lauralou123 Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Hello i'm new to all this, so you'll have to bear with me if i mess up a little! Not really sure why i'm posting, i don't know if it's advice i need, or just to get everything off of my chest. I'm just having a bit of a low, lonely day and needed to explain how i felt ... I apologise for it being so long but its a long old complicated story .. [FONT=verdana][sIZE=2]I met J in November, and we got together and things were great. I still think he’s wonderful, and we get on so well together. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][sIZE=2]By January, I got a text one night saying; he was on a bit of a downer, I was too good for him and he wanted me to meet somebody else. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][sIZE=2]This came as a complete shock to me and I was so upset. About two weeks later I got a text, saying he’d like to sort things out because he missed me. He confessed that he’d been out, got very drunk and kissed another girl. But I took him back and things seemed good again. He's been on antidepressants for a while now. Apparently there's a few reasons for his depression. He told me how his mums boyfriend hung himself, and J had to cut him down, dead. He was with his girlfriend from the age of 17. She was 23 (seems strange i know? ), and apparently he worshipped the ground she walked on, but he just ended up getting lied to and walked all over. So his head is a bit messed up from her. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][sIZE=2]He also explained he has a lot of debts which he can’t pay, and this gets him down. J says that when he feels down .. He shuts himself away from the world, and won’t even speak to his mum for a week or so. So when his next “downer” came, once again I didn’t hear from him for a week. When he got back in touch this time, I pretty much knew the score .. So I told him I wouldn’t get back with him, but I still wanted him to be in my life. [/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][sIZE=2]So for around the last 4 months, we’ve had a very casual thing going on, because he says he can’t be with anyone. When things are good with us, it’s amazing. As much as people think he’s using me for sex, I know for a fact he genuinely cares about me, and we spend some amazing times together. We chat on the phone for hours and are basically how a couple would be. He's told me that he could quite easily fall in love with me; which meant a lot to me .. after he'd had such a serious relationship before.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][sIZE=2]I have to be very patient with him, when I don’t hear from him, I’ll just leave him be for a while, and wait for him to get back in touch. My friends all think I’m stupid to still be involved with him, and they hate him, saying he messes me around. But I know I’m slowly falling in love with him, and I don’t want him to think that I’m going to bail on him, at the first sign of a problem. I'm proving to him that i will be there no matter what.[/sIZE][/FONT] [FONT=verdana][sIZE=2] However, I’ve found out on 2 occasions now, that he’s slept with 2 different girls, which I’ve gone mad at him for. But, although morally wrong, he’s not actually doing anything literally wrong, because were not actually together. He's said for ages that he wants me to meet somebody else, and that we shouldn't be in the situation we're in, because it's not going to help me move on. He said when he’s upset, it’s easier for him just to block out his feelings and get with somebody who he doesn’t particularly like that much, because he struggles to get close to people. I've been told he very rarely lets people in. His friends, and mum, have told me I’m an exception, and that I’ve done brilliantly to have got this close to him, that i'm all they've heard about for the last 8 months and that he apparently adores me. Little things like that reassure me that he does like me, and he’s not just trying to mess me around and use me. But sometimes it feels like it. I sometimes feel like giving up hope and just calling it a day with him. But then when I see him, I know I can’t do that because I care about him so much and I know deep down he feels the same. He’s just very lost and very confused. He’s going through a bad patch at the minute and is being really off with me .. so i guess im just feeling a bit low about that .. i miss him Anyway thankyou to anybody who takes the time to read this .. and i'm sorry for moaning ... i know some of you have probably got worse problems in comparison to this ... it's just a complicated issue in my life [/sIZE][/FONT]
tikigods Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 I would tell you to move on. You can't solve this guys problems and it doesn't sound like he wants to have you do that for him anyway.
InvisibleTouch Posted June 2, 2007 Posted June 2, 2007 Dont take this badly but you are deluded if you really think that what this guy gives you constitutes your love! He is extremley dangerous and you should want to have nothing to do with him. The only advice I can give you is Google "Personality Disorders" and start researching what you are dealing with here. Scary stuff!
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