behappy999 Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Hi, My boyfriend and I are both in our early 20's and have only been dating for about 6 months. When we first started dating I was amazed at how much he drank. I, (being underage and staying home to go to college) RARELY ever drank before I met him. In fact before him I could count on my 2 hands the amount of times I had been drunk. Trust me, this has changed.. He on the other hand, being of legal age and a few years older, had started drinking in his EARLY teens (first warning sign). The thing is-- He never drinks in the morning, doesn't let it interfere with school/work, does not hide it. He is NEVER violent or anything bad whatsoever. We can be sober together and still have fun. Which is why I'm not sure if this is something I should be worried about.. During the school year when he was broke and his friends were away at school, he only drank during the weekends with me or whatever. But, now that it is summer everyone is home and he's making money.. he goes to the bar quite a bit and some weeks drinks 5-7 days out of the week!! Maybe not sloppy drunk everyday but still. He will crack open a beer or 2 or 3.. Maybe it's because I haven't been around it much and I am younger but I find this to seem a little excessive..? I'm not sure if it's something I should bring up to him just yet-- but could he be a potential alcoholic down the road?
sweetie7 Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Hmm honestly, I feel like a lot of young guys are like this..especially in the summer months. I wouldn't be worried unless he was getting drunk alone or being violent. Yes, it's annoying and I hate being with guys who seem to have to always be drinking, but I don't think it's out of the norm. Make sure the two of you do spend some time alone not drinking, especially it it's important to you. As long as he's willing to not drink then it seems fine. He's probably just like ehh it's summer, I'm bored, the guys are drinking, so I will too.
kitesurfer Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 IF he drinks, then he is in fact a potential alcoholic. if he drinks too much when he is with you and it causes you concern, then you should voice your concerns to him. if he would rather drink than listen to you, then he either likes drinking more than you, or he is already and alcoholic. eitherway, alcohol has ruined the relationship and run away fast!
jcster Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Some people can drink this way when they are young and it's just a phase. Others will go on to become alcoholics. I don't think you can predict which way he's going to go right now. If it bugs you, you should talk to him about how you feel and suggest doing sober things when you're around. If he refuses to give it up, or starts sneaking booze, then you'll know he has a problem and you'll have to decide what to do from there. I'd give him the chance to straighten out first, if I were you.
Krytellan Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Hi. Your bf sounds a lot like the way I was. Actually up until about age 31, I drank a lot, and my family had a history of alcoholism. Anyway, I would drink almost every weekend and maybe a couple weeknights too. I did this only when it was appropriate, and never let it interfere with my life duties so to speak. But especially in the summer, yeah, basically all the time. I am not an alcoholic and now that I am with someone who isn't really a drinker, I have cut waaaaaay down and don't really miss it. I have drank maybe 6 times in that past year. A little extreme, but it illustrated that there is really no way to know how it will evolve. His drinking behavior now is not a valid indication of where he's headed. I think the issues to focus on are: Is there a history of alcohol in the family? Does he insist on drinking even when with you and you aren't? That to me would be a great indicator that there may be a problem. No matter how much I drank, it was always in the context of my setting. He will very likely tell you that it's not a problem when confronted, and based on what you have described, he is very likely right. He is able to moderate his drinking behavior based on his situation. That's good. Of course you should be thinking about this. You need to be objective enough to see the true warning signs should they appear. But don't put him in the drunk tank yet. I was like him and I am a wonderful and productive member of society... helping people with addictions in fact... go figure Good luck.
Recommended Posts