randuff Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 So I asked about the money situation and I got the response I was looking for. But my dumba$$ gave her some money anyways, but I did learn something. I went to her place and told her that I would give her some money but this isn't what she asked of me when we split (she wanted to make it on her own) And as she asked if I was ok with this, because the last conversation we had was the one where I told her I can't be her friend because of the feelings I still had for her and I wouldn't be able to handle them, I had a sudden realization..... I didn't bother me that I was over there and couldn't get back with her. I even stayed the night with her, no sex, no kissing no nothing! It was odd to me as I listened to her talk about things that I didn't desire for us to be back. It seemed as if I accepted that things didn't work out, regardless of why because it doesn't really matter. It is what it is. One month after the break up and I finally realize that I am ok and that I can't control what happened so why bother trying to make heads or tails of it. I dunno it seemed strange because I still love and care for her, and very much so, but I don't sit and think about getting back with her and what I could do to get her in my life again. It all happened in a matter of 1 day!! Is that possible?? I guess it is because I am ok. I haven't been sad or cried about it at all. As a matter of fact I kinda got angry about it a little thinking, you know I was really really great to this girl and she just threw her feelings out the door during our relationship and disregarded my feelings (when she cheated) I wanted to post this to see if anyone else woke up one day and decided or just ended up not really worrying about it anymore. And I always used to tell her when she was upset about something she couldn't control to not worry about it. Stressing over something you have absolutely no control over is going to drive you insane so don't do it. I guess I started to take my own advice. I feel good today!
KaneNAbel Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Go figure. Did you not learn anything? After all us LSers gave you advice you decided against it anyways? You are an adult. I can't tell you what to do. Also, I'm glad you feel good today. I really am. But you think this is permanent? You got your fix. She got her money without any of the drama. You both got temporary wins. However, I have a feeling you are (please prove me wrong) going to get back into a ****ty mood again. Especially since you are still in contact with her. And she hasn't learned a lesson about self sufficiency. You are doing yourself a disservice. The girl in my situation got a parking ticket meeting me for lunch. She brought it up the night of the break and said she was trying to fight it. Somehow it felt like she was trying to see if I would pay it. You know what? I never talked to her since. I felt bad, but I paid more than enough for her ex's and her mistakes. So I said **** it. She's a grown woman. She should deal with it.
Author randuff Posted June 2, 2007 Author Posted June 2, 2007 Well she called me today and got a bonus from work so she deposited money back into my account. So I helped her out for a couple days and got repaid. I still feel just as good too. I think it just was the fact I needed to deal with the fact that I can't change what happened and I can't change her mind so why stress over it and drive myself crazy over it. Like I said I still love her dearly but what's done is done and I am not going to let my self pity run my life again. If we get back together then great but if not I learned some valuable life lessons.
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