mattea Posted May 30, 2007 Posted May 30, 2007 i recently broke up with my boyfriend when he decided to go to school out of state. we'd been together for about 1 1/2 years. he was accepted into good schools in state as well as to another about 3 hours away, but he wanted to go to the school 1000 miles away all along as he was making the decision about where he wanted to go to school, i wanted to feel a part of the decision, like we were going to decide what to do *together* based on what was best for both of us and if at all possible keeping the relationship together physically. i would have been consider relocating with him if he didn't see his opportunities here as good, but i don't think he was ready for that. i didn't really want to leave my home and he knew that. he wanted to try being in a long distance relationship and i didn't. it seemed unrealistic to me, especially since we'd been growing distant over time as he took months to make his decision and we would fight when we tried to talk about it. our other biggest problem is that he is extremely social and i'm quite introverted, which can be hard at times but i don't think insurmountable. after we broke up i started thinking that maybe i could handle long distance if i knew it was shorter term than 3 years. i suggested we could be long-distance for a year while i work and save more money, and then i could relocate in a year and go back go school where he's living. he seemed open to exploring this possibility but said he needed to think about it. 3 weeks went by and we spent time together but he never gave me a response to this suggestion. our relationship over these few weeks was awkward, but went back to being physical and (somewhat hesitantly) affectionate. i thought we were going to try. then friday night i was at his house and he didn't want me to stay over and said he felt "weird". this after a week of talking almost every day and seeing each other several times and being affectionate. now i haven't heard from him in 4 days, including a long weekend. he's moving in a couple months. he knew i was waiting for him to tell me his response to what i'd suggested about us staying together (i told him so). but he never did. i'm afraid too much damage has been done by my breaking up with him (we almost did another time to at my initiation). i think he feels shaken, unstable, etc. it seems like he's made his decision but i don't like the way we left things with me just leaving suddenly when he didn't want me to stay over that night. i just want to have a conversation about it so i know where we both stand and that it's over. i feel this is such an ugly way to end things, not enough closure and clarity. but i am ALWAYS the one to start the "we need to talk" conversations. what do i do here? just let it go, or ask him if we can talk so that i can get the closure i need? last time i asked him to talk about it, he didn't want to, even though while we were still together he was often open to talking.
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