Lishy Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Ever slept with a man too soon and had it ruin where things were going? While it's important to not get too "physical" too soon... it's not always the way a man acts afterwards that changes things. If you're like lots of women, then it's often by accident that YOUR OWN FEELINGS quickly change and become more "serious" and intense. And for lots of men, this confuses them when it happens early on before they really know you well. Don't let this easily avoidable "trap" bring a premature end to what could be a great relationship. To learn how to keep the ATTRACTION and passion a man feels for you alive before and after getting physical... and keep it going long into a serious relationship, you need to read THIS: If you're in a place where you'd like to turn around a "troubled" relationship with a man... Or you've made some mistakes that have changed the way you and a man are with each other and you're not sure what to do next, then you need to keep reading... How do you forgive yourself for blowing a relationship when you realize you slept with a guy too soon and he lost all respect for you? OK, slow down. You're beating yourself up here, and it's not helping. In fact, I'm sure it's completely working against you right now the way you're worrying about what you've done wrong. While you're taking the credit and the blame for everything here... you're only contributing to your own suffering and making things worse for yourself. So let me say this in a loving way- CUT IT OUT! Here's the first thing you need to learn and understand... You'll never get things back to "the way they were". EVER. And believe it or not, that's a GOOD THING. It's time to let go of the past and start focusing on creating what's going on and can be done in a positive light in THE PRESENT. It's time to for you to start recognizing and ACCEPTING the beauty of things THE WAY THEY ARE. And it's time for you to STOP anxiously worrying and stressing out over how things have been in the past. You can learn lessons from the past, but you can't change it. That's why, on a deeper level... The sooner you can let go of the part of you that wants to CONTROL what has happened and how things have unfolded... then the sooner you're going to be able to let go and start changing things for the better in THE PRESENT. So... Did you sleep with the man you were seeing too soon and change the dynamic of your relationship early on? Maybe. But that's in the past. You can't change things back to the way they were. But you CAN make things EVEN BETTER and different than they were before... if you're willing to let go of your fear and anxiety and get to the place where you start DOING WHAT WORKS with a man. Hint - what works with a man is NOT trying to TALK TO HIM about all the things that have happened in the past. Still, knowing this, too many women call the man they're dating or see him in person and can't help but fall right into the trap of letting their uncertainty and anxiety do the talking. And they want to discuss and share all the thoughts they have been having about what's wrong, what's not working... and why he isn't acting a certain way. With fear, insecurity, or anxiety in their voice... this usually sounds like- "I need to talk to you...", and then they go on to spill everything they've been thinking and feeling and overwhelm the guy. Or they say... "Something is bothering me", and they explain how they feel hurt. But then the man, instead of sympathizing, feels like he's being CRITICIZED, and he pulls away. Or there's the famous "Why didn't you call me?" question. There's really no good answer, and no good conversation that can come from this if you're a woman looking to RECONNECT with a man. In fact, all these things above that women do practically GUARANTEE that a man is going to feel awkward around you and that the conversation is going to go NOWHERE. Don't do it! Do what works. And what works is CONNECTING with a man in the PRESENT MOMENT when you're together. So along those lines, here's another secret for you... If you learn to make a man feel that magical FEELING called ATTRACTION when you're with him and "in the moment"... then there's NOTHING that will keep him from wanting to see you and be with you. Including getting physical too soon. But if you DON'T make a man feel attraction and keep it going, then almost nothing else will matter. If you don't know how to make a man feel attraction... or you waste your time around him trying to rehash the past or talk about what was wrong in the past so you can "fix" things... then there's no way you're ever going to be able to CONVINCE him to want to see you or be with you. In other words, it's NOT THE WORDS and the conversations that you have with a man that are going to "rekindle" that spark between you and get his attention and interest. It's what you make him FEEL when he's with you that matters most.
SouthernT Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 This is from a daily email from Christian Carter right?
Author Lishy Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 I think it is ... My friend emailed me it as we were discussing her sleeping with a guy too soon and I thought it would help people here!
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Very interesting. I'm really glad I never called FF and/or sent that lame email now, despite the fact he can go f*ck himself.
Author Lishy Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 I was thinking of you when I posted that star! You deserve more than that honey I am just glad you have realised it!
alphamale Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 well women need to start thinking for themselves instead of getting their advice from these canned generic emails they forward to each other.
champagne Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Ha, ha, I just got that same email today, after I read this.
champagne Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 well women need to start thinking for themselves instead of getting their advice from these canned generic emails they forward to each other. Are you feeling threatened, Mr. Alphamale, that the guy sending out these emails might uncover your manly secrets to the women? He actually makes some good points. It's not any different from self-help books and the like. I think women are smart enough to realize this is one guy's viewpoint and they're not taking it as the word of God as the Word of God on Ultimate Truth of Men.
champagne Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 well women need to start thinking for themselves instead of getting their advice from these canned generic emails they forward to each other. Are you feeling threatened, Mr. Alphamale, that the guy sending out these emails might uncover your manly secrets to the women? He actually makes some good points. It's not any different from self-help books and the like. I think women are smart enough to realize this is one guy's viewpoint and they're not taking it as the word of God as the Word of God on Ultimate Truth of Men.
DanielMadr Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Are you feeling threatened, Mr. Alphamale, that the guy sending out these emails might uncover your manly secrets to the women? He actually makes some good points. It's not any different from self-help books and the like. I think women are smart enough to realize this is one guy's viewpoint and they're not taking it as the word of God as the Word of God on Ultimate Truth of Men. Why should he feel threatened? No secrets in this piece of email. I always say....when you sleep too early with him, only thing that can spoil it is your second thougts, doubts, fears, worries, guilt etc. Or that it was a case of Hit & Run - he wasnt interested in dating you from the start. Dont become too clingy or distant. What Carter advices you is to not pressure the guy with your fears etc. dont be clingy or insecure, b/c it tells him "she will make a hell of my life". He has to decide on his own. People under pressure are not feeling happy/attracted and decisions made under pressure are not honest ones. Dont be impatient and let the relationship progress in easy way. My advice: If you made 5 steps forward, dont make the same mistake and take another 5 steps forward or panic and make 5 steps back or even worse. Just settle down, take it easy and establish normal tempo. One step in a time. And dont worry to be seen as "easy". Make the effort to let him see, that you can be "easy"/feel safe ONLY around HIM. And it is some fine compliment.
Recommended Posts