Jmina Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 I am posting because i don't know if i should bother having hope...the hope that i have is just there...i don't try to bring it, it just happens... I am hoping two things.....that one i will able to see my ex in the future as a friend without wishing she was mine again. or two..that she will be ready to be in a relationship with me...yes i do want her back.. more than anything. This is what happened, i will keep it as short as possible. First of all we are both women. I'm 23 and she is 21. We met 2 years ago, and hit it off straight away, we were blown away with our connection and similarities, we were both straight but leaning bi curious at the time and didnt really want to be in a relationship with each other, we werent ready for it, but time passed and we felt more and more strongly about each other. We hooked up then she freaked out and backed right off....so i was hurt but i eventually moved on because i didnt see her much, but we always spoke on msn. She said she only went on to talk to me. after a few months she said she was missing me and was thinking about me again, so i went to her house... we spent two great nights together talking and laughing all night and bein blown away AGAIN by our connection. i was really swept off my feet by her. We were intimate, she was the who initiated it and i was very nervous and didnt feel quite right about it but becoz i felt alot for her i did it anyway. so 3 months pass and we are a couple, then she says that she loves me so much but cant be in a relationship with me. i was devastated, i loved her so much, i said to her i cant be friends its too hard. the next day she says it didnt feel right to be apart and she wanted to start again but be more honest, i felt like i could fly. we get to 10 months and she goes to africa for 2 weeks, she comes back and tells me that shes not ready for us. through our relationship she was the one who suggested the future, kids, marriage, moving out. i was so confused because i felt her love and we always said we were soul mates. over the next two weeks we talk about being best friends and soul mates but not intimate after we get over the break up but we miss each other, we both gave in and we hooked up two more times... the last time was only 4 days ago. she didnt seem to worry about the future at all which is why she broke up with me in the end. she was doing fine but then after 2 days seh says again im worrying to much and love shouldnt be this hard. i love you so much with all my heart and soul and nothing could change that, i hate thinking of you with someone else but i worry that we arent doing the right thing, i worry that that we arent meant to be together then i worry that we are meant to be together i worry that im too young i just worry about everything. she said she cant be in a relationship with anyone. she also said she wants to experience other people because she hasnt before. she is scared off by men and i was the first person she was able to do alot of things with shes going over seas in 2 months for god knows how long.... she still says im her soul mate, and she loves me dearly, she is very deeply attracted to me and can feel the connection yet she freaks out so much that she thinks its not meant to be. do i keep hope that one day she will be ready, and accept the woman, woman thing. or am i kdding myself we love each other so much. it hurts so much, i love her and hate thinking of her with someone else. do i let her go and then if its meant to be it will happen one day, i mean if we are soul mates it will happen when the time is right?? help!! thankyou so much please please tell me what you all think, im really stuck on this one. my friends say if its meant to be it will happen, my parents say shes young and doesnt know what she wants yet. have any of you been in a similar situation???? Jmina:(
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