swatter Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Ok I met a guy online dating site, we had instant attraction and met the next day, he said it felt so right and was fate, I felt the same. We're both mature adults, neither of us have dated for over two years and are both looking for long term relationships We arranged a second date back at his place a couple of days later and he text me that evening saying that he couldnt make it, I text'd him back saying "ok no prob, everything ok?" and had no reply. I took this to mean he had changed his mind. Later that night saw him online and said sorry I'm naive sometimes and that I understood that he had changed his mind. I was upset and I think he could tell. He said noooo it was that he was in work, send a big kiss through the screen and asked if we could speak later, I said "sure cya later". He's been online today on the same dating site but not been in contact. God I feel such a fool. It's only been one date, I know, but it felt so right. Was it was too much too soon? I really like him and he seemed to really like me (our texts have been hot). He's away this weekend back to his home town so he won't be around. Have I blown it? Is there hope still or should I take his no contact as a hint and move on? if he gets back to me, what do I say about me being upset or carry on like it never happened? I feel like it's between us and feel so awkward now.Do you think I totally messed up? Any advice would be very welcome.
socialight Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 he just wasn't that in to you. your word for today is "NEXT". You seem awfully shaken up by the fact that you saw this guy once and then he blew you off. It shouldn't affect you that much. the fact that it does means it's more likely to happen again in the future until you can relax and not care. Nothing personal it took me about 6 months to get a grip but when once I did I have been on a roll.
garnet Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 I don't think you should feel stupid, you didn't do anything wrong. If it turns out it's true that "he just wasn't that into you" then he is the one who should feel bad. Why bother saying those things and making another date with you? If a guy isn't that into you he should have the balls to be honest about that and not lead you on.
Trialbyfire Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Why do you feel that you're a fool? If a guy tees up a second date and then reneges, better to find out right away. That's the beauty of dating, so you can weed out the incompatibles. Enjoy your freedom.
whichwayisup Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 Was it was too much too soon? I really like him and he seemed to really like me (our texts have been hot). See, online you two clicked, with the help of those steamy texts, which adds the spice and fantasy. All that changes when meeting someone face to face, even if you felt you two clicked, maybe he is freaked out by it or something. Anyway, ONLY talk to him on the phone, no more text chatting. And, if this doesn't work out, next time around, do the phone thing and meeting IRL rather than online talking.
halfarock Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 I once tried to date women that I met online. The problem for me was that online you get the sense that you really know someone and then when you actually meet them they are totally different. What I discovered was that the whole chemistry bit plays a much greater role than I had previously thought. So, after meeting with, I think it was, nine women, and not finding the chemistry in person that I thought might be there from our online conversations, I gave up trying.
DanielMadr Posted June 1, 2007 Posted June 1, 2007 In the cyberspace whre there is lack of real human contact - bodylanguage, pheromones and much more, your imagination and hopes can foul your brain. He probably wasnt that swept away as you were. But I think you should contain yourself more next time. Being desperate is always bad policy. Give them some space.
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