Guest Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I have been dating this 27 year old woman for nearly 2 years now. Last month was rocky for us. We live about an hour apart, and we were arguing over stupid things. She is still living at home with her parents but paying them rent. A 30 yr old married man who lives nearby and knows the family had been stopping by to fix one of their broke down vehicles. I thought nothing of it at first. Then when I found out they had been hanging out in town (movies, food, etc) I stated to make legit inquiries. She stopped calling me in the morning to tell me she loves me. She stopped calling at night to say goodnight. I felt neglected. She blamed it on the arguing. I blamed it on Mr Fixit. About 2 weeks ago after much much arguing, she confessed she snuck out with him on 3 occasions and had sex in the car on a back road. She said she feels awful and disgusted by it, and that she loves me more than anything and will do anything and everything to make things right. I have the taste of vomit in my throat even as I write this. She said she felt sorry for him because he's a had rough life full of abuse, drugs, misfortune, etc. She said she felt like she could make him feel better or something. She's got issues, or had, at least. I helped her quit smoking with encouragement. I helped her and motivated her to get back in school and get an education. I motivated her to save her money so we could possibly rent together. Her family is scum. They all smoke pots, milk the welfare system, live in a trailer, drop F bombs like it's going out of style, smoke nonstop in the home, absolutely treat her like ****, and are incredibly immoral. She cant get out. She has tried, but they keep her. They live in the middle of nowhere, nothing nearby. She has no license because they would never allow her to get one so long as she lived under their roof. She had been abused growing up, sexually, mentally, and neglected as a little girl. I knew she had a lot of baggage when I met her, and sometimes I feel I should have just walked in the other direction. BUT. There's always a but. She was always happy and smiling. She talked to everyone we bumped into at the store, she smiled and helped old people bring their carts to their cars. She tried to love life despite her surroundings. She's very affectionate, very beautiful, and a lot of fun. One of our first dates she bought me a 6 pack and we played Halo 2 all night on Xbox. She loves the same 'weird' activities I love and our lifestyles seem to mesh. When she told me she cheated on me I felt betrayed and full of hatred. I worked so hard and supportive to help her get on her feet, and this is how I am repaid? She's begging me not to leave her, she claims it was a stupid stupid mistake and will never happen again because she has come to realize after doing it how much in love with me she is. I might be able to understand a 1 time affair. But she had sex with him 3 times that week. That couldnt have been a compulsive moment. Sneaking out? It had to be premeditated! Anyway, I love her a ton. I cant stop thinking out everything and maybe I screwed up along the way and wasnt as supportive as I should have been. I dont know what to do. I dont know is relationships are salvageable after something like this happens. I've just worked so hard to get to where we are, it feels ****ty to just let go. Has anyone had success in a relationship where your other has cheated on you? How do I cope with this sort of betrayal?
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