barry Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 If a person has parents that split, get back together and that split again. A few bad personal relationships. How much does this really affect a person as far as new relationships go. What are the issues, if any. How can you deal with someone that is emotionally abusive because of the "past"
Tony T Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 People who live in the past have serious problems. Every relationship should stand on its own. If a person lets past problem relationships, parent divorce, childhood abuse or any other issues stand in their way of self actualization and evolution as a fulfilled human being, it's a sad state of affairs...although it happens often. There isn't much you can do about it except find someone who doesn't have a lot of crap in their past that they have to keep dredging up to screw up their present. There is no real way to deal with somebody like that except to be kind and patient and encourage them to get over it!!!
quankanne Posted January 23, 2003 Posted January 23, 2003 ditto Tony's remark, with the additional suggestion: take what is useful from your past and ditch the rest. Emotional abuse or any other kind of abuse really doesn't serve a good purpose, so why keep those tools? But, if one has experience of abuse, he can use that experience to make a decision NOT to be an abusive person, so in a sense, what wasn't beneficial then can be of help now, you know? if that person prefers to dwell on the hurts of the past and refuses to try to move past them, there really isn't much you can do until they're willing to move on. Love them, care for them, yes; suffer abuse at their hands because they feel they've got to stay caught up in a vicious cycle, no.
Recommended Posts