Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 TB > 8===D~~~( Y ) Hmm, hopefully you can substitute different initials in there as well.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Hmm, hopefully you can substitute different initials in there as well. You'd be amazed at what I can do.
SouthernT Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Possibly because his heart was never in it, before the talk. I personally would be flattered if a girl I was dating AND liked had this conversation with me. That's just it. Guys do not communicate the same way that we do. Guys expect us to read between the lines on some stuff when it would be much easier to put it in black and white for us. How on earth are we supposed to know if your heart is in it or not? Because men NEVER give a straight foward answer about things. It's like pulling teeth with ya'll. That right there is what makes a girl hold out on sex. In a man's head, he tells himself "well if I'm doint "this or that", then obviously I'm serious". Well it doesnt come across that way to a woman.
champagne Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Yes, I'm not really that convinced that Tanbark was really into her anyway, and it's easy to say she has "hang-ups" and is flawed, "playing games" and whatever, because he at least didn't get a piece of a** on his terms (I say that because he still did get sexual release it sounds.) She was obviously not ready to more forward in the "relationship" because something was "off" for her, from the vibes she was getting. This doesn't make her a whack job as many have been saying. There are two sides to every story.
Lishy Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Well I think oral sex is far more personal than sex itself! I give up the sex well before I suck his schlong or let him lick my punani! i think you did the right thing being upfront Tam!!!!! Her loss NEXT!!!!!!!!!!
ilmw Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 That's just it. Guys do not communicate the same way that we do. Guys expect us to read between the lines on some stuff when it would be much easier to put it in black and white for us. How on earth are we supposed to know if your heart is in it or not? Because men NEVER give a straight foward answer about things. It's like pulling teeth with ya'll. That right there is what makes a girl hold out on sex. In a man's head, he tells himself "well if I'm doint "this or that", then obviously I'm serious". Well it doesnt come across that way to a woman. Funny thing is... men could say the same thing about woman... we just talk to different languages...
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 That's just it. Guys do not communicate the same way that we do. Guys expect us to read between the lines on some stuff when it would be much easier to put it in black and white for us. How on earth are we supposed to know if your heart is in it or not? Because men NEVER give a straight foward answer about things. It's like pulling teeth with ya'll. That right there is what makes a girl hold out on sex. In a man's head, he tells himself "well if I'm doint "this or that", then obviously I'm serious". Well it doesnt come across that way to a woman. You can't be serious. Women are NOTORIOUS for expecting men to read-between-the-lines and read our minds - I'm guilty of this too! On the other hand, men are generally VERY black and white and formulaic. Here, Tanny has stated several times that he made it very clear to MC that he wanted MORE than just sex, but that sex was important and he didn't want to have to wait too long. I think the fact of the matter is if it were clear to TANNY that SHE was serious and not all about playing lame "ooooh read my mind, read my mind!!" manipulative games with him (and that the sex was inevitable), it likely would not have been as big an issue as it was. He genuinely liked her, but the method in which she carried out these odd games made him feel bad. But I have a feeling he'll be okay.
Lishy Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I dont agree that men expect us to read between the lines aany man I have dealt with has been bery upfront and told me how it is .... I think women do it all the time! I am notorious for it! I am not talking to my other half at the moment because i expected him to know how I felt without telling him!
Art_Critic Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I think she was still emotionally committed to someone else.. or she was secretly hoping that she would get back with that person and wanted to be able to say she never had sex while they were apart. If she still hung up on a guy then she would feel like she was cheating on him by having sex..
SouthernT Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Yes. Right after the first date she asked about that and I made it clear I wanted a relationship. That was mentioned a number of times so unless she just didn't believe me, then it was very clearly established. So once a man states verbatim that he wants a relationship, that is a girls cue to drop her guard? This is letting her know that it's not about sex? Because with me for example, the guy I'm dealing with, I've told him that it seems like he's just looking for sex because of how many times he's brought it up. His response was "of course that's not all that I want. I have a lot of respect for you as a woman and I would never try to hurt you" But in my head, I'm not taking that statement from him and assuming that he wants a relationship. This is what I mean by guys expecting a girl to read between the lines. Unless you missed it, check it out....http://ezinearticles.com/?expert_bio=Christine_Akiteng&bio_sort=a Yeah I missed this, I'll check it out tonight, looks interesting. Thanks! ST, we're not saying women who just-so-happen to not be having sex (because they're not in a relationship, or injured, or separated by 15,000 miles) have a low sex drive. But if you're honestly saying that while in a relationship you're completely able to go without, then IMHO you DO have a low sex-drive. Inside of a relationship, then of course I would have to agree with this. You are right. I'm simply saying before the relationship has even started and there hasnt been a clear understanding set yet. That's all I'm saying.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 But I have a feeling he'll be okay. Yeah, I'll be cool. I think she was still emotionally committed to someone else.. or she was secretly hoping that she would get back with that person and wanted to be able to say she never had sex while they were apart. If she still hung up on a guy then she would feel like she was cheating on him by having sex.. That's possible. Her last relationship was 7 years and that ended a little over a year ago. It's possible she's still hung up on the guy or just not ready in general.
champagne Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Last time: I wanted more than sex. If you still don't understand that, I can draw you a picture. If that were true, I don't think you would have just let the relationship go so easily.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 So once a man states verbatim that he wants a relationship, that is a girls cue to drop her guard? This is letting her know that it's not about sex? Because with me for example, the guy I'm dealing with, I've told him that it seems like he's just looking for sex because of how many times he's brought it up. His response was "of course that's not all that I want. I have a lot of respect for you as a woman and I would never try to hurt you" But in my head, I'm not taking that statement from him and assuming that he wants a relationship. This is what I mean by guys expecting a girl to read between the lines. You and "your man" haven't even been out on a date alone or even kissed. The situations are apples and oranges. Not even apples and oranges... more like apples and hammers.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 If that were true, I don't think you would have just let the relationship go so easily. It's been stated a number of times that she ended it. I didn't "let it go". Time to pop for those reading lessons. And if you don't believe my intentions then your feedback is useless because it just means you're flat out wrong.
ilmw Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 You and "your man" haven't even been out on a date alone or even kissed. The situations are apples and oranges. Not even apples and oranges... more like apples and hammers. :lmao:... I'm stealing that one...
SouthernT Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 You can't be serious. Women are NOTORIOUS for expecting men to read-between-the-lines and read our minds - I'm guilty of this too! On the other hand, men are generally VERY black and white and formulaic. Men & Women do it. But if I were this girl and Tan told me he wanted a "relationship", I would have jumped right on it. (And ON him too. ) SG, with your last situation, did your guy explain things in a black/white fashion to you? Or were you left "wondering" afterwards? I'm just saying that men and women communicate differently.
SouthernT Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 You and "your man" haven't even been out on a date alone or even kissed. The situations are apples and oranges. Not even apples and oranges... more like apples and hammers. thanks for the "friendly reminder" Tan.... But in the event that we DO go out?
alphamale Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 its the woman's job to bring up any idea of a relationship. i don't believe i've ever been the first to ask for one.
champagne Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 its the woman's job to bring up any idea of a relationship. i don't believe i've ever been the first to ask for one. Oh, absolutely not. Disagree here.
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 SG, with your last situation, did your guy explain things in a black/white fashion to you? Or were you left "wondering" afterwards? I'm just saying that men and women communicate differently. Yes. Not calling is "man speak" for "just not into you." Black and white, baby. When I was still smitten I just wanted to "womanize" it to death before by explaining and justifying and allathat BS.
SouthernT Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 its the woman's job to bring up any idea of a relationship. i don't believe i've ever been the first to ask for one. WOW....I'm not even going to "entertain" this remark......
SouthernT Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Yes. Not calling is "man speak" for "just not into you." Black and white, baby. When I was still smitten I just wanted to "womanize" it to death before by explaining and justifying and allathat BS. I mean BEFORE the sex of course....
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I mean BEFORE the sex of course.... You asked about AFTERWARDS. But yes, BEFOREhand he was very clear that he wanted a relationship. I believe he did. I also believe he simply changed his mind afterward, and made that change of heart very clear as well. People are allowed to do that, ya know. In retrospect, if there was anyone who wasn't all that clear, it was me. I went from room temp to blazing hot without any explanation or rational reason, crazy woman that I am. The fact of the matter is that waiting is no guarantee - EVER. Regardless if it's my f*ckface FF, or his crazy MC. At 35 years old, you'd think she would have figured that out by now.
alphamale Posted May 31, 2007 Posted May 31, 2007 Oh, absolutely not. Disagree here. WOW....I'm not even going to "entertain" this remark...... i'm trying more to get sex than a true relationship so why would i ask a woman for a relationship?
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