to having a totally different life together. house etc. the stresses of her uni the las few months come between us. i felt neglected while she felt unloved. communication was never our stongest point. things where never sorted if we had a disagreement at the time. always left a few days sometimes a week. we had a row about 6 weeks ago. left it a week. i txt her to see what was going on, at this point i was thinking bad things about our relationship. she replied sayin she has had enough and she wants to see if she is happy on her own. not totally out the blue comments but still a shock. she said her feelings for me have not changed at all but felt this is what she needed to do. i respected her enough to leave be. a week later i sent some flowers jus to remind her of my feelings. got a reply along the lines of why didnt u do these things when we was together. ouch!! so left it. i get a txt a few days later sayin its starting to hit her and that 'its hard not to have you in my life'. i took that as encouragment. we began speaking again sayin how much she missed me and loves me, sayin the situation is sureal!. we met up on a few occassions. was nice. she said there is a bond there but maybe to much has happend to go back now!!. strange. there has been many a conversation which have confused me evenmore. as if i broke up with her. i could write a book. so basically for about 4 weeks she had been unsure of her feelings. i look back now and jus wish we had no contact. have some space away to think. all this uncertainty has made me go insane. so last week i wrote a letter of closure saying for my sanity i need to look to move on. she came round and we had an emotional meeting. the first time i cried in over 10 years. it all got to much for me. we was both in tears. i asked her for a chance to be the inspiration in her life. she said if she thought if it would work she would try!! also she says she is still angry! but to confirm she said her heart wouldnt be in it. im no begger so i said no more. we parted in tears. i have been pretty cut up thinking bout the ifs and buts. that meeting was on a thurs. i wake up sunday to a txt sayin 'love u'. whats that all about? especially after we agreed not to contact each other. friends would not work in our case. i havent replied, im not gonna. it like she cant let go. it was sent at 2.30am, prob thinkin what am i doin, she doesnt drink so not sure the reason for txtin. we needspace away from each other but also for me i need to start to get on with my life. that closure has helped me. if its meant to be it will i suppose.
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