i dumped her...she initiates NC...i want to tlak to her...should I

[NY_runner]

so i broke up w/ her for a multitude of reaons/excuses but i still care about her alot. but to make it easer on her she said for me not to call her or contact her (this was on the final phone call after we talked in person). now i am just losing my mind on if i should call her i just want to know she is ok. i know i did this to her and just want her to be better or i want to try and help. i can't bring myself to do the things needed to do to stay with her but she is my best friend and i am so scared how she is taking this.

should i do something to let her know i still care and not have her think i absolutly hate her or is that a given?..please help.......

[LucreziaBorgia]

i can't bring myself to do the things needed to do to stay with her

 

For that reason, you should not contact her. What she wants and truly needs, you cannot give her. Best to let her get her head and heart back together for a while before you should even consider calling her.

 

As for 'friends', when a person is dumped, their own wishful thinking and false hope read any attempts at friendship as a sign that the dumper must want them back. If you aren't interested in a relationship with her outside of friends, then anything you do and say will do nothing but frustrate and confuse her.

 

If you want to be a true friend to her, let her go and let her heal. She can't heal if you are there trying to be her friend.

[hardcase]

so i broke up w/ her for a multitude of reaons/excuses but i still care about her alot. but to make it easer on her she said for me not to call her or contact her.....

 

 

Then you need to respect her wishes. YOU dumped her like trash, and now you want to make things harder on her?

 

Just leave her alone so she can get on with her life.

[NY_runner]

but am i allowed to one day talk to her after people around her tell me she is doing better. she is or was my best friend and i dont think i can handle her out of my life - it just isn't something that can work out in the long run and that we would both be happier with other relationships. i dont want to make things harder for her - i just dont know if me not seeming to care will make her feel more horrible then she already does. the reasons we broke up for were things be both knew were an issue but just tried to forget it. when i realized that she was in denial of it -i had to put an end to it or else it would have been worse 6 months down the road...

[hardcase]

but am i allowed to one day talk to her after people around her tell me she is doing better. she is or was my best friend and i dont think i can handle her out of my life

 

sigh... aye yi yi....dude...YOU DUMPED HER!! Either ya wanted her out or ya didn't.

 

- it just isn't something that can work out in the long run and that we would both be happier with other relationships.

 

Ok then...there is absolutely no reason for you to contact her. And if she is doing better in the future and she has found a good man...you should respect the relationship enough to keep out of it.

 

i dont want to make things harder for her - i just dont know if me not seeming to care will make her feel more horrible then she already does.

 

No..keeping her dangling on a string will be harder on her.