Thoughts on this Email...

[SBBW]

^ I'm saying her 18 year old buddy needs to learn to respect her elders! Not her...

[sb129]

^ I'm saying her 18 year old buddy needs to learn to respect her elders! Not her...

 

Who cares? Maybe the 18 year old buddy was joking?

 

You need to CHILL out.

 

Why can't you let this go? Its almost like you are obsessed with this woman.

You sound like a stalker.

 

And I have never seen such a classic case of narcissistic personality disorder.

[Trialbyfire]

Who cares? Maybe the 18 year old buddy was joking?

 

You need to CHILL out.

 

Why can't you let this go? Its almost like you are obsessed with this woman.

You sound like a stalker.

 

And I have never seen such a classic case of narcissistic personality disorder.

Bang on sb129. My ex has now become Mother Theresa in comparison...

[sb129]

Bang on sb129. My ex has now become Mother Theresa in comparison...

 

My ex was a pretty textbook NPD case too- but as you say, compared to this broad he is a saint!

[Trialbyfire]

My ex was a pretty textbook NPD case too- but as you say, compared to this broad he is a saint!

My ex used to play a little guitar. Maybe he would fit right in.

 

The NPDs...die all you compassionate types!!

[sb129]

My ex was a musician too! Snap!

[crazy_grl]

My point is I think she was directing that right at me to annoy me. No blog posts for three months, then suddenly she goes on this long tangent about going to see Tool. Seems suspicious to me.

 

Yes, the world revolves around you.

 

Neener, neener. *slap* Hahaha!!

 

And then this friend of her's, this 18 year old girl she hangs out with (Why she is hanging out with teenagers is beyond me at this point, something I could never understand about her)

 

Maybe because the 18 yo is more mature than her previous friends/band mates...

 

Stop being so self-absorbed.

[sb129]

Stop being so self-absorbed.

 

Quite a difficult task for SBBW it would seem.

Despite being told by oh, everyone on here!

[sb129]

That was exactly what I thought too.

 

My BF does quite a few things without me, as we are in a LDR.

 

I would never ask him not to go just because I can't. And when he gets so excited about things i think its cute, and am glad he is enjoying himself.

[Magnatolia]

To SBBW, you are a complete retard, who doesn't deserve anyone's friendship.

 

1. You treat her like sh*t, and then go on that you've done all these things for her, like listening to her and hanging out with her. Big deal, it doesn't mean she owes you anything.

2. You bitched about this drummer case, so one of your friends goes out of 'his' way and buys you one, and gets your husband a ticket to Tool and all you can do is whinge that he didn't get you a ticket as well. You're pathetic. He didn't have to buy either item but he did.

3. Your ex-friend probably did post to annoy you, and hell, if I was in the same position I would have likely done the same thing. Oh, and 18 isn't a teenager idiot. I know a 16 year old that would be way more mature and decent than you.

4. If you didn't have this band would you actually have any friends?

5. You believe that you're innocent in this, and can't understand why your friend is so upset. Yet every post on here basically says the same thing. Think about it!

 

And get over yourself!

[SBBW]

So, I gave in and sent her a short, but friendly message today. I told her I hope she is just unbelievably busy and not ignoring me or trying to push me out of her life. And I told her I would love to sit down and talk to her sometime soon. Still no response. If I don't get a response I will forget her and move on.

[Trimmer]

If I don't get a response I will forget her and move on.

That's probably sensible, SBBW. Good luck.

[che_jesse]

Does your attention whoring really never get boring?

 

You know going in that you wont get a favorable response when you post, hell you know that absolutely nobody on LS is either sympathetic to your case or even likes you in the least bit but you continue with this.

 

Is it really that pathetic on your side that you have to troll for attention on the internet?

 

The 18 year old girls comment came from the knowledge that your band sucks major ass, you have never played live and from everything you have posted you are not going in that direction.

 

Whats wrong with you that you cry when you hear Tool. Really... what the hell? No one other then 15 year old kids cries when they hear tool.

 

Why do you continue to post these threads? I was not going to bother to say anything because attention whores generally wear themselves out after one or two dumbass narcissistic posts but you still persist.

 

There was no point once so ever in posting that email, it does nothing but make you look like a fat stupid bitch and you know this. There was no point in bitching about not being able to see Tool, tickets are like $60, if you really wanted to go see them you would have bought less beer and weed that month and saved the money.

[Trimmer]

...absolutely nobody on LS is either sympathetic to your case or even likes you in the least bit...

 

Is it really that pathetic on your side...

 

...your band sucks major ass...

 

...it does nothing but make you look like a fat stupid bitch and you know this.

These kinds of comments are out of line. I've been as vocal as anyone here taking SBBW to task for her behavior and her attitudes toward her friend, but you've crossed the line with this stuff. This is just being gleefully meanspirited.

 

She said if she doesn't get a response she's going to forget about it and move on. Please consider the same approach.

[huh]

In an earlier thread, you said your mother is manipulative. My guess is that, probably without even realizing it, you have absorbed at least some of those traits/ways of dealing with people. You seem to think it's normal & acceptable to treat a friend like utter crap & then expect that friend to be loyal to you. That's not the way it works with most people & friendship. And as Trimmer has said repeatedly, it's not about the decision to let her go from the band (which is totally up to you & the rest of the band). It was the way you have treated her both with that and before/after it. Calling her turd, being disappointed she didn't make a scene when you cut her from the band.

 

If anything, your friend is being rather tolerant and spending more time and energy (writing the e-mail) than, quite frankly, going by your own postings, it's worth. I know you said therapy didn't work out, but perhaps trying a different therapist may help you recognize the manipulative nature of your actions and how they're going to continue to cause you problems down the road.

 

Because everyone has their limits. And it's not just friends. Spouses have limits. Fellow band members have limits too. Sure maybe they let the Tool hissyfit go. But eventually, you're going to hit their limits as well if you keep acting this way. You've probably already hit other people's limits. She mentions you were laid off/fired from jobs.

 

And her posting about Tool isn't a slap at you. She likes them, she got tickets, good for her. Maybe if you hadn't treated her like crap she would've been able to get tickets for you too. Maybe she started posting again on her page because she has more free time or she's doing more things people may want to read about. Contrary to what you may think, the world does not revolve around you and not everything is about you. She was active online before you 2 became friends, indeed, that is how you met each other. Why is it suprising for her to be online?

 

And to answer the question from another thread:

 

But why the hell did she make herself so known to me if all she was gonna do was blow jme off. She walked by and touched my arm. If not I probly wouldn't have even seen her.

 

You would've preferred she ignore you? It's called being the bigger person. Some people call it taking the high road. She was behaving the way any halfway normal person with any amount of class would behave in the situation. She acknowledged you, but she wasn't fake friendly either. That's a healthy, respectable and balanced response when dealing with people who feed/thrive on drama. Ignoring you would have fed your need for drama and being friendly to you would've been fake.

 

I've had experience with people like you. At my previous job, I had a co-worker who is manipulative & difficult. Like you, she felt there had to be one person to "rip on". For the last 2 of my 4 years there it was me. She drove one poor guy to stress leave with her scapegoating and several others to look for a new job. She was the major reason I went looking for another job (one where I'm respected, appreciated and they want me to eventually become a supervisor). Of course, when I left, giving standard notice, she whinged about how could I leave when it was the busiest time of the year to anyone who would listen. This was after she'd rip me apart behind my back to co-workers saying "she sucks, she should just quit and leave."

 

When I see her at functions for our professional association, I greet her politely, but don't spend a lot of time with her. She's still a negative person. She tries to throw in my face that I have a longer commute with my new job. I respond by telling her all of the new, interesting & creative stuff I'm working on & how we socialize at my new job, going out after work, how I've had fun trips related to work, etc. Then, I excuse myself and go talk to someone else. As the saying goes, "living well is the best revenge." Sounds like your friend believes in that philosophy as well.

 

In my experience, people who feel the need to set up one person to scapegoat or "rip on" are fundamentally unhappy and insecure people. They try to distract attention from their own flaws by exaggerating the scapegoats/ripees. Whether it's a band or an office, they drive away talented people and slowly start to lose the respect of those around them. Is that what you want for yourself?

 

And why the need for 3 different threads on this? Why not just add onto the existing thread so it's all in one place to read? Though I do see you've done that with the Tool update.