blskaah Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I have been in a relationship for four years now. We have a two year old together, but it's becoming apparent that my BF is emotionally unavaliable. He was married before we got together, but it only lasted about six months. He has a son from that marriage, also a "surprise." Our relationship has gotten more and more stagnant as time has passed and it has gotten to the point where we don't tell the other that we love them and if we do it sounds rehearsed. I was putting up with it because he had been a good father. I was going to wait until my son was in kindergarden before I left, if nothing had happened. Unfortunately it has become clear that my BF favors his older son. We have his son half the time and we can't do anything if he's not with us. So our lives are put on hold four days out of the week. It hurts even more because my BF's family treats my son like he's not theirs. His mother has not asked for my son to come over once, but has the older grandson over at least once a month. She takes the older boy to museums, aquariums, parks etc. but does not include my son in on those things. As a mother it hurts and I have told her that she's free to take him once a month. (What hurts more is that my mom is dead and she would have loved her grandchildren.) So today kind of escalted things. We have a hamster and while i was out of the room he pulled the cage down and when I came back in he had been bitten and the hamster was dying. I called my BF to let him know what had happened and he went off on me. He told me that my son doesn't respect anyone else, and that there is something wrong with him. I told him that my son is two and that he is still learning. He put a personal attack saying that my son and me need to be separated so that my son can be disciplined by a "more capable" person. He said this because I stay home with my son. What hurt the most is that he said this "I have to comfort MY son about these things that YOUR son does." So now I am not sure that I made the right choice in staying. I know my BF loves our boy, but he's either yelling at him or ignoring him. I don't feel that's healthy for my son and if I have to leave him with someone else, I don't think I want to stay here to do that. Please give me your advice on this. I'm confused and hurt and I don't want to do something that could be considered irrational.
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