champagne Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Hmm, I wonder why she initiated the "sex talk" so soon? I think that's a little weird, and further demonstrates she has some hang-ups in that area. Did you tell her what "a long time" meant to you? Probably because she wanted to make sure she didn't get a guy who was after sex only. The fact that he stated "I don't wait that long, that doesn't happen for me" is a red flag.
sweetie7 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Ughh why can't I be the kind of girl that can date the same guy for 7 weeks and not have the urge to jump into bed with him? I'm sorry, but for me, if I'm really attracted to you, I'm going to want you. And while I probably won't do the initiating, it's going to be hard to hook up for 7 weeks and keep pushing you away. Plus, I agree that oral sex does not mean you HAVE to have sex...but if you feel so strongly about waiting, I don't get how you can be just fine doing oral and not taking it all the way. I feel like sex with a condom and the pill is probably safer than oral sex with nothing. I really wonder what her reasons are...
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Probably because she wanted to make sure she didn't get a guy who was after sex only.{/QUOTE] Uh huh. You say that as though a guy who IS after only sex is actually going to ADMIT to that on the first date. The fact that he stated "I don't wait that long, that doesn't happen for me" is a red flag. If his response is a red-flag (he was being honest, and I think MOST guys if they were honest would say the same thing), then why did she continue to date him?
StartingOver07 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 People are saying basically she was obligated to have sex with him just because they had oral sex. She's not obligated to do anything. But behaving like a neurotic Catholic schoolgirl wwith an "everything but" morality -- especially at age 35 -- is nuts. And speaks of something else, like major league game-playing. I mean, come on -- she puts the tip in and then backs off? Who does this? More to the point, what emotionally/sexually healthy person does this to someone they care about?
ilmw Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I have never heard of a 'sex talk' before.?? It has always just happened... no words said.. just a look... a smile.. or just being jumped.. I wonder if actually talking about "doing it".. adds pressure to the entire situation/relationship. ?
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Probably because she wanted to make sure she didn't get a guy who was after sex only. Apparently you missed the part where I said we knew each other for two years beforehand and it was already established that I wanted more than just sex. And, again, if I only wanted sex it would be easy to wait. Players love girls like you.
IpAncA Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 It sounds to me like she has created a line that must be crossed to be physically intimate.. whatever it is.. I think the problem right now is that this issue has become the center of your relationship.. You are saying that in order for the relationship to go forward you need sex. She is saying that in order for the relationship to go forward then no intercourse but she does provide oral sex. Stalemate unless on of you moves off your position. If she moves off her position she will feel like she moved too fast and should've waited and you made her do it.. If you move off your position you will feel put off and resent her somewhat tuill it boils up again.. Yep I agree with Art. The relationship is stuck unless one of you budges.
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Ughh why can't I be the kind of girl that can date the same guy for 7 weeks and not have the urge to jump into bed with him? I'm sorry, but for me, if I'm really attracted to you, I'm going to want you. I'm the same way. When I want to wait, I'm secretly hoping he won't put the moves on me, because if I'm attracted I literally cannot resist.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 I'm the same way. When I want to wait, I'm secretly hoping he won't put the moves on me, because if I'm attracted I literally cannot resist. <----------*takes notes*
sb129 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 SG and TB K-I-S-S-I-N-G If you do get it on, can I come to the wedding? I have never been to SF. Pretty please?
annabelle75 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Apparently you missed the part where I said we knew each other for two years beforehand and it was already established that I wanted more than just sex. And, again, if I only wanted sex it would be easy to wait. Players love girls like you. I don't really think this is about the sex. I think you really liked her and was serious about her and you just kind of feel like she is playing games with you. What exactly do you have to do to make her cross the line and slide all the way down instead of just teasing you? Her whole "stages" things just sounds silly. And to be honest, even though I don't jump into bed with every guy I date, if I was really attracted to a guy I was dating for 7 weeks there is no way in hell I won't be having sex with him. Escpecially if I had already done everything else but. It sounds more like she is a teenager than 35.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Pretty please? There will be a special LS table.
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 I don't really think this is about the sex. I think you really liked her and was serious about her and you just kind of feel like she is playing games with you. Yes, very much so.
StartingOver07 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Apparently you missed the part where I said we knew each other for two years beforehand and it was already established that I wanted more than just sex. And, again, if I only wanted sex it would be easy to wait. Players love girls like you. Ok, here's another theory. I know women who think oral sex (on the receving end) is the be-all and end-all of sex. Maybe she is one of those and her reason for delaying has nothing to do with stages of a relationship, or having been molested by her uncle when she was 12, or anything else. Maybe she is just a selfish person who was getting what she wanted and didn't care if TB was satisfied or not (beyond orgasm).
Author tanbark813 Posted May 30, 2007 Author Posted May 30, 2007 Ok, here's another theory. I know women who think oral sex (on the receving end) is the be-all and end-all of sex. Maybe she is one of those and her reason for delaying has nothing to do with stages of a relationship, or having been molested by her uncle when she was 12, or anything else. Maybe she is just a selfish person who was getting what she wanted and didn't care if TB was satisfied or not (beyond orgasm). That could be the case. She's very vocal about what she wants as far as "do this" or "do that" when messing around, which is good, but after a while it had me feeling resentful as she was basically calling all the shots as far as what was going to happen sexually. That was another reason I had for voicing my side of things.
sb129 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I don't really think this is about the sex. I think you really liked her and was serious about her and you just kind of feel like she is playing games with you. What exactly do you have to do to make her cross the line and slide all the way down instead of just teasing you? Her whole "stages" things just sounds silly. And to be honest, even though I don't jump into bed with every guy I date, if I was really attracted to a guy I was dating for 7 weeks there is no way in hell I won't be having sex with him. Escpecially if I had already done everything else but. It sounds more like she is a teenager than 35. Absolutely agree annabelle. Sluts of LS unite! Kidding..
annabelle75 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 That could be the case. She's very vocal about what she wants as far as "do this" or "do that" when messing around, which is good, but after a while it had me feeling resentful as she was basically calling all the shots as far as what was going to happen sexually. That was another reason I had for voicing my side of things. Some women just aren't all that into actual intercourse. It doesn't sound like she doesn't like sex, but perhaps doesn't want to waste time or effort on anything that she doesn't care for much. If that is the case, you are better off not pursuing things with her. She should want to fullfil your needs too.
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 There will be a special LS table. So presumptuous! Me likey!
annabelle75 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Absolutely agree annabelle. Sluts of LS unite! Kidding.. I'm not ashamed to admit that I love sex. Infact it is one of my favorite parts of being in a relationship. I love having some one to fullfil all my sexual needs (or as much as he can handle). Nothing to be ashamed of
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 I'm not ashamed to admit that I love sex. Infact it is one of my favorite parts of being in a relationship. I love having some one to fullfil all my sexual needs (or as much as he can handle). Nothing to be ashamed of UNITE! :bunny:
StartingOver07 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Some women just aren't all that into actual intercourse. It doesn't sound like she doesn't like sex, but perhaps doesn't want to waste time or effort on anything that she doesn't care for much. If that is the case, you are better off not pursuing things with her. She should want to fullfil your needs too. Exactly. I don't see a low sex drive here, because it sounds like she knows what she wants and makes sure she gets it. She just doesn't happen to give a rat's ass about TB's needs.
sb129 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 There is NO way I could wait 7 weeks. Sorry, call me easy....
StartingOver07 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 There is NO way I could wait 7 weeks. Sorry, call me easy.... Well, I could wait 7 weeks if I didn't like hime. And maybe I could wait 7 weeks if I felt really unsure about his intentions (which wasn't the case here). But there is no way I could wait 7 minutes once we were both naked!
sb129 Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Well, I could wait 7 weeks if I didn't like him Well yeah, but if I didn't like him I don't think I would last seven weeks with him.
Star Gazer Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 Ladies, please stop the sex talk about Tanbark. I seriously CANNOT CONCENTRATE!!!!!!!!!! (Back to work....)
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