april sunshine Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Hi everyone....I thought I would share my story, and hopefully recieve some advice from those of you who know better! About a month ago I caught up with a friend whom I had not seen for fifteen years, we were best friends as teenagers...and he was very much in love with me. When I began a relationship with the person I later married, my friend was devestated, and it took him several years to begin a relationship, as he was unable to find 'another me'. Skip to the present...I contacted him via email several weeks ago, and he invited me to dinner. At the end of the evening he told me that he still loves me, that he has always loved me. He has been in a relationship for eight years - married for the last three years, and has a 1y/o son. Although his wife is a nice person, with only the usual faults we all have...my friend was ready to leave her with the intent of pursuing a relationship with me, as he believes that he and I have a connection that he has never had with his wife. He also feels that he and I have a certain 'spark' that he has never experienced with another woman. I asked him not to leave his wife...I felt that he should take the time to be certain that he is making the right decision. Now I feel almost ill that he will change his mind and stay with his wife as I love him, I feel as though I have loved him for half of my life. We are both in our thirties. I have been divorced for several years, and have two children - 16 and 11. When we first began seeing each other, he was very enthusiastic about seeing me as often as he could....this was in a non-intimate sense as there has not been much opportunity to see one another in private. Our get-togethers consist mainly of lunch breaks etc. We have been intimate on one occasion. I get the feeling that he is in the midst of making a decision about leaving his wife, but is trying not to involve me in the process as he know's that I feel guilty about our situation. I have been concerned that the frequency of our contact has dropped off in the last week or so....as his wife is very suspicious. He has said things to me that I am seeing as positive in terms of a potential future together, examples of these are; I have been the most significant woman in his life, that I set the bar when he was a young man, and he has not found anyone who has been able to match it. That although his wife is a fantastic person, she has never had the emotional impact on him that I have had. He feels that he should leave his wife even if I never gave him a chance, as the way he feels about me is an emotional betrayal to his wife anyway. I have always known that I love him, and regretted very early on in my marriage the silly choices I had made. I never stopped thinking about him, and I have always wished that I had done things differently....I have never met another man who I have felt so happy with as this one....he is a very nice, decent and caring guy, he has a great sense of humour, everything about him is amazing. he recently told me that ' for the rest of my life, I will always be gentle with your heart'. I feel as though I could spend every minute of the rest of my life with him and it wouldn't be enough. I dissuaded him from making any quick decisions about his marriage because I was worried that he would have regrets....now I am scared that I will lose him. He says that he wishes his wife would somehow find out about us....as it would 'bring things to a head', but at the same time he doesn't want to hurt her. I imagine that he is also struggling with moving away from living with his young son whom he adores, and also having to consider the idea that I am not prepared to have another baby, while he would like to have more children. he has however said that this would be a sacrifice he is willing to live with in order to be with me. I suppose I am wanting some input from others as to what a likely outcome might be....I have never been in a situation like this before and I have no idea what to expect. I am hoping that we will end up together, as I love him.....there is no one else for me, I would rather continue on alone than choose another second best. It's funny how I have been very happy as a single woman for the past 5 years, and all of a sudden, since I have found him again, I feel lonely, because I am so worried I will lose him. Advice would be much appreciated! I would love some feedback from other women who have found themselves in similar situations, and also from men who might be able to provide a male perspective...
GreenEyedLady Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 You should do a search on Addicted2love's threads/posts...her situation is similar to yours... My instincts say he is just flattering you and he's not going to leave when he has a one year old child and a wife who is a fantastic person... But that's just my opinion...
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