Talk me out of it!!! or encourage me...!

[Kelso]

Hey buddies...I think that it might be long!!

 

Okay...January 2006 I met this girl. We dated only for about 5-6 months and there are 8 months since it ended. When it ended, I was devastated and I didn't knew why. I do now....more about that later.

 

She ended it in October/November. I have chosen to think of it as a mutual agreement as I had been thinking about letting her go for 2 weeks before she finally did it, and when we broke up, there was no anger. When we broke up I felt soooo bad. I didn't know why she didn't want me anymore. But actually today I know.

 

1. She was the first girl I really really cared for, and I wanted to spend every waking hour with her. I was too inexperienced to realize that this wasn't the way to go, but I have realized know.

 

2. She lives with her sister. Her sister always pretended that she liked me, but inside I knew she was just faking. I'm sure she liked me as a person, but she didn't like that I stole all this time with her sister.

 

For the first weeks and months after we broke up I occasionally looked at her myspace. I didn't know how bad idea it was then, but always afterwards I felt like hell. Well, that was back in December. I realized that it wasn't gonna do me any good to look at it so I stopped. Today I looked at it for the first time in about 3 months. I can see that she hasn't really changed much.

 

a) She's still just as beautiful.

b) She's still single (I thought she was seeing someone else when we broke up).

c) She doesn't seem to have a lot going on in her life (according to comments).

 

When we broke up she said that she didn't love me anymore and that she didn't want a relationship right now. For the first weeks I wanted to call her constantly (I didn't thanks to LS). Then the feeling that I needed her started faded away.

 

3. Thanks to LS I started avoiding her. This avoidance helped me a lot. But now 8 months later I'm still afraid to meet her. Just because it's gonna be the first time for 8 months that I would meet her.

 

Well, I can't describe every single detail of what we had. But what I wanted to say in few words is that she ended it because she didn't feel like it was gonna work or somethink. I thought she had someone else, but according to her MySpace she has noting interesting going on in her life. So therefor I ask all the girls who have dumped their BF's. Did you have the same motives (not wanting relationship) and regretted it later on without having the guts to call the guy??

 

In even shorter words...I liked her, we broke up, I still liked her, the feelings faded away, I visited her myspace for the first time in months, still liked her a bit...thinking about if I should make a contact in order to see if she regrets what she did.....she still has a group photo of me and my friends on her myspace....

 

talk me out of it...

[GambitRiot]

Well, I'm not a girl, but I know exactly how you feel.

 

My advice is to a) do what you feel is right and b) do what you feel will leave you with as little regret as possible. If you really want to talk to her, but you know tha tyou won't get any fulfillment or relief out of it, then don't. Just because you want to say something doesn't mean there's anything left to say. It's been 8 months; how much would it hurt to keep it going?

 

Just trust yourself. You're your own worst enemy and critic but, often anyways, also your own best judge.

 

Good luck and follow your heart and mind equally

[Kelso]

First of all I want to thank the cell phone manufacturer Sony Ericsson. Back in October I put her phone number in a group that I wasn't able to call without a code (that I didn't even write down). I tried to send her a text message last night, and my beautiful Sony Ericsson blocked it.

 

Last night was drunk Kelso speaking. Exactly a year ago we had this wonderful weekend together and I thought about that nice weekend a lot yesterday. The I went out with the guys and we had some beers and I heard a lot of songs that reminded me of her.

 

This all resulting in me looking at her MySpace. The truth is that back in the end of last year and beginning of this year I spent a lot of time convincing my self that I was better off without her and normally I think that is true.

 

a) Why should her sister have changed her attitude towards me?

b) Why would we be able to spent more quality time together now?

c) Why should I allow to treat my like **** and want her back.

 

Then I started to think about some wise advice CaliGuy told me earlier. "Why should I make someone a priority who only sees me as an option". I've got a lot of nice friends who care about me and want to spend time with me and I think it would be better to spend my energy on them.