budd98 Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 My g/f and I had been together for 2 years. A few weeks ago she asked for her space cause she felt that she doesn't love me anymore. She is 25 and I am 27. I do love this girl and know she is very poor. I have always helped her out financially. Anyways, I am triing to give her the space she needs but we still talk on the phone every day or every other day. I have'nt seen her in 1 week. She always complains on the phone about not being able to pay her bills and just sounds like she hates life. She tells me she wants to move, change her #, and not ever talk to her friends and family again. What I am triing to understand is why is she acting this way? Why does she always sound depressed? Every time I am with her I always try to make her feel good and do things together. I asked her if she would like to go to a movie and she says no, and I asked her to do other things to cheer her up and she says no. Does anyone have an idea what might be going on in her head?
johan Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Not trying to be too much of a smartass here, but I think it's pretty clear she's depressed. If and when she emerges from this, don't expect her to be the same person. If she rejects your help, then there's nothing you can do except keep it to yourself. If she doesn't want you around, then stay away. This is something you can't do anything about. If she decides she wants something from you, she'll let you know. Just don't let her abuse your feelings by taking advantage of you. You'll have to figure out your own boundaries and enforce them. And you'll have to live your life for yourself with no assurance that she'll be part of it.
Author budd98 Posted June 1, 2007 Author Posted June 1, 2007 If the break-up is final, how can I possibly get the big things I gought back? I mean, they were not gifts and she knew that....I just bought them for her to use. I also lent her thousands of dollars that she claimed she would pay back. As hard as it is to ask for them back....she shouldn't deserve to have them if she wants to break up right? Do you think a person suffering from depression can ever be normal again? How long might it take?
johan Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 When I broke up with my ex, she had some things of mine that weren't gifts. And I also had "lent" her money, in that I gave it to her and she swore she'd pay me back. I didn't want to be in your shoes. I didn't want to have to follow up with her and arrange to come by and get my things. So I demanded she return them on the spot. I told her to put it out for me, and I told her she had a half hour. She did. I picked it up. I wrote the money off, and never mentioned it. Not relevant to you, of course. But maybe next time... It isn't, however, too late for you to rip that bandaid off. As cruel as it sounds, I think you're just going to have to tell her to return what she has. I think it might be worth it to write the money off. Not sure how much it is, but having to collect from her, probably in the form of regular payments, is just going to keep you in contact. Not sure what your sanity is worth, but I assume a lot. So if you can afford to, just forget it. The more money we're talking about, the harder it is going to be to get it out of her.
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